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Old 07-10-2014, 11:59 PM
 
3,605 posts, read 5,261,085 times
Reputation: 3356

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Quote:
Originally Posted by cloven View Post
^Just wish you'd made this post the OP, because then those of us who have become acquainted with your recurring challenges would be able to figure out what was going on,
straight off the bat, instead of wading through the static of what you were ranting about at first. Not scolding you, just sayin' I appreciate it when folks get right to the point.

It's regrettable that you've yet to find mental health professionals with whom you can & do get along well, whom you feel able to trust,
who "get" you as an individual, yet also can give you sense that they've seen this sort of problem before.
I'm lucky that since my Asperger's was diagnosed a decade ago, I've been able to have better interactions/sessions with my treatment team.
I've had plenty of far-from-satisfactory providers in past, as well-please don't let it sour you on the entire enterprise.

On a "housekeeping" note, wouldn't this thread belong better in Psychology or Mental Health ?
Apologies. But it honestly took me until I made an inappropriate post and then deleted it that I actually even realized exactly what was going on. I was honest on my rants, and I was communicating my true feelings that I wished to express. But it is the fear about tomorrow that is keeping me from being able to sleep. And I find posting on the internet extremely comforting as an internet addict.

This started out in relationships because it was a rant about not being able to date with extreme social anxiety, but the general interest of other posters in the thread quickly turned it into a purely mental health thread.

Sorry I can't rep you, I have to spread it around.
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Old 07-11-2014, 12:14 AM
 
33,336 posts, read 28,530,341 times
Reputation: 19824
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davros View Post
Put yourself in my shoes instead of judging me.

In short, my life sucks, through no fault of my own.

You can't understand what it's like to be in my shoes, so don't judge.

I went through college and went to maybe 3 parties, and just stood in the corner each time.

Have you ever heard the Smiths song "How Soon is Now," well that 100% accurately describes me and my life.

Have some compassion in your heart instead of judging me, and calling me creepy, and reporting me to the mods.
sorry i aint buying that load of manure. your life may suck, but the fault is yours. why? because you LET your life suck. i was just like you, when i went to parties, i couldnt wait to leave, still cant really. i dont like crowds, and ignorant people bug the heck out of me.

but, i still go to parties when invited, and i intermingle with the people at the party. granted it took me 25 years to get to that point because i didnt have people encouraging me to step out of my shell, but i got there. now its up to you to make your life what YOU want it to be. having trouble at a party? instead of standing in the corner, stand in the middle of the room. having a hard time talking to people? find a group of people, and listen into their conversation. get an idea of what they are talking about, and then offer up an opinion on the subject. be ready to back your opinion though because someone will challenge you.

i know exactly what it is like to be in your shoes. remember that everything you have been through in life, millions of someones have been there also in their lifetime. you are not that unique my friend.
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Old 07-11-2014, 06:38 AM
 
17,998 posts, read 15,840,916 times
Reputation: 40730
Self-pity is also an addiction.

I I believe that, deep down, you are very satisfied with your situation, so it is hard to indulge you. I am sure your therapists picked up on it too.
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Old 07-11-2014, 07:32 AM
 
28,366 posts, read 19,904,848 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Self-pity is also an addiction.

I I believe that, deep down, you are very satisfied with your situation, so it is hard to indulge you. I am sure your therapists picked up on it too.
I agree with this. I myself am very outgoing, however I have become friends with a girl with pretty severe social anxiety that I met at a Meetup. This girl (woman really, she's about 30) is pushing herself out of her comfort zone more every day, because she's not happy with being lonely. She got the b*lls to ask me at the Meetup we met at if I wanted to hang out sometime, we exchanged numbers. When she's here, and especially the first time, I can see how nervous she is, how uncomfortable she is, and how hard it is for her to force herself into social situations that she finds frightening and uncomfortable, yet she is doing it. I see her name on the RSVP list for many of the Meetups, she is truly stretching herself in an effort to change her life.

It is one thing to vent, but at some point changing your life requires action, doing things you don't want to do or feel afraid of, and forcing yourself kicking and screaming out of your comfort zone.

Try to increase your social "muscles" with friends (guy friends) and just in general becoming comfortable being around all kinds of people first, then move on to trying to meet a romantic partner.
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Old 07-11-2014, 08:42 AM
 
33,336 posts, read 28,530,341 times
Reputation: 19824
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
I agree with this. I myself am very outgoing, however I have become friends with a girl with pretty severe social anxiety that I met at a Meetup. This girl (woman really, she's about 30) is pushing herself out of her comfort zone more every day, because she's not happy with being lonely. She got the b*lls to ask me at the Meetup we met at if I wanted to hang out sometime, we exchanged numbers. When she's here, and especially the first time, I can see how nervous she is, how uncomfortable she is, and how hard it is for her to force herself into social situations that she finds frightening and uncomfortable, yet she is doing it. I see her name on the RSVP list for many of the Meetups, she is truly stretching herself in an effort to change her life.

It is one thing to vent, but at some point changing your life requires action, doing things you don't want to do or feel afraid of, and forcing yourself kicking and screaming out of your comfort zone.

Try to increase your social "muscles" with friends (guy friends) and just in general becoming comfortable being around all kinds of people first, then move on to trying to meet a romantic partner.
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Old 07-11-2014, 04:16 PM
 
3,605 posts, read 5,261,085 times
Reputation: 3356
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Self-pity is also an addiction.

I I believe that, deep down, you are very satisfied with your situation, so it is hard to indulge you. I am sure your therapists picked up on it too.
What do you suggest I do, then?
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Old 07-11-2014, 04:18 PM
 
3,605 posts, read 5,261,085 times
Reputation: 3356
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
I agree with this. I myself am very outgoing, however I have become friends with a girl with pretty severe social anxiety that I met at a Meetup. This girl (woman really, she's about 30) is pushing herself out of her comfort zone more every day, because she's not happy with being lonely. She got the b*lls to ask me at the Meetup we met at if I wanted to hang out sometime, we exchanged numbers. When she's here, and especially the first time, I can see how nervous she is, how uncomfortable she is, and how hard it is for her to force herself into social situations that she finds frightening and uncomfortable, yet she is doing it. I see her name on the RSVP list for many of the Meetups, she is truly stretching herself in an effort to change her life.

It is one thing to vent, but at some point changing your life requires action, doing things you don't want to do or feel afraid of, and forcing yourself kicking and screaming out of your comfort zone.

Try to increase your social "muscles" with friends (guy friends) and just in general becoming comfortable being around all kinds of people first, then move on to trying to meet a romantic partner.
I don't want to.
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Old 07-11-2014, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
23,988 posts, read 25,898,948 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Davros View Post
What do you suggest I do, then?
You're not going to actually do anything, so what does it matter what zentropa or anyone thinks you should do?
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Old 07-11-2014, 06:29 PM
 
3,605 posts, read 5,261,085 times
Reputation: 3356
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
You're not going to actually do anything, so what does it matter what zentropa or anyone thinks you should do?
Yeah, I better not dare to reject the advice of one of the Most HighlyFavored Posters around here.

She decided to make a snide remark attacking me on my thread and get my thread relegated to one of the less used forums around here to shut me up, so I have a right to ask her what she suggests I do, since she says I'm just a POS who deserves what I get.
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Old 07-11-2014, 07:35 PM
 
1,406 posts, read 2,477,622 times
Reputation: 1414
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davros View Post
Yeah, I better not dare to reject the advice of one of the Most HighlyFavored Posters around here.

She decided to make a snide remark attacking me on my thread and get my thread relegated to one of the less used forums around here to shut me up, so I have a right to ask her what she suggests I do, since she says I'm just a POS who deserves what I get.

Are you actually tattling? Seriously?
Based on your posts so far, it's not your social anxiety that's making it impossible to find a woman, it's your bad attitude. Some of your posts are so childish. Geez!
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