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Old 10-14-2014, 08:23 AM
3,552 posts, read 4,549,125 times
Reputation: 3749


I often find that I get riled up/lose my temper more than I should. I would say that the most common occurrence would be at work. It's not bad enough to the point that I've ever been "talked" to about it, singled out, etc., but I do notice it getting out of hand occasionally, and it's something I would find very beneficial to my career and health to be able to control.

I will add, that when I lose my temper at work (I don't go crazy, but there's the occasional swearing, raised voice, etc.) that the people involved are usually my equals, and can often understand why I am frustrated. I work in the construction industry, so it's not like some calm office setting and swearing and such is common.

So, has anyone found things that really help? I've read tons of articles and some things I find help, but many also seem unrelated.

If I find something that really gets to me, I typically go in my office and calm down and breathe, prior to bringing it to other people. I also try and write things down, so if I need to bring them to other people I can try and stick to the points.

I tend to worry more than i should about things as well, which can lead to the reactions coming out more. I know I shouldn't worry about things in which I cannot do anything about at that point, it's just something I struggle with. In another sense, it probably is helpful for me to be successful in my job, as I'm less likely to forget things.
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Old 10-16-2014, 04:03 AM
Location: Texas Hill Country
11,440 posts, read 6,234,117 times
Reputation: 9520
I take it you are in Texas. Perhaps take up a marksmanship program at a range. The ability to calm the body (and hence the mind) so one can put rounds on target is a skill learned in marksmanship.
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Old 10-17-2014, 09:52 AM
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The thing is to "let it out more!", not try to "hold it back".

It is like a pressure cooker. If a little steam is constantly let out, pressure is regulated. If the release mechanism is clogged, then pressure can build up and there will be a big explosion!

So perfectly OK to tell people how you feel. tell them you are angry or mad - ticked off about something. Just do it more often and there will be fewer big explosions!

Note I once was supervising a guy installing a form to pour concrete for a back door pad. I kept trying to tell him that it needed to slope OUTWARD away from the door, for when it rains, so the water will drain AWAY FROM THE DOOR!!!!! (Not slope toward the door as he had it! )

I had to argue with him about thins until he got it. I did lose my temper after about 5 minutes of this.... I wonder why?
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Old 10-17-2014, 09:57 AM
35,107 posts, read 42,397,292 times
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Find something outside of work to release some of the energy, go to the river and throw rocks, go work out, go for a run, continue the breathing that you already do, carry a squeeze ball with you and squeeze it when you start feeling the frustration and anger.

The list is a great idea (I've been a list maker for many years), it may also help to keep a written Journal just for yourself.
Either get a special notebook and pen to use or put it on the computer but use it to write out all of the frustrations of the day.
Write whatever comes to mind, don't hold back anything because this Journal is for yourself only and no one else to read.
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Old 10-17-2014, 09:58 AM
35,107 posts, read 42,397,292 times
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A few more things, St. John's Wort is good to balance your mood if you don't mind taking a supplement and if you like hot tea,
Valerian with a wee bit of honey or Chamomile are both quite soothing.
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Old 10-17-2014, 06:27 PM
Location: Corona the I.E.
10,138 posts, read 14,714,565 times
Reputation: 9040
I get upset. In sales management and reps go at it from time to time.

I try to pause 5 seconds before responding to a angry comment thrown at me.

I take a walk around the block.

Most importantly, I try not take myself or others around me so seriously, and now I just laugh at them sometimes.
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Old 10-18-2014, 11:10 PM
Location: Chicago
607 posts, read 643,004 times
Reputation: 832
Good one per the pause....another option is to use a word as a trigger, something associated with good times in your past. Then just silently say the word, and daydream/blip out for 10 seconds. I use "Serenity" as the word and think of the beach. Everyone has their own "good/happy" place trigger word. Think of one and use it.
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Old 10-21-2014, 09:16 AM
399 posts, read 580,602 times
Reputation: 702
I've never heard of a 'happpy trigger' before. I love it! I'm definitely going to try this.
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