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Old 10-08-2014, 11:44 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
6,424 posts, read 3,248,569 times
Reputation: 3147

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JrzDefector, great advice!

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I'm so surprised that so many people cared enough to respond.
We care a great deal.

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I can't help but think I've failed him as a mother.
That's understandable but no, you have not failed him.

I'm a little worried about the Ritalin. My son was on it and it made him depressed. This is one of it's side effects.

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We have never really spanked him, seems too late to start that now, how do I discipline him when I feel so sorry for him?
I believe he needs loving support and comforting. I think perhaps both you and his father need support too.

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... he's right back to being disrespectful all over again.
I would suggest that he is not actually being disrespectful but rather he is being a victim of his inner turmoil which is making him behave that way. I feel for this family. You love your child!

Have a read on this site; https://www.lifetreksolutions.com/articles.php?id=43
It may help explain what could be going on with your son - not to suggest your son has the exact same conditions - just to give you an idea of the kind of things that can go on.
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Old 10-09-2014, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 90,937,721 times
Reputation: 39977
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandy1172 View Post
Thank you all! I have an appointment for him on Wednesday to see his pediatrician. This doctor of his is currently looking for my son a psychologist to talk to. He is currently on Ritalin for his ADD, it only helps his extreme laziness and his runaway thoughts. Before the Ritalin he was on Zoloft, from a regular MD, his pediatrician acted like that was too strong of a drug for him to be taking, but at least when he was taking that he would sleep in his room. He currently sleeps on the couch, our bedroom door has to be open or he'll panic. I didn't think I had any replies to my post lol I was checking my email and noticed I had a few replies :-) Thank you so much for all of your concerns and ideas! It means so much to me. I will let you know what happens after his appointment Wednesday. The doctor is going to do blood work and check his thyroid. I have read some information about that GABA. What is that exactly? Is it a vitamin? I bought him a children's multivitamin to take daily. He's been taking the Ritalin for over a year now, and all of his anxiety started when he was 10 years old, real soon after my father's death. I originally thought he had just realized what death was, but I don't think it's as simple as that now. I was wondering about the post about Ritalin and depression. Do you think a 13yr old is capable of being depressed? Are the signs the same as the ones for adults? Any suggestions of how I should communicate with his Dr. all of my concerns? Seems like once I get there, I forget my most important points I want to make- maybe I can write a list and bring it along. Again, thank you to everyone who answered! I'm so surprised that so many people cared enough to respond. I feel hopeful too that others have gone through this, and that there seems to be a solution for his condition. I'm still struggling with why he's like this though. I can't help but think I've failed him as a mother. What else can I tell him to reassure him? You were exactly right about him being ok at school because he has no control. Should I ask his Dr about checking his levels in his blood? Also, what's the kind of psych Dr that would be best? Psychiatrist or psychologist?
Mandy, a 3 year old can be depressed, so I'm sure your son could be too.

You should have him evaluated by a child psychiatrist for PROPER diagnosis and medication.

Do not let your pediatrician give him any more meds until you know for sure what you are dealing with!

The psychiatrist will then recommend a good child psychologist to work with, preferably one who does hypnotherapy.

The psychiatrist is a medical doctor. If he/she thinks any blood work is necessary they will tell you.

Best of luck.
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Old 10-10-2014, 06:40 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,322 posts, read 5,073,209 times
Reputation: 9781
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandy1172 View Post
I asked a second time about him being referred to a counselor or Psychologist. There's probably not too many who take his insurance, but his Dr said it can take up to 6 months! That's so long! His behavior is starting to be real bad too, I'm not sure how to deal with that either. If his dad raises his voice to him, he immediately starts crying and seems so upset, but then the next day, he's right back to being disrespectful all over again. If he wants me around at all times and can't sleep in his room, why would he be acting so disrespectful towards his dad and I? We have never really spanked him, seems too late to start that now, how do I discipline him when I feel so sorry for him?

The Ritalin can make all his emotions intensified and cause a rebound depression effect when it where's off. Usually, something like clonadine would be prescribed in conjunction to help him sleep. I certainly hope the MD is not prescribing Ritalin close to bed time. This is not a drug that you can test the "levels" in the blood.

If he does well at school, so far you have not mentioned ANY symptoms suggestive of ADHD. You have mentioned a A LOT of anxiety symptoms and stimulants like Ritalin can make this worse. It's clear your MD is a pediatrician and not a psychiatrist because to switch from Zoloft to Ritalin, and the reason given not to be on Zoloft, is suspect.

Any child of any age can be depressed and suicidal. Your son definitely sounds anxious from what you describe and Ritalin will make that, plus his obsessive and compulsive thoughts regarding your safety, worse.

I know of no state where there is a wait to see a child psychologist or counselor. The pediatric psychiatrist will probably take much longer for an apt but it is imperative that the pediatrician cease from the med dispensing and transfer this to the psychiatrist. Even if it's an adult psychiatrist for now as opposed to a pedi.

I wish you well.
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Old 10-10-2014, 10:09 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 6,067,310 times
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does he have sugar
have you had his Vit D levels checked?
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Old 10-11-2014, 04:30 PM
 
Location: USA
16,917 posts, read 8,875,195 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 303Guy View Post
I'd suggest you to have him seem by more than a doctor. One of the things I'd ask to have checked would be GABA deficiency but it's likely not to be that simple although GABA deficiency is said to be associated with anxiety, OCD, ADD, emotional instability, mood swings and so on. One test for it is to boost it and see what happens (like with chewable GABA). I suspect my son suffered from it (possibly not the only thing he suffered from). Whatever is causing your son's anxiety/emotional sensitivity/instability should be considered as dangerous. My own son had Asperger's (and autism) which is associated with GABA deficiency (by some researchers). That's not to suggest your son is on the autism spectrum (or that he does have GABA deficiency) but I'm betting he does have some deficiency/brain chemical imbalance.

I hope your son is not on Ritalin - it made my son depressed which is one of its side effects.

On a more positive note, I do believe he can be helped if correctly diagnosed (and therein lies the difficulty. Wrong diagnosis/drugs can make matters worse). But research into neurotransmitter imbalances is ongoing.

Be aware of side effects of possible drug he may be put onto. For example, I was put onto a drug for epinephrine deficiency which worked but it was new on the market and I was put on too much for too long. It's nasty side effect was sensitization to allergies. A drug I was put on later had the nasty side effect of making me feel old and sore (for nearly a year) but it reversed the allergy sensitization. You get what I mean by side effects!


Take care.
303Guy
Yes, it's exciting to think that something as simple as probiotics could make such a difference in one's mental health. We are currently trying this with our 19 year old son who suffers with anxiety (and I am taking probiotics as well). There were 2 specific strains that were used in the study that I read about: Lactobacillus helveticus R0052 and Bifidiobacterium longum. For adults, the clinical dosage was 10-20 billion CFU’s (colony forming units) per day. I found a couple of different brands that included those specific strains. The one we are currently trying is Primadophilus Optima.

A few articles that I found helpful...

Do Probiotics Help Anxiety? | Psychology Today

Gut feelings: the future of psychiatry may be inside your stomach | The Verge

[Review] Dumbing Down The Mind-Numbing World Of Probiotics; The Complete Probiotic Buyer's Guide
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Old 10-11-2014, 11:05 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
6,424 posts, read 3,248,569 times
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I've wondering about that because I suffered upset stomach for many years and through childhood. But I was wondering why some of us would have absorption problems and whether probiotics would correct those problems. I'm taking Digestion Formula but it does not say it contains those two strains or the one you're trying. It seemed to upset my stomach a little for a few days which didn't surprise me. Thing is, I'm feeling a difference after a week but I've been taking therapeutic supplements as well so I can't say what has been helping. Probably all of them together.

I shall look for those specific strains and try them.
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Old 10-13-2014, 07:22 AM
 
Location: USA
16,917 posts, read 8,875,195 times
Reputation: 2265
Quote:
Originally Posted by 303Guy View Post
I've wondering about that because I suffered upset stomach for many years and through childhood. But I was wondering why some of us would have absorption problems and whether probiotics would correct those problems. I'm taking Digestion Formula but it does not say it contains those two strains or the one you're trying. It seemed to upset my stomach a little for a few days which didn't surprise me. Thing is, I'm feeling a difference after a week but I've been taking therapeutic supplements as well so I can't say what has been helping. Probably all of them together.

I shall look for those specific strains and try them.
Good to know that what you're doing is helping, Guy.

I have had stomach issues from when I was a child. So has my son. I don't know if its the probiotics or not but he says his anxiety is much less in the last week so, fingers crossed.
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Old 10-15-2014, 10:50 PM
 
1,430 posts, read 2,020,587 times
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You are not alone Mandy!
It sounds like he was pre-disposed to anxiety and the event of death of your father was a catalyst to the anxiety behavior symptoms.
Research therapeutic approaches such as: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Solutions-Focused Therapy and Motivational Interviewing. I encourage you to develop a plan where he feels safe and not fearful. CBT works well. I think medications should be used as a last resort and ritalin/adderall is over prescribed...the brain is not yet fully developed and stimulants will alter the way the components of the cells communicate together. Unless you have a clear understanding of what modifications are necessary giving him ADD rx is not advisable (in my opinion).
Have you thought about prayer? Perhaps is he knew that there was a power (God) greater than himself, he would realize that he does not have to control everything to feel safe.
I TOTALLY feel your pain! Please let us know how he is doing after the docs appt.
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Old 10-17-2014, 10:59 PM
 
999 posts, read 1,482,858 times
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As a medical biochemist, who has anxiety and my 23 yo daughter has anxiety as well (we can trace it back 5 generations), I see lots of things going on...

Ritalin is a stimulant that we use for people with hyperactivity disorders because it has a paradoxical chemical reaction in those people. Instead of stimulating them, it helps them slow down. However, I think Ritalin is horribly overused by doctors and suggested by schools to keep boys who are being boys conform to sitting in a chair all day long.

Having a child with anxiety and growing up with anxiety myself, I understand the constant unreasonable fears and how they control our lives. However, you do have to urge him to go out of his comfort zone, just provide a safety net.

Anxiety and depression are very often found in the same individuals and yes, 13 yo can have depression.

You say he is being more disrespectful. He's no different than any other 13 yo. In my house if you get a sassy mouth or are otherwise disrespectful there are consequences, anxiety or not! He has to learn to function in the real world if he is to have a "normal" life. And being disrespectful is not acceptable in the outside world. In some ways he is no different than any other 13 yo. Try to see him as a "normal" 13 yo who has a condition that you help him to manage, as if he had a peanut allergy and you teach him to read labels carefully, carry an epi pen, etc.

Anxiety is no different. When our daughter was old enough and understood the consequences of using a controlled substance like xanax, our doctor wrote her a prescription and she was allowed to carry one pill with her. She had to report to me when she had used it and why to get access to an additional pill. One pill at a time because a bottle of xanax can easily kill someone. Now that she is older and away from home at college she has complete control over her meds.

Anxiety in males tends to be displayed as anger and/or rebellion. Females are more prone to becoming overly emotional or playing the "slamming the door" card.

I am interested in the information on probiotics and will be looking into that as both my daughter and myself have some stomach problems. A drug named Remeron has helped me with stomach issues. Xanax keeps the rare panic attack controllable. Omeprazole can help with a chronic acid stomach. Imodium stops the diarrhea when things get really bad.

The best thing I ever did was to find a good doctor to treat the condition. It happened to be our primary care doctor. He really understands it. And he has taught us to cope with our issue (he compares it to someone with diabetes who has to test their blood multile times per day and inject insulin as needed...they have to stop during their day and take care eof themselves). We have learned how to meditate, practice yoga (good breathing techniques), get exercise every day to burn off the adrenaline, and cultivate with friends who bring positive emotons to our lives. The negative and destructie friends have to go.

Good luck with your son. You will be surprised how many people you know take meds for anxiety once you open up about it.
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Old 10-19-2014, 01:42 AM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
6,424 posts, read 3,248,569 times
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Ritalin is a dopamine and norepinephrine stimulant (at least it acts on those receptors). That would be why it calms ADHD kids - it 'wakes' up the under active areas of the brain or 'balances' the neurotransmitters. One of the side effects of Ritalin is anxiety. Another is depression. My son became zombie like on Ritalin. Managable in the classroom, sure but not an improvement really.

I have seen an improvement in my anxiety and depression since taking a digestive enzyme mix. I simultaneously started taking L-Theanine which is suppose to boost GABA in the brain. So now I can't say which of the two brought about the improvement. But whichever it was (it may be a combination of several things), these are harmless treatments and don't cost the earth. I am sleeping better (still not getting enough quality sleep), and I'm handling my sons death better. I'm handling most things better and I seem to be more 'awake' and I've found myself having a little bit of humour.

In the past, if I forgot to take my meds in the evening I would have a bad day. Yesterday I slept normally and I coped normally even though I forgot my meds the night before. Coincidence? I'll see when I forget again.
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