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Old 06-14-2015, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Seattle, Washington
8,435 posts, read 9,012,846 times
Reputation: 1701

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Originally Posted by jessiewhit View Post
Thanks for the advice katjonjj. I don't take her phone calls, this is all happening over facebook and email. I did call her on one thing, she told me I could go live in France for a month and farm in exchange for room and board. I said to her "why don't you go, nothing is holding you back." She said oh I am going as soon as I do x, y, z. I think I forgot to say that she has a drinking/weed problem, in my opinion. She denies it. When I saw her last I said I did not wish to ride with anyone who had been drinking or smoking and she said "how dare you say that about something I love". She is basically a lost person, and I do feel sorry for her. She will not change, my therapist told me she will not change, I know she will not change. It's a game over power and I no longer wish to play. Natsku, when you get into the money part of custody, then you will see if he's a narcissist or not. I don't know how to help you help your daughter. So sorry for you. Good luck and keep us posted.
Your therapist is right and it is unlikely to do any good discussing anything with her. I've never been happier since I cut off contact with my mother.
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Old 08-07-2015, 09:18 AM
 
3,739 posts, read 4,087,292 times
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Originally Posted by katjonjj View Post

A narcissist can only have drama if there is someone to give it to them!

Another technique to help you not take on her words is The Emotional Freedom Technique. I haven't tried it since it's been over 20 years since my mother had any control in my life but it sounds like it's worth a try.

Whatever you do... DON'T believe a word she says. Not even when she says she loves you! Why? because the "I love you" is a trap that allows her to hurt you even more when her actions and words say "I don't love you." Protect yourself and call her on her lies.

I have also found that if you don't play into their drama, they will ramp things up just to get a reaction out of you. They need drama and will create something out of thin air when things are quiet.
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