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Old 10-01-2014, 05:27 PM
 
11 posts, read 10,958 times
Reputation: 23

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I'd like to thank you in advance for your guidance and unsolicited help. Whenever I have previously posted in this forum, people have been helpful.

It's quite humorous to observe how far I have fallen. Essentially eight years ago, I was at the top of my high school class, and I had ambitions to go to a good medical school and become an orthopedic surgeon. Eight years later, with a college degree in hand (along with dropping out of a prestigious graduate school program), I am interviewing to work at a coffee shop. I forgot to mention that after grad school, I worked in a bakery before landing a job in a prestigious industry. One year later, I'm applying to the work in the same coffee shop from which I interviewed for the job in the prestigious industry. I became disinterested in the aforementioned job, so I left two days ago after providing my supervisor two months of notice. I have no interest in working in that industry ever again (it's the biotech/pharmaceutical industry).

Will things turn around? I doubt it. I have no ambition to have a successful and lucrative career. I frankly don't care what happens in the future. I have done and seen everything that I have ever wanted to do and see. I don't have a bucket list, but even if I did, all of the items would by now have a check next to them.

I would like to work for a few specific non-profits and have been applying for positions for several months, but since they don't want to hire me, I guess I'll just work in a coffee shop part-time. Working in a coffee shop is better than not having a job. Nonetheless, I will remain hopeful that one of the non-profits provide me any sort of work (paid or volunteer). Going back to graduate school is an option, but first I really need work experience in the discipline related to the non-profit work.

Why do we have jobs? Oh yeah, so we can pay for rent and other things. How about I work at the coffee shop part-time and reduce expenses? This way I can adequately live on the low salary. This way I can pursue interests outside of work (I will have plenty of time to enjoy my limited amount of time on this planet). Will this do? Yes, if not at least temporarily, then hopefully I can live this way forever.

Won't it look "bad" if I work in a coffee shop all of my life? Yes (to some people), but as long as I show my pride in working there, those people won't have the courage to criticize my choices.

Will I work in a coffee shop all of my life? Maybe, but does it really matter? I don't want children, I don't want to get married, and I don't have expensive habits or a lavish lifestyle.

Does it look bad that I am overqualified to work in a coffee shop? It only looks "bad" insomuch that I have a Bachelors degree and graduate education. It looks bad to those who have raised me with the vision that I will become a doctor or some other similarly paid professional. It's not my fault! You shouldn't have had me as a child if you wanted your dreams to come true, mom. I will never be a doctor, and I will live in your basement until at least the age of 27.

I'm also an apathetic person, if that helps you in determining what advice would benefit me the most. Thank you.
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Old 10-02-2014, 10:58 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 11,822,368 times
Reputation: 7879
We have in our midst a *very* smart person!

Good for you! You have figured out that "success" and "money" are not everything - that we can be much happier in life not chasing after those things!

You have also figured out you can do anything your little old heart desires, irrespective of what other people "think"!

So yes do get a part-time job at the coffee shop and reduce expenses. Good plan.

Note I once thought I should become a Vice President or CEO of some corporation. Thought I would really be someone if I did that... Well I got up to manager level and saw people working 80 hour weeks. Yes they had nice homes, cars and toys, but they were never at home to enjoy them! Later these people reach old age and die of a heart attack (due to all the stress).

So basically they spend their entire lives working and never relaxing or having any fun.

I have a whole lot better life making less money and walking my dog around the neighborhood - driving slower and letting people in a hurry pass me. I drove up a road the other day just to see where it went - turned out to be a beautiful drive!

Anyway good for you!
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Old 10-02-2014, 11:49 AM
 
3,838 posts, read 9,957,161 times
Reputation: 7612
Hey, my brother is a fully qualified civil engineer. When he needed health insurance, he looked around and decided he would enjoy being a mail carrier. He is very overqualified but likes his job and it gets him outside.
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Old 10-03-2014, 07:19 PM
 
316 posts, read 359,152 times
Reputation: 559
Quote:
Originally Posted by galaapple View Post
Does it look bad that I am overqualified to work in a coffee shop? It only looks "bad" insomuch that I have a Bachelors degree and graduate education. It looks bad to those who have raised me with the vision that I will become a doctor or some other similarly paid professional. It's not my fault! You shouldn't have had me as a child if you wanted your dreams to come true, mom. I will never be a doctor, and I will live in your basement until at least the age of 27.
Here we go again. Yet another jaded, melancholy kid who swallowed every spoon-fed drop of advice from their baby boomer parents, only to "awaken" as a young adult and realize that it was all bull****. Here's the best advice I can give you...You can take it or leave it:

Underneath all of the garbage that exists in this society today, there is still a fundamental system of capitalism in place, and I suggest that you use it to your advantage. Start a small company and install gutter guards. Build retaining walls. Sell meat out of a refrigerated truck door-to-door. Buy a stump grinder and run an ad in the paper. Whatever. Who cares if you come home dirty if you're making six figures? Industries like this are where the money is. You like money, don't you? Why go to work for someone else in a cubicle dressed in a Men's Warehouse suit when you can get dirty during the day working for yourself and go out at night in a 3k Versace? I'm 36 years old and I've had a small business since I was 19 sealing asphalt parking lots and driveways. I sleep in everyday, sometimes only work 2-3 days / week, and I live way better than most of the people I know. I wouldn't trade what I do for anything. I get to spend tons of time with my family, answer to nobody at work, and have financial security. I live better than my boomer parents did in the 80's and 90's with ZERO secondary education.

STOP listening to baby boomers, including your parents. They grew up in a totally different world than the one that exists today. Their only relevance now is their spending power in the economy and their voting power. They don't know jack about what it's like to "make your way" in today's world. They made their way in the 80's making 100k / yr when a nice suburban home cost 100k and a new luxury car was 15-20k. They inherited the greatest economic conditions that this country has ever known. We don't live on the same planet as they do. They're relics of a bygone era that don't realize their place. Ignore them when they judge you or try to give you advice on anything. Especially financial / occupational / educational matters. They're clueless. Period. Respect your parents because they're your parents, but ignore them when they try to advise you based on their life experience when they were your age. As for other boomers, ignore them unless you're humoring them while they're writing you a check for your services.
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Old 10-04-2014, 06:40 AM
 
6,035 posts, read 3,307,587 times
Reputation: 27038
How is it possible to work part time in a coffee shop and pay rent, own a cell phone, have a laptop (that is a necessity these days, isn't it?), have a car, car insurance, health insurance, have food on your table, etc?

I am not the best person to respond to this post. I am sure your mother and I could have quite the chat over coffee at the Coffee Shop you work at! One of my sons could have written this (including the part where he wants to work for a non profit). His lack of money is damaging our relationship. It is all well and good if you can afford your life on your own. He has a Bachelors Degree from a very well known private University. I could go on and on and on....

I will freely admit this grown up stuff is over-rated. If I could turn back the clock, I would have never wished to grow up. Sucks having to be responsible.
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Old 10-04-2014, 09:11 AM
 
11 posts, read 10,958 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
How is it possible to work part time in a coffee shop and pay rent, own a cell phone, have a laptop (that is a necessity these days, isn't it?), have a car, car insurance, health insurance, have food on your table, etc?

I am not the best person to respond to this post. I am sure your mother and I could have quite the chat over coffee at the Coffee Shop you work at! One of my sons could have written this (including the part where he wants to work for a non profit). His lack of money is damaging our relationship. It is all well and good if you can afford your life on your own. He has a Bachelors Degree from a very well known private University. I could go on and on and on....

I will freely admit this grown up stuff is over-rated. If I could turn back the clock, I would have never wished to grow up. Sucks having to be responsible.
I live with my mother, I am enrolled in her health insurance until the age of 26 (some employers also pay for health insurance of part-time employees), my relative donated me her car, my mother pays for our cell phone plans through a family plan, she pays for groceries, she includes me in her car insurance, and above all she is very generous with money since she has a good salary. I also have saved through the course of my life in order to pay for gym memberships, gasoline, car repairs, etc.
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Old 10-04-2014, 11:11 AM
 
6,035 posts, read 3,307,587 times
Reputation: 27038
Good for your Mom if she does not resent it. I am more than willing to help my sons as long as I feel like they are pulling their own weight.

It is too close to my situation with my son, I really need to be quiet! I don't know how to light the fire under him anymore. I have stopped enabling him.

I don't know your entire situation or your Mom. Anything like me, I would think she wants you to be at your potential. Making coffee is great--nothing wrong with that. I would think you have more to offer the world. And that you want more than a minimum wage job offers.

The job market sucks. I know my son gets tired and depressed of the rejection letters from potential employers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by galaapple View Post
I live with my mother, I am enrolled in her health insurance until the age of 26 (some employers also pay for health insurance of part-time employees), my relative donated me her car, my mother pays for our cell phone plans through a family plan, she pays for groceries, she includes me in her car insurance, and above all she is very generous with money since she has a good salary. I also have saved through the course of my life in order to pay for gym memberships, gasoline, car repairs, etc.
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Old 10-10-2014, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,322 posts, read 5,073,209 times
Reputation: 9781
OP, do you want advice? Are you satisfied (or at least not dissatisfied) w ur current life? It's fine example if you are. I can very much relate. All of my life I've had a flat affect. I have a graduate degree, and now do something similar yet different.

I've even considered buying a coffee shop since I really enjoyed working at them in high school. (Im about 10 yrs older than you. )


"I'm also an apathetic person, if that helps you in determining what advice would benefit me the most. Thank you."
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Old 10-10-2014, 02:03 PM
 
Location: New York NY
4,478 posts, read 6,733,232 times
Reputation: 9522
My advice to OP is short, succinct, and probably harsh: Grow the f*** up.

Stop blaming your Mom for what you are and stop living off of her. (I suspect she has issues too, as most parents would not continue to support you so generously. She is not doing you any favors by doing so IMO.) You have to be an adult, act like one, and start supporting yourself. You have all the tools to do so. You will not get exactly what you want out of life at first. Most people don't and some people never get it at all. But a mature individual works for it, fights for it, and sometimes has to sacrifice for it by doing things they don't want until they can get the things they do want. So stop making excuses and worrying about what other people think and get off your a**.

I suspect you could also use some time on the couch -- or even medication -- because your "apathy" as you call it, may actually be clinical depression. Have you considered therapy? You should. And you have no excuse not to, as you have health insurance.

Until you begin having the self-respect that comes with self-sufficiency you will be a frustrated, unfulfilled, dependent, little baby in a grown person's body. And you'll stay that way until you die. So start moving now. Life is too short not to.
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Old 10-10-2014, 04:32 PM
HDL
 
Location: Seek Jesus while He can still be found!
3,175 posts, read 6,182,767 times
Reputation: 8367
Thumbs up Best advice post that I've seen in awhile....

OP, if you're going to take any advice, I believe this post will help you the most in life !

Best wishes to you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by citylove101 View Post
My advice to OP is short, succinct, and probably harsh: Grow the f*** up.

Stop blaming your Mom for what you are and stop living off of her. (I suspect she has issues too, as most parents would not continue to support you so generously. She is not doing you any favors by doing so IMO.) You have to be an adult, act like one, and start supporting yourself. You have all the tools to do so. You will not get exactly what you want out of life at first. Most people don't and some people never get it at all. But a mature individual works for it, fights for it, and sometimes has to sacrifice for it by doing things they don't want until they can get the things they do want. So stop making excuses and worrying about what other people think and get off your a**.

I suspect you could also use some time on the couch -- or even medication -- because your "apathy" as you call it, may actually be clinical depression. Have you considered therapy? You should. And you have no excuse not to, as you have health insurance.

Until you begin having the self-respect that comes with self-sufficiency you will be a frustrated, unfulfilled, dependent, little baby in a grown person's body. And you'll stay that way until you die. So start moving now. Life is too short not to.
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