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Old 01-01-2015, 11:15 AM
5 posts, read 5,406 times
Reputation: 11


Hi, after a lot of research and talking with some psychologist I came to the conclusion that I steam from a coveted narcissistic family; however, I am not dead certain 100%. At my 42 y/o and still unable to lead a life out of them (recent moved to the U.S. [8 yrs]) and having to stand them again being jobless and dealing with adrenal issues at the same time that all made me feel worn out. According with everybody especially my psychologist, who I don't talk with anymore, I should burn my bridges asap; however, I still don't find that outside is being attractive enough to make a decisive decision: drugs, trash people, and that annoying 'every man for himself" attitude in this country. Everybody is paddling their own canoe here. The individualism is seen as an "value" here and that's something I still unable to deal with. I really need to feel that I make part of something but I just can't find it. Not to mention my economy sucks and not able to find a stable job, but trying to do my things online even though.

My real thing is I really hate the system from the U.S. which is totally opposite from the place I came from At the first time it looked attractive for all the hype propaganda that's being sold abroad from here, but after have dug up in deep it turned out it's not what it was pictured to me. I feel empty, nonsensical, and without a clear path to take. I have the opportunity to study another career here in the U.S. but guess what. Pretty undecided. I like to help people so I kind of bended to the psychology, social work choice but was easily discourage for the amount of time/money invested without possibly able to pay the loan since they both are not booming careers at present. Then thought about being a nurse as second option but same thing. Lost interest since I don't see myself dealing with human fluids. I just want a three year career in the health system for the money and maybe I'll start to love it with the time... I have other ambitions on the online spectrum which I consider pretty new but still hard to dominate. My older brother do is doing well on this field since he already studied but had to pay a good arm and leg for this. At my age not having too much choices anyway, but still positive. I feel totally passionless for everything at this point of my life. No friends, no job, and feeling trapped in my own house. But when I feel something that really entices me I will be your best passion lover ever, but my eternal problem is simply I just don't know for what I was born to. I have ridiculous asked this question to clairvoyants that gave me some cues without something real clear-cut way. (I know someone with this real gift but pretty expensive). My psychologist was amazing and helped me in several aspects especially in the emotional enmeshment thing from family but still unable to find my way in the outside world as stated before.

Despite the popularity in America of being independent, I've read the opposite opinion stating that living the parents house was another artificial need coined by real state to "move" the market. And because the economy sons were coming back to live with their parents again, so being independent with low income is not smart. And I said,.. yes, it makes sense.

Maybe it would help the fact I am struggling with same sex attraction issues that I DON'T WANT to feel anymore. I know most psychologist out there are pro-gay but I don't want that in my life. So.. this also sum ups to the issue.

I have to ad that I feel I bit betrayal telling this things about my family because no matter what they are I still love them... I sometimes try to feel near to them but then it jump to my mind those lines from these books and kind of back off again.. not sure..I have problems to differentiate what's manipulation and when it's a real help petition from my family.

Any thoughts on this please?

Last edited by Angevil; 01-01-2015 at 12:07 PM..
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Old 01-01-2015, 02:11 PM
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
6,311 posts, read 5,136,406 times
Reputation: 13829
You can live with and depend on your family. Don't let hype discourage you from having strong family ties. And it really can be damaging to label familes in any pop psychology terms like "narcassistic." Just love your family and learn techniques to manage behaviors of others that upset or frustrate you.

I think you may be better served to get career counseling instead of seeing a psychologist.
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Old 01-03-2015, 07:06 PM
5 posts, read 5,406 times
Reputation: 11
thank you.. I appreciate your point of view.. and I am afraid of not having a good life as a counselor .. just my opinion.. ty.
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Old 01-03-2015, 07:25 PM
4,761 posts, read 11,822,368 times
Reputation: 7879
Sounds like you are from a different country. And that also sounds like a different "culture". Perhaps you can find groups of people here from that same country? Maybe they have get-togethers, a club, or maybe live in a certain area or city?

For example they have "Italian American" clubs. They have regular social gatherings. Some larger cities have neighborhoods made up mostly of certain ethnic groups.

Some churches are specific to people from a certain country. Might meet some like minded people there.

Anyway might cheer you up a bit to be around other people with your same background, just a matter of finding them. May want to try asking the embassy for your country in Washington D.C.

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Old 01-06-2015, 05:30 PM
5 posts, read 5,406 times
Reputation: 11
I hear you but my people sadly are pretty self centered. They kind of forgot what they used to be here.. ty.
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Old 01-11-2015, 08:27 AM
Location: Dallas TX
15,553 posts, read 22,912,299 times
Reputation: 23786
Can you go back to your country? If you hate the U.S. So much, perhaps you need to return to your roots to find happiness.
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Old 01-11-2015, 09:54 PM
Location: Purgatory
6,322 posts, read 5,073,209 times
Reputation: 9781
What country are you from and what is different?
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