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It's tragic. Cutters are at a pretty high risk for suicide, but there are several reasons why someone might cut. If they cut on a body part that is visible with normal clothing (on their forearms, for example), they want you to see it. They either want help or want attention but aren't ready to be helped. Usually, cutters cut where you can't see it. They may do it to "feel" pain, because sometimes feeling pain is better than not feeling anything at all; or they may do it to externalize the internal pain that they're feeling.
You are 100% right. As I said she could no longer "feel" so feeling pain insured her she could feel something. And she did try to comit suicide a couple of times. The majorty of her "cuts" were hidden. But in the end she did cut where you could see them. That is when she started counseling/therapy. Last I heard she is doing quite well and has become much stronger. We email almost weekly as I have moved 3,000 miles away. I am very proud of her for coming so far!!
You are 100% right. As I said she could no longer "feel" so feeling pain insured her she could feel something. And she did try to comit suicide a couple of times. The majorty of her "cuts" were hidden. But in the end she did cut where you could see them. That is when she started counseling/therapy. Last I heard she is doing quite well and has become much stronger. We email almost weekly as I have moved 3,000 miles away. I am very proud of her for coming so far!!
That's great news. Support is critical at this phase, especially if she backslides...which some cutters do from time to time. It's almost an addiction. I started in junior high and didn't stop until I was 24 (my last relapse). I'm now 32 and I can safely say I'm over it, but it was pretty damn hard!
My friend went through horrible times. Her past was bad, then she married an abusive man and had 3 children. All the while she was cutting. She started doing drugs trying to find some sort of relief. Her children were suffering. She tried to kill herself and lost her children...rightly so! They didn't deserve to suffer too. That was the breaking point! Her children were her life and although she did try to commit suicide again she worked hard, through therapy to get her life together. Her abusive husband was murdered. Another horrible event in her life. From that point on she started recovering. She had to have her life in order to even have the courts consider giving her children back to her. She worked two long years getting her life together. Finally a couple of years back she did get her children back. She now works with helping other women in similar situations. She finished her schooling and continues therapy. Yes, I am very proud of her and her accomplishments!! Her children are happy and secure now and so is she.
That is so wonderful...sometimes we have to hit bottom out in order to realize how bad things are...it is common for abuse survivors to marry into abusive unions, thereby the cycle keeps repeating itself..thankfully I married someone healthy who had helped me termendously here...that is often not the case. Your friend did well, she and so many others are the reason why I believe anyone can recover from abuse (however i do believe some can't and not because they did not try here) if they really truly want too...we can choose to ignore it..not face our demons, but if we don't, our demons will face us then...it will be either way here...no one can just put on rose colored glasses and pretend it did not happen, I tried that, and I got hurt through the denial and stuffing of feelings...I wish I could of faced it sooner rather than later, but you know what they say, better late than never, right?
i am glad you doing ok here hiknapster I never met anyone who started pulling in their 40s before, I met ALOT of hairpullers and ALL of them started in their early teens, so this is interesting to me here...take care of you!
Trichotillomania is not OCD or ICD and has nothing to do with it! It's linked with chronic depression, anxiety and other stresses in life.
I had it for about 4 years but i have conquered it with great success! Before it started I had long beautiful chestnut brown hair that went all the way down to my thighs and ended up having to cut it all off. I had a shaved head and always wore a hat. I believe it all started when my parents got divorced and I used to think it was my fault because my brother and I fought all the time but it wasn't, my mind fabricated that image which I believe provoked the Trichotillomania.
I went through three different stages of disorder. I first started pulling out my eyelashes until i had practically none, then i went on to my eyebrows and had to start drawing them on after a week because there was no hair, then I moved onto my head which was the worst one. I started getting bald spots all over my head when I finally decided to shave it off.
It took about a year to get over the disorder by just keeping my hands busy all the time with knitting, beading, embroidery, and other things that use both hands to create and it finally went away. I sometimes feel the temptation to do it when I reach a stressful situation but now I can resist that temptation by just finding something to keep my hands busy.
I now have my wonderful hair back and its taken my 3 years to grow it to my hips and I now have a great new respect for my hair.
There's my story and I haven't shared this with anyone until now. Thank you so much for posting and having the courage that I didn't
Trichotillomania IS an impulse control disorder, according to the American Psychiatric Association, along with pathological gambling, kleptomania and pyromania (Impulse Control Disorders) While it seems strange that a disorder I've had since the age of 4 (I'm 50 now) is linked to pyromania and kleptomania, I understand WHY it is. I have a fairly mild case of it (depending on the stresses in my life,) but it has been part of my life for 46 years now. No medication, psychotherapy, or behavioral therapy has stopped it, and now I just live with it and try to control it with keeping my hands busy. I've tried everything to stop completely to no avail.
I think I've had such a difficult time with it because during my childhood, my parents basically ignored what I was doing or told me to just stop (that sure didn't work!) I think if I had had help way back then, maybe I would not be doing it anymore. I didn't seek help (due to extreme embarrassment) until I was 30. I thought I was absolutely nuts and if I told anybody, my insanity would just be confirmed. I've learned through the years, that other than this one weirdness of mine, I'm really very normal , though during the time I thought I must be insane, I was quite depressed. I'm not now.
By the way, mine started at the age of 4 with eyelash pulling, then went to eyebrow pulling, then to head hair. I've read that this is often the progression it takes.
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