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Old 09-21-2014, 07:30 AM
 
Location: White Oak, Tx
22 posts, read 22,835 times
Reputation: 18

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I don't know what to do anymore, honestly. My son is 13yr old, and so far has been diagnosed with ADD, and separation anxiety. He's only worried about being away from, so to make everything easier, I usually take him everywhere I go. He attends school, and is fine there, but I have to tell him I'll be home all day or he'll be worried. How do I leave him with his dad, or anyone, when he's having a meltdown- crying and saying he can't breathe. He has been on medication before, it only disrupts his sleep, and it doesn't help anxiety at all! I guess I need to go back to his doctor, maybe he has some form of OCD? He really thinks he's preventing something horrible by being with me- he thinks I'm going to die- I'm not sick, I'm older than most of his friends' parents, but good grief! I'm not as old as my husband. I don't understand, can someone with anxiety please tell me why it seems like he can't control his anxiety and fears?
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Old 09-21-2014, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
6,320 posts, read 3,194,573 times
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I'd suggest you to have him seem by more than a doctor. One of the things I'd ask to have checked would be GABA deficiency but it's likely not to be that simple although GABA deficiency is said to be associated with anxiety, OCD, ADD, emotional instability, mood swings and so on. One test for it is to boost it and see what happens (like with chewable GABA). I suspect my son suffered from it (possibly not the only thing he suffered from). Whatever is causing your son's anxiety/emotional sensitivity/instability should be considered as dangerous. My own son had Asperger's (and autism) which is associated with GABA deficiency (by some researchers). That's not to suggest your son is on the autism spectrum (or that he does have GABA deficiency) but I'm betting he does have some deficiency/brain chemical imbalance.

I hope your son is not on Ritalin - it made my son depressed which is one of its side effects.

On a more positive note, I do believe he can be helped if correctly diagnosed (and therein lies the difficulty. Wrong diagnosis/drugs can make matters worse). But research into neurotransmitter imbalances is ongoing.

Be aware of side effects of possible drug he may be put onto. For example, I was put onto a drug for epinephrine deficiency which worked but it was new on the market and I was put on too much for too long. It's nasty side effect was sensitization to allergies. A drug I was put on later had the nasty side effect of making me feel old and sore (for nearly a year) but it reversed the allergy sensitization. You get what I mean by side effects!


Take care.
303Guy

Last edited by 303Guy; 09-21-2014 at 06:56 PM..
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Old 09-21-2014, 09:53 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 90,646,613 times
Reputation: 39972
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandy1172 View Post
I don't know what to do anymore, honestly. My son is 13yr old, and so far has been diagnosed with ADD, and separation anxiety. He's only worried about being away from, so to make everything easier, I usually take him everywhere I go. He attends school, and is fine there, but I have to tell him I'll be home all day or he'll be worried. How do I leave him with his dad, or anyone, when he's having a meltdown- crying and saying he can't breathe. He has been on medication before, it only disrupts his sleep, and it doesn't help anxiety at all! I guess I need to go back to his doctor, maybe he has some form of OCD? He really thinks he's preventing something horrible by being with me- he thinks I'm going to die- I'm not sick, I'm older than most of his friends' parents, but good grief! I'm not as old as my husband. I don't understand, can someone with anxiety please tell me why it seems like he can't control his anxiety and fears?
Mandy, he needs a therapist who also does hypnosis.

Once the therapist has worked with him a while to calm his anxieties he/she will teach your son how to do self-hypnosis and how to deal proactively with his anxiety. This problem CAN be overcome, but only if you take serious steps to get him the help (and maybe even medication) he needs.

Best of luck.
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Old 09-23-2014, 02:49 AM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
6,320 posts, read 3,194,573 times
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Couple that with good nutrition. Stimulants can only make things worse, like caffeine, sugar, refined carbs etc so I'd suggest eliminating them. Then add brain foods like raw cashews, other nuts, chelated magnesium, omega three fish oils (and fish), unsaturated vegetable oils, raw veggies, whole grains and seeds and so on. Make it a multi pronged approach. Stimulating exercise also helps. Researchers are saying that massage helps.
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Old 09-27-2014, 08:59 PM
 
160 posts, read 333,450 times
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I had that when I was his age. I didn't want my mom to go anywhere because I was afraid she will die in a crash or something but I was taking adderall at the time. But it eventually pass because I realized I have no control. Just sit down with him and talk and talk about why he feels like that and explain to him that you love him and that when you are away from him you are thinking good thoughts and not bad thoughts. Because he doesn't understand that we can't worry about what might happen he doesn't see that in his view. I can relate what your son is going through.
The reason he does fine at school is because at school he realizes he has no control and he tries to take his mind off you.

If he tells you that he feels like he has to protect you or something what is really going through his mind is that if something does happen he will risk his life for you. I am trying to think of coping skills skills, if I can remember some I will sent a message to you. If you take him to doctors you are taking a longer route to the root of his problem. Doctors all their going to do is going to mask the problem.
Remember doctors are not the ones going home with your son you are. ADD and aniexty are 2different things.

Last edited by Hourglass45; 09-27-2014 at 09:09 PM..
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Old 09-28-2014, 11:36 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
6,320 posts, read 3,194,573 times
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Interesting insight, Hourglass45.

Quote:
A child who seems to have ADHD — she’s hyperactive, impulsive, and inattentive — may have an anxiety disorder instead. Children who display classic symptoms of anxiety disorder may have ADHD. Distinguishing between ADHD and an anxiety disorder requires a full evaluation by a professional who is willing to dig deep for clues.
and
Quote:
About half of all children with attention deficit disorder (ADHD) also have a learning disability, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anger-control difficulties, a motor tic disorder, bipolar disorder, or an anxiety disorder. Symptoms may also look similar.
Here they are talking about ADD and calling it ADHD. Another source might say the opposite but my experience tends to support the above.

Last edited by 303Guy; 09-29-2014 at 12:00 AM..
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Old 10-01-2014, 10:38 AM
 
14,068 posts, read 14,597,804 times
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You say doctor, but is he seeing a psychiatrist? If not, he needs one badly. His behavior is extreme and it needs to be addressed by a professional who specializes in mental health. And there are many medications that could help him, so try some others.

I have ADD, with side dishes of anxiety, OCD and depression that crop up now and then. I'm currently on Zoloft to deal with a high-anxiety period of my life, and it makes me sleep like a log while easing the anxiety. When my anxiety is treated, my ADD symptoms are less and my OCD symptoms subside entirely.

Other things you can do are to introduce him to yoga and meditation, and get him involved in something physically active.

But he absolutely needs to see a psychiatrist.
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Old 10-07-2014, 01:42 AM
 
Location: White Oak, Tx
22 posts, read 22,835 times
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Thank you all! I have an appointment for him on Wednesday to see his pediatrician. This doctor of his is currently looking for my son a psychologist to talk to. He is currently on Ritalin for his ADD, it only helps his extreme laziness and his runaway thoughts. Before the Ritalin he was on Zoloft, from a regular MD, his pediatrician acted like that was too strong of a drug for him to be taking, but at least when he was taking that he would sleep in his room. He currently sleeps on the couch, our bedroom door has to be open or he'll panic. I didn't think I had any replies to my post lol I was checking my email and noticed I had a few replies :-) Thank you so much for all of your concerns and ideas! It means so much to me. I will let you know what happens after his appointment Wednesday. The doctor is going to do blood work and check his thyroid. I have read some information about that GABA. What is that exactly? Is it a vitamin? I bought him a children's multivitamin to take daily. He's been taking the Ritalin for over a year now, and all of his anxiety started when he was 10 years old, real soon after my father's death. I originally thought he had just realized what death was, but I don't think it's as simple as that now. I was wondering about the post about Ritalin and depression. Do you think a 13yr old is capable of being depressed? Are the signs the same as the ones for adults? Any suggestions of how I should communicate with his Dr. all of my concerns? Seems like once I get there, I forget my most important points I want to make- maybe I can write a list and bring it along. Again, thank you to everyone who answered! I'm so surprised that so many people cared enough to respond. I feel hopeful too that others have gone through this, and that there seems to be a solution for his condition. I'm still struggling with why he's like this though. I can't help but think I've failed him as a mother. What else can I tell him to reassure him? You were exactly right about him being ok at school because he has no control. Should I ask his Dr about checking his levels in his blood? Also, what's the kind of psych Dr that would be best? Psychiatrist or psychologist?
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Old 10-07-2014, 02:03 AM
 
Location: White Oak, Tx
22 posts, read 22,835 times
Reputation: 18
Oh and Hourglass- how old are you now? How old were you when you realized you couldn't control everything in your mother's life and her safety? Also I have a question about meditation-Jrzdefector? How do you meditate? What kinds of activities are good for him? He currently is on the football team at school, and he gets a lot of physical activity with that. His game was out of town last week and 2 hours away. We couldn't go because we didn't have enough gas, I just knew he'd be calling to have us pick him up, but I didn't call him first or race up to the school to get him. I waited and acted like he was going with his team. He called to say he was on the bus and was going to his game! I was shocked! I was so proud of him for going without crying and begging for us to follow the bus. I was thinking he's over this now. But, he said he didn't want us to go on that kind of trip, because what if we had a wreck on the way to his game? So, I see there's not a simple solution for his condition. I told him how proud me and his dad were that he conquered his anxiety that day at least. I guess this is going to be a long process. I asked a second time about him being referred to a counselor or Psychologist. There's probably not too many who take his insurance, but his Dr said it can take up to 6 months! That's so long! His behavior is starting to be real bad too, I'm not sure how to deal with that either. If his dad raises his voice to him, he immediately starts crying and seems so upset, but then the next day, he's right back to being disrespectful all over again. If he wants me around at all times and can't sleep in his room, why would he be acting so disrespectful towards his dad and I? We have never really spanked him, seems too late to start that now, how do I discipline him when I feel so sorry for him?
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Old 10-07-2014, 06:48 AM
 
14,068 posts, read 14,597,804 times
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There is a book called "Wherever You Go, There You Are" - it is something a kid your son's age could tackle. Mostly, when I meditate, I just sit somewhere quietly, cross-legged, and stare at a point and try to think about nothing. It takes a lot of effort, believe it or not. But it just settles you down. It settles me down so much, that I often just lay down and take a nap.

I've used meditation to deal with insomnia before. That and reading economics books.

There's another woman who has posted on this forum that she has taught her ADD 7-year-old breathing exercises. That might be a place to start and then move onto meditation. A teenager might not have the patience for full-blown meditation.

As for activities, if he's already in football, I'm not sure what else would help. When I'm running (if I get myself in good enough shape), I tend to feel calmer.

But a psychiatrist will help him find a suitable medication and give him mental tricks for talking himself down and reasoning through his thoughts.
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