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I have always been hypersensitive (physically, emotionally), and easily overstimulated as a child, but I'm now in my mid-twenties and it only gets worse as I get older. It might have something to do with the fact that I moved to NYC, but my hyper-awareness is starting to affect my life in negative ways and I'm not sure if this is a specific condition, or if there's anything I can do about it.
I'm extremely sensitive. For some reason being in a room with another person sucks the life force out of me. I've become somewhat of a hermit because being around people completely wrecks my nerves and wipes me out. I notice everything. Every facial twitch, eyebrow raise, waver of the voice jumps out and attacks me. I FEEL everything everyone else is feeling and it's exhausting. I notice tension between two complete strangers and I feel the tension myself. Being in a room full of people is not fun because I can feel all of those interactions passing through me, if that makes sense. It doesn't matter whether I know the person or not, it doesn't matter if it has anything to do with me. I feel it, and I can't separate it from me. It even happens with animals. On the flip side, I also "feel" other people's happiness and joy - but unfortunately most people are not very happy and so at the end of the day, I've absorbed more negative energy than positive.
This sensitivity extends into other things. Light, sound, etc. I'm a light sleeper, the slightest sound will wake me up, and any light entering the room will prevent me from sleeping. Loud noises scare me to the point of headaches and can give me severe anxiety. I've definitely annoyed my roommates with my constant nitpicking about their loud voices, or leaving the living room lights on all night. I have to seal the bottom of my door to prevent any light from seeping in or I will be up ALL night. My skin is also extremely sensitive and I can make myself break out into hives just by THINKING about them. I'm not sure how physical sensitivity relates to mental sensitivity, but I don't think it's a coincidence.
What the heck is going on with me? It is starting to consume me. I don't have insurance so I can't just "go to a doctor" as people like to say, but if anyone has any insight or can point me to the right direction, I'd like to find some support. Thankfully, I've been able to hide/manage this so that I appear "normal" to most people, and I have friends, but it's really hard keeping up with all of it because of these neuroses of mine. I find myself craving a drink at the end of the day just to block all the constant messages I'm getting. I don't have a drinking problem, but I could see it leading there if I don't find other ways to cope. I'm tired of being so consumed with everyone else's emotions. It's like I can't even exist anymore because everyone else's existence completely invades mine.
ETA: I wanted to add that this hyper-awareness is not like typical social anxiety where the person is hyperfocused on him/herself. Instead, I'm hyperfocused on OTHER people to a point that I AM that person - to a point that I don't really exist anymore. Does that make sense?
Hummm.... I once knew a psychiatrist who was fresh out of school and went to work at a state institution. Part of his job was to prescribe drugs to people who were totally "nuts" (dance around the room, talk to themselves, etc.)
Anyway he felt that before prescribing those drugs to other people, he should first try them himself. And he did. He said that those drugs made him feel "nothing". No feelings! No senses! He was a walking "zombie"!
Anyway your story above reminded me of that. Perhaps one of those types of drugs could be prescribed for you, but at a much lower dose? And maybe that would "dull your senses" a bit? (But you would still have some senses and still be able to function.)
I don't know if that can be done. Many times drugs can only be used for their intended use - not for something else - FDA rules and so forth.
But perhaps worth a try? A psychiatrist is one who can prescribe these types of drugs. Might call around and see what they say...
P.S. NYC is NOT the place I would be with such sensitivity! There are small rural towns which are quite friendly and peaceful. However they don't offer many jobs. But you might want to check around for that as well. Some small towns are near big cities - where you could go for shopping, medical treatment, and work. Consider public transportation if any medications you might take would prevent you from driving. Some small towns don't have any public transportation.
I am right there with you OP. I am just now in my 40s starting to realize what this condition really is all about and why I feel the way I do.
FIrst, good lord above, get out of NYC!! I can't believe you can even stand it. Now, don't get me wrong, LOVE the city, visiting that is, if I had to live there I'd surely lose it.
Second, find some books on the subject of hypersensitive people/highly sensitive. I am reading a book right now called "Quiet" something tag line about being an introvert in an extroverted world. I always thought I was an extrovert since I am pretty social and outgoing, but in reality I find I am a social introvert. When at a party, I despise mingling and small talk. I end up in a corner in some deep conversation with one person. That kind of thing.
Third, see if you can find a county services psych doctor for people with no insurance and see if you can get some meds...I have been taking low dose antidepressants forever it seems and if I didn't I'd have panic attacks constantly.
I always said I 'absorb' the energy of whoever I'm around. Never quite knew why but I am learning.
I recommend Sharon Heller's "Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight:What to do if you are sensory defensive in an overstimulating world" (2002).
Sensory processing disorders aren't well understood, and it can be hard to get people to take them seriously (as if it's some sort of question of willpower-it is not).
Link to article/overview- Help for Adult SPD
I also second the suggestion of "Quiet" by Susan Cain (which I read), about being an introvert, as that fits (and explains) me as well.
I recommend Sharon Heller's "Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight:What to do if you are sensory defensive in an overstimulating world" (2002).
Sensory processing disorders aren't well understood, and it can be hard to get people to take them seriously (as if it's some sort of question of willpower-it is not).
Link to article/overview- Help for Adult SPD
I also second the suggestion of "Quiet" by Susan Cain (which I read), about being an introvert, as that fits (and explains) me as well.
thanks from me for the suggestion of the first book...I am going to get it immediately as I'm almost done with "Quiet" and want more!
By the way, I absolutely LOVE your phrase under your username.
You might also try de-stimulating when you can. This can be accomplished by limiting media (TV, Internet, music, radio, reading newspapers and magazines) when it's not necessary for you. The onslaught of bad news, people's problems, homeless dogs, etc. does wear negatively on a sensitive person's mind.
Try taking a walk, being in nature, enjoying a bit of relative silence.
Hi,
I'm the author of Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight which is on hypersensitivity. I want to inform all of you of my new book Uptight & Off Center which is about all aspects of SPD and which focuses on the mental health issues involved in the dysfunction. It is available currently as an ebook on Amazon.
Here's the blurb.
Do you feel uptight and also off center - spacey, disorganized, confused, hyperactive, clumsy, impulsive, compulsive, distracted, or confusing left from right?
Do you also experience anxiety, depression, OCD or even depersonalization?
If so, you may have sensory processing disorder (SPD), a common, though relatively unknown condition in which sensory messages get scrambled in the brain and you cannot make accurate sense of or respond appropriately to your world.
"Uptight and Off Center" will help you discover the symptoms, causes and many treatments for SPD. It will teach you how to implement a sensory diet for your unique nervous system, along with mind-body interventions to get past a “nothing will work” attitude that, consciously or unconsciously keeps you caught in SPD’s lair. Both sensori-motor activities and mind-body interventions rewire your brain to enable you to take better control over your life. Over time, this will translate into being more balanced, upbeat, productive, energetic and loving in your life.
Hi,
I'm the author of Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight which is on hypersensitivity. I want to inform all of you of my new book Uptight & Off Center which is about all aspects of SPD and which focuses on the mental health issues involved in the dysfunction. It is available currently as an ebook on Amazon.
Here's the blurb.
Do you feel uptight and also off center - spacey, disorganized, confused, hyperactive, clumsy, impulsive, compulsive, distracted, or confusing left from right?
Do you also experience anxiety, depression, OCD or even depersonalization?
If so, you may have sensory processing disorder (SPD), a common, though relatively unknown condition in which sensory messages get scrambled in the brain and you cannot make accurate sense of or respond appropriately to your world.
This post^ might get removed for being advertising (though I hope not),
but I wanted to note that I have sensory problems (hyper-sensitivity) and thought this author's (Sharon Heller) previous book was great.
It's so rare for there to be anything about the sensory difficulties of adults-most books/websites are about children with these types of issues.
I really appreciated the book "Too Loud..." for tackling this not-often-addressed area (it's not merely "emotional", it's a real physical/neurological thing).
I think too many people, even in my field (behavioral health) are unaware of SPD (sensory processing disorder). Even though it's not a "disorder" by itself in the DSM (yet), it's clearly a constellation/cluster of symptoms that we see again and again in children, which persists into adulthood. SPD symptoms often get lumped in or attributed to an autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, or an organic brain disorder (many people with SPD suffered a stroke at birth). Some experience overstimulation, some have under-stimulation (can't feel pain like we do), and some have a combination.
My friend and her 12 year old daughter started a Facebook page "I have SPD" to try to teach people what it's like, from the point of view from a girl with the disorder, trying to function in the "normal" world with issues that others don't seem to understand. Fireworks, staircases, jewelry, textures, can cause severe anxiety and emotional reactions.
Maybe join her page and ask if any of your symptoms sound familiar? I would definitely check out the book cited above. Also, do some web searches on "SPD" or "sensory processing disorder" to find more resources that might help you. Even if you don't have SPD, the strategies and therapies that have been shown to be helpful to people with hypersensitive SPD might help you.
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Uptight & Off Center - new book on SPD
