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Old 11-24-2014, 10:52 PM
 
3 posts, read 2,056 times
Reputation: 13

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I feel stuck. I'm a 22 year-old college student. I've been diagnosed Bipolar I since 2010, though from 2011 on I was getting better. Job, girlfriend, family support, got my AA. Now I'm four months into living on my own at university, and have fallen into depression. No job, no gf, it's hard to talk to family because I didn't need to lean on them then so I can't bring myself to do it now.

I don't want to keep studying Business, but I need to satisfy my parents and accomplish something for all this time spent. I want to find a purpose, but when I see my studies and plans and social opportunities come and go I feel like I'm wasting time. I fantasize about stopping, but worry that then I'd go from being an unmotivated student to an unmotivated wanderer. Would I even last as a wanderer, which my condition? Probably not.

I want to find the motivation to tame my depression, but I just want to oversleep and not face the day lately. I can remember feeling similar to how I feel now in high school, like I am just waiting for an epiphany to come motivate me.

I want to find a reason I'm depressed. I don't want to just be an endogenously depressed person. I've had social anxiety since I was in 5th grade, which was when my parents divorced. It didn't feel like it affected me at the time, but looking back I guess it did. But can it explain me becoming the way I am? And could I ever become outgoing, or just consistently comfortable in social settings?

Sorry, this is rambles and brambles. I just can't think straight right now. I'm about to go home a day early, which'll throw me behind a bit in school. I tell myself that I'll catch up, that I'll find myself during this extended weekend. But I know from experience that there's a good likelihood that that the next few days could be unproductive and lonely.

On top of that, it's Thanksgiving time. I have so much to be thankful for. My parents and my brothers are alive. I'm young. I've got all my limbs and all my senses. I'm in one of the safest and most beautiful parts of the world. So much more, so much....and I'm stuck in this place of thanklessness

What do you think I can do now, to start to get unstuck?




Thanks for any thoughts,

John
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Old 11-25-2014, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
6,253 posts, read 5,046,465 times
Reputation: 13687
You will experience these feelings many times in your life. During periods of boredom or a sense of lost purpose, we all go thru this. I will advise you to recognize this is not uncommon and there are a few things you might consider.

*Recognize we all have these times and you will have to tell yourself just to hang in there
*Realize this is a signal that you need direction and purpose in your life and its up to you to find even temporary solutions as you plow thru the path you are on. That means get involved in some project. Even if it means buying a model airplane and constructing it, painting your Mom's bathroom, whatever...... any focused action is helpful!
* Don't make any dramatic decisions when you are in this state. Don't change your major, drop out of school, hook up with wild people, etc. Just make one or two moderate changes. Example: start an exercise routine, review your food intake and see if you should adjust your nutritional balance, volunteer at the food bank or other community thing for one or 2 events (no long committment), take a community rec center class, etc.
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Old 11-25-2014, 08:47 AM
 
14,225 posts, read 15,309,339 times
Reputation: 12042
get through school as best you can. life can take you in all kinds of directions, so what you are doing and feeling now won't always be what is happening. you could study to be a doctor and find even after all your education in that direction you find working outdoors or some other pursuit to be more of who you really are. try to look forward to your future. find a hobby that makes you passionate for it. meeting new people and finding a partner will also help. it is always nice to have someone to share with. hang tight and do your best to think positive.
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Old 11-25-2014, 09:59 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 11,737,492 times
Reputation: 7878
It sounds like things were better before living on your own?

Were you living with your parents then? Perhaps you can move back and continue to go to college?

Make things like they were in 2011 (as much as you can).
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Old 11-25-2014, 01:10 PM
 
3 posts, read 2,056 times
Reputation: 13
Thanks for taking the time out, guys. This is all great advice.

WorldKlas, I admit I'm too self-centered when I'm down. We all go through this - you're right.

I'm going to find a volunteer opportunity and start on a project, in due time, two things I've been putting off too long.

hothulamaui, I barely know the first thing about relationships. I'll to be as sharing as I can in friendships, because you've reminded that that's what I miss most about my relationship.

Billy_J, what I'll try to stop doing is comparing myself to guys who are more successful than me in some way, because in 2011 I didn't do that, I was just glad to be out of inpatient care and in school.
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Old 11-25-2014, 01:11 PM
 
3 posts, read 2,056 times
Reputation: 13
Thanks for taking the time out, guys. This is all great advice.

WorldKlas, I admit I'm too self-centered when I'm down. We all go through this - you're right.

I'm going to find a volunteer opportunity and start on a project, in due time, two things I've been putting off too long.

hothulamaui, I barely know the first thing about relationships. I'll try to be as sharing as I can in friendships, because you've reminded that that's what I miss most about my relationship.

Billy_J, what I'll try to stop doing is comparing myself to guys who are more successful than me in some way, because in 2011 I didn't do that, I was just glad to be out of inpatient care and in school.
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