U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Old 11-23-2014, 01:18 PM
1,025 posts, read 1,040,011 times
Reputation: 1781


Originally Posted by Sunshinegirl7 View Post
we would still need to do all the work. my husband is afraid to rent it out because of trusting people not to trash it.
Since the house is in a safe neighborhood with good schools, I am sure you could find good solid renters who are looking for a nice neighborhood. I live close to the area you are talking about and there are responsible renters everywhere.

What kind of work has to be done for renters? You are living in the house, so I assume it is not falling apart.

Old 11-23-2014, 01:31 PM
239 posts, read 293,087 times
Reputation: 145
just painting and 2 bathrooms need updated since we removed wallpaper and it took texture off and toilet broke in one so we have to get floor and toilet replaced. My husband is doing work on the weekends since he works all week. He has been spending more time trying to comfort me since I am a mess. I can't stop repeating myself asking him over and over if we are gojng to be ok and if we can sell house and if it will sell for what we bought it for. I need constant assurement and that's why I am on here.

It's a 30 yr old house so I am worried things will start gojng wrong and we will have to keep paying for maintenance and if it was a small house I would be ok

Do u think I can resell it in Spring
Old 11-23-2014, 01:50 PM
1,025 posts, read 1,040,011 times
Reputation: 1781
I imagine if you sell so soon after purchasing, you may not make your money back. Can you afford that risk? If not, I would fix up what needs to be fixed right away and then either live in the house for a few years knowing it is only temporary or rent it to a nice family that wants a good neighborhood.

Stop worrying and find the things you do like about the house. It is a beautiful time of year in the Phoenix area, so take advantage of that. Get to know your neighbors and neighborhood. Walk around some of the lovely outdoor malls or parks we have here. You can't do that everywhere in December!

Maybe once you have settled in and changed a few things that bother you the most, you will find that the house isn't as bad as you think.
Old 11-23-2014, 02:16 PM
239 posts, read 293,087 times
Reputation: 145
I hope I can do that because right now I feel glued to the chair and like I need to fix everything and constantly wishing I was back at our rental that Incomplainrd about.
Old 11-24-2014, 06:08 AM
17,515 posts, read 15,544,305 times
Reputation: 39837
The problem isn't the house!

You need to calm down and give yourself time to settle in, and be sure to take your anxiety meds in the meantime.

Is this your first home purchase? I had remorse for both houses I have bought in my lifetime, but within 6 months they both felt like home and the more work we did on it, and the more I did with the garden, the more I fell in love. I have been in my "temporary" house now for 12 years. It was built in 1988 and all appliances were original. I am replacing them one at a time now that they are 35 years old, but none of them have broken down. Actually the quality of appliances from that era is way better than what you can get now!

Give yourself a chance. Choose colors you love. Make your own window treatments. buy some funky rugs and new linens.

Your husband sounds like a very patient man.
Old 11-24-2014, 06:23 AM
Location: New Jersey
1,831 posts, read 2,538,665 times
Reputation: 2672
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. It's never a good feeling. Maybe the house just needs a little TLC? I hope it works out for you.

I'm feeling a bit of the same sick feeling about a dog we just adopted. I can't stop asking myself if we made the right decision. Then I remember I felt this way with our first dog years ago. It's just me I guess.

Hope you feel better soon
Old 11-24-2014, 06:23 AM
Location: Florida
2,291 posts, read 5,115,276 times
Reputation: 5254
A thirty year old house isn't an antique, it will have most of the major code requirements covered. This all sounds like cosmetic work, not a biggie.

IMI it sounds like you have some major issues that may be helped by going to a mental health specialist, as, you pointed out that you didn't like living in the apartment either.

If you can't refocus your mind in a positive go forward manner, then, professional help may be the answer...it is not the house, it is you.
Old 11-24-2014, 02:57 PM
5,697 posts, read 5,609,722 times
Reputation: 1939
I do not think this is about the house either
you seem to be over reacting and really stressing out your family
do you have kids? if so what kind of feelings of fear must they be going through??
I like the one room happy room idea
also accept the fact that you are there if you rush you will make it much worse
get some therapy
just because you wish you had not done this does not mean it is the end of the world!!
get some meds if you need then but by all means get a grip
Old 11-24-2014, 03:20 PM
239 posts, read 293,087 times
Reputation: 145
my kids are young adults and support me on knowing Why I feel the way I do. I found out I may have overpaid for the house by $20,000. sorry but penny pinching for 7 years and saving the 20% I put on the house to find out I may lose a huge chunk of that really hurts. it's enough to cause depression because I have watched carefully every penny Inhave spent and always been smart with money until this purchase. I seriously thought I was getting a deal on house that's why I bought an undated house so I could make it my own and know I would get the money back but now I realize I overpaid. sorry but that would make anyone upset right?
Old 11-24-2014, 03:28 PM
Location: Kountze, Texas
1,013 posts, read 1,210,119 times
Reputation: 1267
You need to address your depression/anxiety - contact your Primary Care physician for an appointment NOW.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top