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Old 11-04-2014, 02:26 AM
 
10 posts, read 15,127 times
Reputation: 38

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I'm freshly turned 22 and I'm losing hope on life. I'll go back to 2011 the year I graduated high school from high school 2007-2011 I didn't have much of a life I never went anywhere but school and home for four years I didn't even know what stores or places look like I didn't know what Target even looked like. I have a single parent Mother who doesn't drive so I didn't go out or have access to transportation. I was never asked to hang out with friends. I also had a responsibility of taking care of my sick Grandfather and helped my Grandmother with him so I never could leave home and so I never did any senior activities and wasted my senior year. I also have very bad social anxiety. The first six months out of high school were fine until 2012 my Grandfather passed away and it hasn't been the same since my family has gotten worse. I live a block away from all of my cousins and we never talk hang out or see each other. All of us hate each other because of there parents and there really self centered during the holidays I have to sit in the movies or a star bucks all day so I have a depressing Christmas and Thanksgiving my Mom comes with me since I drive and she can't take our family either. I live with my Grandmother so everyone comes over and everyone sees each other for the first time n a whole year and we only live a block away it always end up with an argument and people talking **** about each other so I rather spend it somewhere else. I would volunteer at a place but I would have to drive a hour away so I just go to any place open that day. From 2012 to now I been having a hard time finding a job and getting my life together I have no money and been to a ton of job interviews I quit jobs because of being treat unfairly and the pay wasn't as great I haven't the right job and have never owned a cellphone. I have no friends and can't make friends because I have no job and can't go anywhere because I have no gas money and don't go to school because I have no money and I don't want to go until I work hard and help my Mom out with money and establish myself first. I been trying hard bit have gotten no where my family talks about me being a bum and a loser my cousins all have jobs but never help me out. I'm different than them because I don't live the instagram life like them and am more generous and caring than them. I just can't keep repeating year after year the same I never see people my age where I live there's not too many places to make new friends. I just can't keep going anymore TV is the only thing keeping me going wanting to find out what happens next on my shows. My life has felt very grey and emotionless the past couple years and have never had fun ever in my life or excited about life I get really depressed in November and December because of the Holidays I just want to have good people in my life. I can't take my family and being alone all I have is my Mom my depression has gotten worse and I just want life to get better I'm trying but I'm seeing no results. I'm worried I'll never have a girlfriend someone I can be close to and fall in love with and trust and be happy with. DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO CAN'T TAKE THIS LIFE ANYMORE.
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Old 11-04-2014, 05:36 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,322 posts, read 5,073,209 times
Reputation: 9781
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Just keep breathing and visualizing the future you want to have.

Don't hesitate to use your local suicide hot lines found online if needed. Or call 911 if you cannot stop any urge to hurt yourself.
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Old 11-04-2014, 01:55 PM
 
5,697 posts, read 5,627,315 times
Reputation: 1939
have you tried some therapy?
maybe you just need to have some help sorting out some of this stuff
also try some volunteering some where with what interests you
do not give up
it is hard to be young in the crazy world where most people are self obsessed
this will pass but death is forever!!
you have a lot to offer, you just have not found that out yet
do not compare yourself to others!
hang in there!!
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Old 11-04-2014, 02:22 PM
 
Location: sumter
9,644 posts, read 6,113,178 times
Reputation: 7058
Have you ever put any thought into the military, navy or air force in particular. It will help you build character, earn money, meet new people, get away from family, learn new skills, see the world, and feel good about yourself, that sure beats ending your life. But for now, seek professional help as soon as possible. Sound like you really need somebody to sit down and talk with you about things. If I could give you a hug through the computer it would be done already, don't give up on life until you have given it your very best. Plus, you are no good to your grandmother if you hurt yourself. I'm sure she loves you and that could kill her if you do something like that.
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Old 11-04-2014, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Herndon, VA
2,203 posts, read 2,382,540 times
Reputation: 8131
It's not for everyone for obvious reasons, but the military can be a good start for people with no college or job prospects. I couldn't afford school (my parents weren't able to help either) and was working as a cook in a restaurant, and the military was the best thing I could have done. It led to my college degree, and my life is incredible in no small part due to my military service.
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Old 11-04-2014, 02:44 PM
 
Location: sumter
9,644 posts, read 6,113,178 times
Reputation: 7058
As a military veteran, I certainly know it is not for everybody. But it is only a suggestion to a young person who have lost hope with life. It was a great experience for me as well and as stated above, it is also a way to go to college and earn a degree.
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Old 11-04-2014, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Honolulu
1,400 posts, read 1,705,341 times
Reputation: 3511
I can relate, kind of. I basically went through high school as a borderline recluse. My first year I pretty much had zero friends, by the end of high school I had a few, although I never really went out much, and never went to my prom. I don't think I have any anxiety problems but what I did have back then was severe acne. I make no exaggeration when I say my acne severely hindered my social life and caused me to be depressed and lack confidence. I blame most of my social woes at the time on my acne. I wanted to hang out with friends and be social but my self-consciousness about my condition never allowed me to. I literally tried to hide my face at times, not wanting to look people in the eye because of it. For this reason, my social development was delayed and I never did many things that normal high schoolers do. I never went to prom or joined clubs or even hung out much with anyone outside of school, never learned how to socialize with others too much. I'm okay now but it took me a long time to learn how to make friends and socialize with people.

While my situation isn't exactly the same as yours I will give you some advice from someone who has gone through feeling depressed without any hope of friendships or relationships. It's up to YOU to make a change. If you continue what you're doing, nothing will change, including the way you feel. You have to figure out what you want to do, make a plan, and follow through on that plan. You may have to venture outside your comfort zone to do it. Even if someone is family, I'd say don't love them if they don't love you back. You'll only be holding yourself back if you do. Therapy is one option but sometimes it's your situation that makes you depressed, like it did for me when I was your age. It's hard for me to give you an exact blueprint to get yourself into a better situation but if you have specific questions I'd be happy to try to answer them for you.
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Old 11-04-2014, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 90,937,721 times
Reputation: 39977
Quote:
Originally Posted by KidFlash View Post
I'm freshly turned 22 and I'm losing hope on life. I'll go back to 2011 the year I graduated high school from high school 2007-2011 I didn't have much of a life I never went anywhere but school and home for four years I didn't even know what stores or places look like I didn't know what Target even looked like. I have a single parent Mother who doesn't drive so I didn't go out or have access to transportation. I was never asked to hang out with friends. I also had a responsibility of taking care of my sick Grandfather and helped my Grandmother with him so I never could leave home and so I never did any senior activities and wasted my senior year. I also have very bad social anxiety. The first six months out of high school were fine until 2012 my Grandfather passed away and it hasn't been the same since my family has gotten worse. I live a block away from all of my cousins and we never talk hang out or see each other. All of us hate each other because of there parents and there really self centered during the holidays I have to sit in the movies or a star bucks all day so I have a depressing Christmas and Thanksgiving my Mom comes with me since I drive and she can't take our family either. I live with my Grandmother so everyone comes over and everyone sees each other for the first time n a whole year and we only live a block away it always end up with an argument and people talking **** about each other so I rather spend it somewhere else. I would volunteer at a place but I would have to drive a hour away so I just go to any place open that day. From 2012 to now I been having a hard time finding a job and getting my life together I have no money and been to a ton of job interviews I quit jobs because of being treat unfairly and the pay wasn't as great I haven't the right job and have never owned a cellphone. I have no friends and can't make friends because I have no job and can't go anywhere because I have no gas money and don't go to school because I have no money and I don't want to go until I work hard and help my Mom out with money and establish myself first. I been trying hard bit have gotten no where my family talks about me being a bum and a loser my cousins all have jobs but never help me out. I'm different than them because I don't live the instagram life like them and am more generous and caring than them. I just can't keep repeating year after year the same I never see people my age where I live there's not too many places to make new friends. I just can't keep going anymore TV is the only thing keeping me going wanting to find out what happens next on my shows. My life has felt very grey and emotionless the past couple years and have never had fun ever in my life or excited about life I get really depressed in November and December because of the Holidays I just want to have good people in my life. I can't take my family and being alone all I have is my Mom my depression has gotten worse and I just want life to get better I'm trying but I'm seeing no results. I'm worried I'll never have a girlfriend someone I can be close to and fall in love with and trust and be happy with. DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO CAN'T TAKE THIS LIFE ANYMORE.
There is help for you, but you have to make the decision to seek it!

Life is precious and it can be so much more enjoyable than you are able to feel right now.

Lots of people get stuck like you have but it doesn't mean the rest of your life has to look like this okay?

If you don't have any insurance and can't afford to see a doctor, call your local United Way - dial 311 in most cities. They can direct you to folks who can help you on a sliding scale for very little cost.

You CAN get better, but you really have to make the choice to do it. I hope you will!!
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Old 11-04-2014, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Corona the I.E.
10,141 posts, read 14,811,085 times
Reputation: 9045
Hi I am sorry you are feeling so down. Please call 1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

If you are worried about being honest and having them call the cops on you call them from a VoIP/Skype and then you can really let er rip without being tracked down.

My friend with BP1 calls from time to time, she has really good things to say about them. They have referrals and it's great for her to vent.

Please give it a try.
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Old 11-05-2014, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
27,845 posts, read 26,448,443 times
Reputation: 34841
Someone cares. You may not realize who cares, but someone does.

My son's high school friend called a few hour ago--haven't seen him in a while--left voicemail and said that he was very depressed and asked if he could come to the house. We tried calling and texting for some time, but he never got back to us. He lives with his mom and sister, but doesn't really get along with either of them.

While he has a rather checkered background, he's always welcome in my house. He's a rather sensitive and very talented guy. I like him. I was waiting to feed him and tuck him into bed, not that he'd fall asleep.

I don't think that I'll sleep tonight.

Last edited by Gerania; 11-05-2014 at 11:04 PM.. Reason: what the...
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