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Old 10-10-2014, 11:54 PM
 
17,711 posts, read 15,685,541 times
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Bottom line, you're a leech. But if you are ok with that, godspeed.
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Old 10-11-2014, 08:55 AM
 
Location: St. Louis
10,061 posts, read 18,070,776 times
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Eh, I suspect that you're in that rut where you're trying to figure out your next direction. You figured out that the first one isn't going to work out for you and now you have the job of figuring out out the next part of your plan. I suspect that the values and lack of ideals of the first direction didn't appeal to you, so now you need to go in the direction of your values, after you define exactly what those are. It's ok to be where you are but I'd suggest you don't stay there too long or your self esteem will plummet and you will cause some serious stress within your family. Also, I doubt you will want to stay ummarried forever.
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Old 10-13-2014, 07:29 AM
 
11 posts, read 10,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by citylove101 View Post
My advice to OP is short, succinct, and probably harsh: Grow the f*** up.

Stop blaming your Mom for what you are and stop living off of her. (I suspect she has issues too, as most parents would not continue to support you so generously. She is not doing you any favors by doing so IMO.) You have to be an adult, act like one, and start supporting yourself. You have all the tools to do so. You will not get exactly what you want out of life at first. Most people don't and some people never get it at all. But a mature individual works for it, fights for it, and sometimes has to sacrifice for it by doing things they don't want until they can get the things they do want. So stop making excuses and worrying about what other people think and get off your a**.

I suspect you could also use some time on the couch -- or even medication -- because your "apathy" as you call it, may actually be clinical depression. Have you considered therapy? You should. And you have no excuse not to, as you have health insurance.

Until you begin having the self-respect that comes with self-sufficiency you will be a frustrated, unfulfilled, dependent, little baby in a grown person's body. And you'll stay that way until you die. So start moving now. Life is too short not to.


Alright cool, thank you for the advice. My only question is: why do for a long time something you don't want to do in order to eventually do things you do want to do? Seneca the Younger would argue that we are currently living our lives so it wouldn't make sense to initially devote 10 years to misery in exchange for 15 years of pleasure, for instance.
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Old 10-14-2014, 07:00 PM
 
17,711 posts, read 15,685,541 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by galaapple View Post
Alright cool, thank you for the advice. My only question is: why do for a long time something you don't want to do in order to eventually do things you do want to do? Seneca the Younger would argue that we are currently living our lives so it wouldn't make sense to initially devote 10 years to misery in exchange for 15 years of pleasure, for instance.
Yes, why save for retirement when you can spend all your money now?
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Old 10-14-2014, 07:53 PM
 
11 posts, read 10,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Yes, why save for retirement when you can spend all your money now?
I don't consider retirement related to my statement. Saving for retirement is not difficult. Working at a job that one hates, however, can suck the life out of one and motivate him or her to end an otherwise fine life. After one year of a miserable position in biotech, I felt I needed to leave and work in a coffee shop.

My statement relates to finding to no avail an adequate reason to work for more than a year in a job one hates.
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Old 10-16-2014, 06:51 AM
 
Location: Buxton UK
4,970 posts, read 4,799,707 times
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I can identify with you on a lot of levels. I have a good degree, and thought I might get a decent career. However, I am also autistic, and found out that I was unable to even hold down basic non-degree related jobs due to severe inter-relational problems with people in the work place (complicated!). There's nothing wrong with working in a coffee shop at all if you are OK doing it and get on with everybody. It's better than ending up unemployed for whatever reason.

Not all people have the desire for a "Lucrative career" and why should they? You create the life you want, and that is up to you. I don't need a high maintenance lifestyle with lots of material possessions and such things to be happy. It's actually more freeing inside to be a person who needs very little to get by. Also the best way to judge somebody is not by their job or their pay but by their attitude. There are some people in this thread who are quite nasty people judging by the contents of their contributions (no names). Somebody who thinks they are being helpful but I find it hard to believe the general disrespect and rudeness in their post - makes me think they write that way to feel powerful and big rather than out of genuine sincerity.
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Old 10-16-2014, 09:15 AM
 
1,430 posts, read 2,020,587 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by galaapple View Post
I don't consider retirement related to my statement. Saving for retirement is not difficult. Working at a job that one hates, however, can suck the life out of one and motivate him or her to end an otherwise fine life. After one year of a miserable position in biotech, I felt I needed to leave and work in a coffee shop.

My statement relates to finding to no avail an adequate reason to work for more than a year in a job one hates.
You're sucking the life out of your mom instead? Quite noble of you
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Old 10-16-2014, 09:17 AM
 
1,430 posts, read 2,020,587 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sicksburgh View Post
Here we go again. Yet another jaded, melancholy kid who swallowed every spoon-fed drop of advice from their baby boomer parents, only to "awaken" as a young adult and realize that it was all bull****. Here's the best advice I can give you...You can take it or leave it:

Underneath all of the garbage that exists in this society today, there is still a fundamental system of capitalism in place, and I suggest that you use it to your advantage. Start a small company and install gutter guards. Build retaining walls. Sell meat out of a refrigerated truck door-to-door. Buy a stump grinder and run an ad in the paper. Whatever. Who cares if you come home dirty if you're making six figures? Industries like this are where the money is. You like money, don't you? Why go to work for someone else in a cubicle dressed in a Men's Warehouse suit when you can get dirty during the day working for yourself and go out at night in a 3k Versace? I'm 36 years old and I've had a small business since I was 19 sealing asphalt parking lots and driveways. I sleep in everyday, sometimes only work 2-3 days / week, and I live way better than most of the people I know. I wouldn't trade what I do for anything. I get to spend tons of time with my family, answer to nobody at work, and have financial security. I live better than my boomer parents did in the 80's and 90's with ZERO secondary education.

STOP listening to baby boomers, including your parents. They grew up in a totally different world than the one that exists today. Their only relevance now is their spending power in the economy and their voting power. They don't know jack about what it's like to "make your way" in today's world. They made their way in the 80's making 100k / yr when a nice suburban home cost 100k and a new luxury car was 15-20k. They inherited the greatest economic conditions that this country has ever known. We don't live on the same planet as they do. They're relics of a bygone era that don't realize their place. Ignore them when they judge you or try to give you advice on anything. Especially financial / occupational / educational matters. They're clueless. Period. Respect your parents because they're your parents, but ignore them when they try to advise you based on their life experience when they were your age. As for other boomers, ignore them unless you're humoring them while they're writing you a check for your services.
Best advice! Please list more types of self-employment we can do
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Old 10-16-2014, 08:28 PM
 
839 posts, read 1,109,894 times
Reputation: 1674
Quote:
Originally Posted by sicksburgh View Post
Here we go again. Yet another jaded, melancholy kid who swallowed every spoon-fed drop of advice from their baby boomer parents, only to "awaken" as a young adult and realize that it was all bull****. Here's the best advice I can give you...You can take it or leave it:

Underneath all of the garbage that exists in this society today, there is still a fundamental system of capitalism in place, and I suggest that you use it to your advantage. Start a small company and install gutter guards. Build retaining walls. Sell meat out of a refrigerated truck door-to-door. Buy a stump grinder and run an ad in the paper. Whatever. Who cares if you come home dirty if you're making six figures? Industries like this are where the money is. You like money, don't you? Why go to work for someone else in a cubicle dressed in a Men's Warehouse suit when you can get dirty during the day working for yourself and go out at night in a 3k Versace? I'm 36 years old and I've had a small business since I was 19 sealing asphalt parking lots and driveways. I sleep in everyday, sometimes only work 2-3 days / week, and I live way better than most of the people I know. I wouldn't trade what I do for anything. I get to spend tons of time with my family, answer to nobody at work, and have financial security. I live better than my boomer parents did in the 80's and 90's with ZERO secondary education.

STOP listening to baby boomers, including your parents. They grew up in a totally different world than the one that exists today. Their only relevance now is their spending power in the economy and their voting power. They don't know jack about what it's like to "make your way" in today's world. They made their way in the 80's making 100k / yr when a nice suburban home cost 100k and a new luxury car was 15-20k. They inherited the greatest economic conditions that this country has ever known. We don't live on the same planet as they do. They're relics of a bygone era that don't realize their place. Ignore them when they judge you or try to give you advice on anything. Especially financial / occupational / educational matters. They're clueless. Period. Respect your parents because they're your parents, but ignore them when they try to advise you based on their life experience when they were your age. As for other boomers, ignore them unless you're humoring them while they're writing you a check for your services.
Very true.

But referencing the bold, everyone answers to someone. You answer to your customers don't you?
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