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Old 11-24-2014, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
7,734 posts, read 13,640,778 times
Reputation: 24701

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunshinegirl7 View Post
my kids are young adults and support me on knowing Why I feel the way I do. I found out I may have overpaid for the house by $20,000. sorry but penny pinching for 7 years and saving the 20% I put on the house to find out I may lose a huge chunk of that really hurts. it's enough to cause depression because I have watched carefully every penny Inhave spent and always been smart with money until this purchase. I seriously thought I was getting a deal on house that's why I bought an undated house so I could make it my own and know I would get the money back but now I realize I overpaid. sorry but that would make anyone upset right?
But OP, it sounds like you will only lose money if you try to sell it now (or soon) ... for right now, you can afford it, right? (Your situation kind of reminds me of stock market ups and downs -- you might show a loss, i.e. your stocks are worth less today than they were a year ago, but it's just a PAPER loss, unless you sell and "lock in" the loss.)

I also don't understand some of the monetary stuff you're writing about -- e.g., you thought you were getting a deal, but then you realized you weren't, and now you say you think you overpaid by $20,000. Where are you getting all this?! It doesn't make sense that it was a deal, then it wasn't, and now you overpaid by $20k. Take a deep breath, because I think your sense of reality is off when it comes to this house.

I love the idea of the "happy room." OP, clearly there were things about this house that appealed to you. Try to get some of those feelings back.

I wish you the best, as clearly you're going through a rough time right now.

 
Old 11-24-2014, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Florida
2,291 posts, read 5,136,309 times
Reputation: 5254
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunshinegirl7 View Post
my kids are young adults and support me on knowing Why I feel the way I do. I found out I may have overpaid for the house by $20,000. sorry but penny pinching for 7 years and saving the 20% I put on the house to find out I may lose a huge chunk of that really hurts. it's enough to cause depression because I have watched carefully every penny Inhave spent and always been smart with money until this purchase. I seriously thought I was getting a deal on house that's why I bought an undated house so I could make it my own and know I would get the money back but now I realize I overpaid. sorry but that would make anyone upset right?

Unless you immediately sell the house, you don't know if you overpaid or not. Presently, the worse case scenario, is that, you, right this red hot minute have a loss on paper... only. The real estate market is very fickle and the estimates you see on Trulia or Zillow, are just benchmarks, nothing more, those sites are loaded with blatant errors, so, if that is what you are looking at to come up with a value of your house you are on the wrong tract.

Update and make the house a home, right now it is only 4 walls that you are making excuses to get out of. Have fun putting your own touch on the home, sit on it for a few years and then reconsider selling it, you are obsessing about something that has no basis, and, this OCD behavior is just keeping you stuck, not allowing you to move forward on the improvements you feel this house needs.
 
Old 11-25-2014, 12:59 AM
 
6,035 posts, read 3,307,587 times
Reputation: 27038
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dollydo View Post
Unless you immediately sell the house, you don't know if you overpaid or not. Presently, the worse case scenario, is that, you, right this red hot minute have a loss on paper... only. The real estate market is very fickle and the estimates you see on Trulia or Zillow, are just benchmarks, nothing more, those sites are loaded with blatant errors, so, if that is what you are looking at to come up with a value of your house you are on the wrong tract.

Update and make the house a home, right now it is only 4 walls that you are making excuses to get out of. Have fun putting your own touch on the home, sit on it for a few years and then reconsider selling it, you are obsessing about something that has no basis, and, this OCD behavior is just keeping you stuck, not allowing you to move forward on the improvements you feel this house needs.
Excellent reply.

I get the feeling after reading all the posts that any house you would have purchase you would have felt the same.
 
Old 11-27-2014, 02:11 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,323 posts, read 20,094,005 times
Reputation: 18436
Default Consider yourself fortunate

I once was in San Jose, CA, and while waiting at a stop light, watched a man pushing a woman who was in a wheel chair. She had no arms and no legs.

Be thankful that you have this type of problem, and not something far, far worse.
 
Old 11-27-2014, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,553 posts, read 22,912,299 times
Reputation: 23786
Okay, take a deep breathe. I am in the same situation, and really understand where you are coming from. It sounds as if you need to have control over every situation and of not get upset.

Try writing down all the positive things in your life: you have a great family, house is a good location, you are a good person etc. Put these on post it notes around your house.

Don't worry about making updates in the house right away. Enjoy the space (the best you can). With time you can make updates here and there. Try to enjoy the moment.
 
Old 11-27-2014, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,553 posts, read 22,912,299 times
Reputation: 23786
Quote:
Originally Posted by LexusNexus View Post
I once was in San Jose, CA, and while waiting at a stop light, watched a man pushing a woman who was in a wheel chair. She had no arms and no legs.

Be thankful that you have this type of problem, and not something far, far worse.
It's all within a person their mental health. Yes, the OP could have it much worse. However this is very much affecting her, so remarks like this she knows.
 
Old 11-28-2014, 07:41 AM
 
239 posts, read 294,750 times
Reputation: 145
Thank you for being understanding. I need to get past this and fix it and have my life back. the fact that I have no control right now and can't fix it is making me breakdown harder. I really need out of tr house and to sell it to move on. problem is I was led to believe I got a deal on house so I let stained old carpet go, being completely outdated and now to find out I over paid. How will I sell it at the price I paid? I am at a 31,000 loss selling it at price I paid
 
Old 11-28-2014, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Deep 13
1,139 posts, read 941,109 times
Reputation: 3463
You need to talk to a professional about your feelings. Selling your house today even at a break-even point will not help you with future decisions and the results of them. If you are this upset now, how do you think you can make the right decision when picking out a rental? The cycle will not stop until you make it stop and there are people out there that can help with that. There may be medication involved, but think of it more as a seasonal allergy medicine - just something that you take to help you over a rough patch.

How do you know you overpaid? There must of been some sort of appraisal in order to secure the loan. How long did you plan on living in the house - was it more of a forever home or someplace till retirement? The longer you stay there, the better chance that the value of the house will go up.

How much control do you need? Is the monthly payment too much for your income or is it the amount of renovation that you want to do costs too much to be done all at once? A Harvest Gold stove cooks as well as a stainless one for the first year. If you are still money ahead at the end of the month, you have control. You said that you pinched pennies for 7 years to get the down payment; you might just need to pinch for a little while longer, but it is something that you know you can do.

You wouldn't have to rent it yourself. You can get a property management company to screen tenants for you as well keep tabs on them. There might be an upfront cost as well as a percentage of the rent, but that would be far cheaper than the loss that you think you will take if you sell. Once again, the longer you keep the house, the more chances you have to sell at the price that is beneficial for you.

***ADDITION***
Just did a little digging and saw your real estate postings. It will be a bit to go through the thread, but at first glance, it's like you are looking for reasons to add to your OCD. Find someone to talk to; internet friends can only do so much.

Last edited by Brucifer; 11-28-2014 at 09:08 AM..
 
Old 11-28-2014, 05:07 PM
 
239 posts, read 294,750 times
Reputation: 145
I can afford the monthly payment but the thought of now investing and fixing up the home has me disgusted. I really hate the house now because of everything that went wrong and now feeling like I overpaid. We only planned on being in the house for 5 years so it is pretty stupid of is to buy a fixer upper for the amount we spent. I don't think I will ever feel at home here and that's why I want out of here ASAP and it's going to upset me also to lose the money. I didn't realize how made ok had it at the rental until I made this bad decision.
I do have OCD and being in this house is making it far worse
 
Old 11-28-2014, 08:50 PM
 
Location: Deep 13
1,139 posts, read 941,109 times
Reputation: 3463
I'll leave the home improvement issues to your other thread. People might be able to help break down projects to help with your stress, but I'll try to keep my posts on topic as to your mental condition.

I understand that the Holiday Season will make things difficult as to being able to schedule a therapist as well as being a source of stress. What Holiday traditions do you have as to hosting in your home?

I have absolutely no qualifications as to dealing with psychological matters, but I do have a suggestion: while lying in bed, look at the ceiling and follow it down to the wall across to from the foot of your bed. This is your house; a collection of lumber, plaster, and paint that keeps the rain from ruining the material objects that you have collected.

Now turn your head and look at your husband; this is your home. This is the person you have pledged to support and be supported by for the long term. This is the investment you don't want to lose out on. The both of you have made sacrifices for the last 7 years and now it feels it was all in vain, but remember that the two of you persevered for that time and can survive this issue. You will need to be strong for each other as well for the months ahead. A weak person will be washed away with the details of doing a quick sale, but you have shown that the two of you have been strong for the last seven years. He is being strong for you with your dislike of the house, you need to be strong for him with his doubts. You will get through this together, but a clearer head will increase the chances of long term contentment.

Like I said, I am a compete amateur. Please keep us updated with talks with the professionals.
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