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Old 10-25-2014, 10:30 AM
 
239 posts, read 294,750 times
Reputation: 145

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I am an emotional wreck, we just moved into the house we bought and I hate everything about it, I don't know what happened to me, I thought this house was perfect for us, but now I think it's way too big, too expensive, needs way too many updates and I am finding things constantly that I didn't know about before and that wasn't caught on the inspection. I thought I got a deal on it because they wanted 27,000 more than we offered but now I am realizing with all the updates we need to do, I will never get the money back. We looked at houses since February this year. I found one that I thought was my dream house, all updated, cheaper, closer to the things we love but I backed out when I found out they lied to me about it being a flip, now I am in a house that needs so many updates and I am an emotional wreck. I am stressing my family out and I don't want to do that, but I don't know how to handle this. I put our whole life savings down on it to make the payment smaller and not have to pay a PMI. Has anyone else gone through with this?

The updates I need to do are the pool needs resurfaced, all bathroom fixtures, lights, knobs, cabinets, mirrors, floors, doors don't shut good, windows are original. Put it this way, everything is the original 1985 items. Comps put this house at 338,000 but we offered 315,000 because of updates, but now I feel like we should have even went lower. When it comes to square feet vs. comps, what amount do you go lower for updates? I need someone to help me focus and think more clearly, otherwise I am going to fall apart and I don't want to do that.

 
Old 10-25-2014, 12:04 PM
 
8,452 posts, read 3,711,114 times
Reputation: 6936
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunshinegirl7 View Post
I am an emotional wreck, we just moved into the house we bought and I hate everything about it, I don't know what happened to me, I thought this house was perfect for us, but now I think it's way too big, too expensive, needs way too many updates and I am finding things constantly that I didn't know about before and that wasn't caught on the inspection. I thought I got a deal on it because they wanted 27,000 more than we offered but now I am realizing with all the updates we need to do, I will never get the money back. We looked at houses since February this year. I found one that I thought was my dream house, all updated, cheaper, closer to the things we love but I backed out when I found out they lied to me about it being a flip, now I am in a house that needs so many updates and I am an emotional wreck. I am stressing my family out and I don't want to do that, but I don't know how to handle this. I put our whole life savings down on it to make the payment smaller and not have to pay a PMI. Has anyone else gone through with this?

The updates I need to do are the pool needs resurfaced, all bathroom fixtures, lights, knobs, cabinets, mirrors, floors, doors don't shut good, windows are original. Put it this way, everything is the original 1985 items. Comps put this house at 338,000 but we offered 315,000 because of updates, but now I feel like we should have even went lower. When it comes to square feet vs. comps, what amount do you go lower for updates? I need someone to help me focus and think more clearly, otherwise I am going to fall apart and I don't want to do that.
I would think the house is worth what you paid for it or it wouldn't have appraised at or near your price in order for you to get a mortgage.

I think you need to take a deep breath first. Then make a list of everything you think needs to be done and put it in priority order. Not everything needs to be done at once.

If you plan to be there for a long time, theres nothing to say you want get your money back by doing basic updates to things. Just keep it reasonable. Don't put a 100,000 new kitchen in a $200,000 house.

Some of these things sound like they could be lived with for a while. Floors.......put some nice rugs down. Windows.......caulk them and put nice window treatments up. Etc.

I don't know anyone who doesn't spend money adding/fixing things on a new house no matter what shape its in. There is always something.

Budget all your new expenses and decide how much you can afford to spend updating the house each year then tackle things one at a time.
 
Old 10-25-2014, 12:52 PM
 
4,787 posts, read 9,840,219 times
Reputation: 12675
First, try to calm down. Then think about what you're saying.

Your house is not even thirty years old. As houses go, that is not old. Much of what you are complaining about is someone else's taste. Certainly most of it can be changed to your liking if and when you get around to it.

I mean seriously- doorknobs, light fixtures, mirrors ? This is bothering you? Everyone changes these to their own preference at some point in time. It is nothing to stress over. This is meaningless.

Do the floors need to be redone or do you just want to do them? Then refinish them as you get to it. Why put in new windows if you don't need them ? A 29 year old kitchen is a modern kitchen. You can remodel it in the future to your liking.

Everything on your list is cosmetic except maybe for the pool. None of it has to be done right away. Most of it doesn't have to be done at all, except that it's not your taste. It's a many year, multi range plan. This would be typical of any home you buy.

You're still running purchase price, appraisal, good deal, etc. around in your mind. This is not healthy. Try to move past it. With the way you think, any house you bought would bother you tremendously. You found the perfect house but it being a flip turned you off . Makes no sense.

Maybe for the next year, forget about working on the house. Just enjoy the new location, make new friends in the area, explore. Remind yourself how much you're saving not having to pay PMI. It's said it takes a full year to get comfortable in a new home/new location. Give it time. Good luck.
 
Old 10-25-2014, 01:01 PM
Status: "The lesser of two evils is still evil." (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: City Data Land
16,283 posts, read 9,646,540 times
Reputation: 31688
I agree with willow wind. Calm down and don't freak out. Every home needs fixing up, even brand new ones. My gf is a home inspector, and she has told me all about how every home needs at least a little improvement. You can work on things a little at a time. There must have been something you liked about the home, otherwise you wouldn't have bought it in the first place. You got a good deal on it since the bank financed you. As you get the repairs, get a few estimates on each so you can be sure you are getting a good price. Since you plan on staying there a few years (hopefully), you will the ability to improve it gradually over time. Good luck!
 
Old 10-25-2014, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
6,311 posts, read 5,136,406 times
Reputation: 13829
This is very normal thinking for first time homeowners. Updates are generally cosmetic and there are tons of cleaver things you can do to freshen a home that are not expensive. New windows are generally a bad investment and the house is from 1985; new windows are not a necessity. If they are "foggy" they can be repaired by a window company by replacing one of the panes. Very inexpensive.

Bathroom fixtures should work, right?? Updates are not needed. If you have the space and location, all will be good over time. Really, chill out! You did like the house when you made the offer. You will like it again.
 
Old 10-25-2014, 05:06 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,418 posts, read 46,693,254 times
Reputation: 94784
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunshinegirl7 View Post
I am an emotional wreck, we just moved into the house we bought and I hate everything about it, I don't know what happened to me, I thought this house was perfect for us, but now I think it's way too big, too expensive, needs way too many updates and I am finding things constantly that I didn't know about before and that wasn't caught on the inspection. I thought I got a deal on it because they wanted 27,000 more than we offered but now I am realizing with all the updates we need to do, I will never get the money back. We looked at houses since February this year. I found one that I thought was my dream house, all updated, cheaper, closer to the things we love but I backed out when I found out they lied to me about it being a flip, now I am in a house that needs so many updates and I am an emotional wreck. I am stressing my family out and I don't want to do that, but I don't know how to handle this. I put our whole life savings down on it to make the payment smaller and not have to pay a PMI. Has anyone else gone through with this?

The updates I need to do are the pool needs resurfaced, all bathroom fixtures, lights, knobs, cabinets, mirrors, floors, doors don't shut good, windows are original. Put it this way, everything is the original 1985 items. Comps put this house at 338,000 but we offered 315,000 because of updates, but now I feel like we should have even went lower. When it comes to square feet vs. comps, what amount do you go lower for updates? I need someone to help me focus and think more clearly, otherwise I am going to fall apart and I don't want to do that.
You just need a reality check.

Nothing you've mentioned is even close to a deal-breaker, and "pool needs resurfacing" comes VERY close to first world problems.

Just understand that you bought a house that is not brand new, and you need to live with these "outdated" fixtures for a while and do what most homebuyers do: Save up and replace them when you can afford them.
 
Old 10-25-2014, 05:22 PM
 
Location: here
24,843 posts, read 31,369,719 times
Reputation: 32494
Take one thing at a time. Some of those things are wants, not needs. Prioritize and do the needs one at a time, then think about the wants.
 
Old 10-25-2014, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 90,937,721 times
Reputation: 39977
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunshinegirl7 View Post
I am an emotional wreck, we just moved into the house we bought and I hate everything about it, I don't know what happened to me, I thought this house was perfect for us, but now I think it's way too big, too expensive, needs way too many updates and I am finding things constantly that I didn't know about before and that wasn't caught on the inspection. I thought I got a deal on it because they wanted 27,000 more than we offered but now I am realizing with all the updates we need to do, I will never get the money back. We looked at houses since February this year. I found one that I thought was my dream house, all updated, cheaper, closer to the things we love but I backed out when I found out they lied to me about it being a flip, now I am in a house that needs so many updates and I am an emotional wreck. I am stressing my family out and I don't want to do that, but I don't know how to handle this. I put our whole life savings down on it to make the payment smaller and not have to pay a PMI. Has anyone else gone through with this?

The updates I need to do are the pool needs resurfaced, all bathroom fixtures, lights, knobs, cabinets, mirrors, floors, doors don't shut good, windows are original. Put it this way, everything is the original 1985 items. Comps put this house at 338,000 but we offered 315,000 because of updates, but now I feel like we should have even went lower. When it comes to square feet vs. comps, what amount do you go lower for updates? I need someone to help me focus and think more clearly, otherwise I am going to fall apart and I don't want to do that.
Let me guess, you are prone to emotional highs and lows right?

BREATHE lol.

You are just experiencing some self doubt, but it will pass.

And frankly, it's too late now to do anything but just relax and allow yourself to love your new home.
 
Old 10-25-2014, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Dover, DE
1,957 posts, read 4,023,969 times
Reputation: 3043
What everyone is saying is correct. Calm down and slow down. Not all needs to be done right away. In 1979 we bought a 2 year old house that had the most awful orange laminate countertops and dark pine cabinets in the kitchen and horrible shag carpets everywhere other than kitchen and bathroom, which had ugly kitchen carpet. It took us 10 years to update the kitchen and to finally get rid of all the carpets. And guess what......we lived with it until we were able to get it done a little at a time! We were in that house 20 more years after that. Unless it is something that is dangerous to health or home, it is not an emergency. Do things slowly and do them well and you will be happy. If you do a lot in a hurry then you will probably try to do things cheaply and you will not be happy with them. Paint, window treatments and rugs will cover a lot of things until you get to them.

Even brand new homes "need" work! We have been in this house for 6 years and have done a lot of things to it. Now we will be moving to another brand new house next May and already we are thinking of what we want to change. But we will take our time and do the things in the order that we feel is necessary to make our lives easier. Other items will be done as we can.
 
Old 10-25-2014, 06:54 PM
 
48,509 posts, read 86,683,370 times
Reputation: 18115
Only thing you can do is put it on market; pretty simple; really.
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