U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 10-05-2014, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Space Coast, FL
849 posts, read 208,383 times
Reputation: 670

Advertisements

Greetings! I am going through a divorce (together 25 years) and am devastated and practically paralyzed by depression and sadness.

In researching online about what I am feeling and upon much reflection of my life up to this point - am 47 - is I am clearly dealing with abandonment issues and trauma from the divorce and early childhood has been driving much of adult behavior both professionally and personally.

I found the symptoms described online:

Symptoms may be physical or mental including:

Alienation from the environment - withdrawal from social activities, resistance towards others.
Guilt - believes that he/she did something wrong that caused the abandonment (often associated with depression).
Fear and uncertainty - "clinginess", insecurities.
Sleep and eating disorders - malnutrition, starvation, disturbed sleep, nightmares.
Physical ailments - fatigue, drug and alcohol abuse, anxiety, depression, lack of energy and creativity, anger, grief.


That's me.

My question to is to those have been through the healing process. What did you do? What worked for you? What didn't? Suggestions for treatment?


Thank you for your replies.

Last edited by Forum_Newbie; 10-05-2014 at 09:24 AM.. Reason: Grammar
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-05-2014, 08:34 AM
 
Location: Florida
2,291 posts, read 5,112,829 times
Reputation: 5254
There is a book called "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, might be of some help to you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-07-2014, 05:44 PM
 
5,697 posts, read 5,607,719 times
Reputation: 1939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forum_Newbie View Post
Greetings! I am going through a divorce (together 25 years) and am devastated and practically paralyzed by depression and sadness.

In researching online about what I am feeling and upon much reflection of my life up to this point - am 47 - is I am clearly dealing with abandonment issues and trauma from the divorce and early childhood has been driving much of adult behavior both professionally and personally.

I found the symptoms described online:

Symptoms may be physical or mental including:

Alienation from the environment - withdrawal from social activities, resistance towards others.
Guilt - believes that he/she did something wrong that caused the abandonment (often associated with depression).
Fear and uncertainty - "clinginess", insecurities.
Sleep and eating disorders - malnutrition, starvation, disturbed sleep, nightmares.
Physical ailments - fatigue, drug and alcohol abuse, anxiety, depression, lack of energy and creativity, anger, grief.

That's me.

My question to is to those have been through the healing process. What did you do? What worked for you? What didn't? Suggestions for treatment?


Thank you for your replies.


join a support group I am a recovering alcoholic/ adult child of an alcoholic
there are some great 12 step programs out there
it was hard to face this stuff but well worth it!!
Al anon too is wonderful if you have ever been effected by someone else's drinking
I have been in recovery for over 16 years it is a process not an event
check them out and see where you fit!!
Feel free to send me a private message I am happy to share with you
good luck!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-07-2014, 05:45 PM
 
5,697 posts, read 5,607,719 times
Reputation: 1939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dollydo View Post
There is a book called "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, might be of some help to you.


good one!!
another great book is
The Road Less Traveled
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-08-2014, 10:20 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 11,739,466 times
Reputation: 7878
Sorry, but you will be miserable for 6 months. So might as well sit down and be miserable!

But the good news is time heals all wounds.

After 6 months or so, things start to pick up a bit. Maybe a stranger will say hi or something - make you feel good. So then try going out and meeting some new people.

Last edited by Billy_J; 10-08-2014 at 10:38 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-10-2014, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
6,312 posts, read 3,192,382 times
Reputation: 3104
I'm sorry to hear of your divorce and the pain you are going through. I've been through it and can empathise with you, having experienced the same pain. I don't have any useful advice because I didn't handle it very well. I had an additional burden added when my son took his life.

This began to drive me into depression so I increased my medication to the max. That helped but I was not making progress. What did help was a 'natural' antidepressant in the form of raw cashews (clinically shown to be as effective as prozac). Avocado seems to have made a difference too.

Just recently I have started taking a GABA boosting supplement (L-Theanine) and after a few days I seem to be free from anxiety and depression and my energy level is up a little but no miracles but comparing myself now to just two weeks ago, there is a significant improvement. So I will suggest good nutrition, cutting out sugar and refined carbs and taking therapeutic supplements.

Good sleep is essential, something I was not getting. One of my medications is a sleep promoting drug (doxypin - old school). Also cut out stimulants like coffee. I can't speak for medications but if you are depressed and stressed then you likely need help.

All the best to you,
Take care
303Guy
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top