my anxiety is leading to a tough time at my student placement .... (anxious, overwhelmed)

[ally245]

Hi, I am posting this here as I hope someone with anxiety or who understands anxiety can help me. I have had breakdown regards this and other personal things in my life.. my anxiety attacks usually do not last long. my bf usually sees them as i am an openbook to him.. i usually breakdown and cry, shake, blank out and get very hot. So my situation is I am currently completing my placement in the human services field for a credit for school. My supervisor gives me a ton of work some smaller tasks some bigger that takes weeks. i have asked what she would like me to focus on and if she would like anything done sooner then the other and she kind of like just get it all done passive attitude. i am a full time student with a full time workload and final undergraduate research paper due all by when uni is done same time as placement in april. As this is my last semester I have been feeling very welcomed as I'm sure many other students. She does not expect me to work from home but sometimes I do cause I feel so behind with their tasks.. she does not know cause i do not want her to think I cant handle to work. i have tried telling her before as above what would you like me to focus on but i dont want to say its too much cause i do have time there.

I have anxiety - really bad and I get very anxious and it shows more then I wish it would. its like they feed off my anxiety- i try so hard to not show that I am overwhelmed cause its as if she will feed off of it.. as my anxiety goes up she literally adds more and almost attack me changing expectations of tasks and how to do things..saying we talked about this when we never did and she brushed it off before Christmas for instance, um telling me to write things down so i don't ask she said sarcastically when i was just checking a small two second errand and she sees i write down in the same notebook daily all my tasks!

i realize some supervisors can not be bothered with placement students and we can come off as a pest and often they have so much to do and burnt out with their own job. therefore i try not to pester but I have tasks and things for my uni that need to be signed such as goals and timesheets and i keep asking to have signed for weeks at a time. i spoke to my seminar instructor and she said to ask for time to sit down and have a few minutes with no distractions.. i just said basically ill keep trying but i do and she just brushes it off and says we'll review tomorrow or if they take 5 minutes its while she is looking at online shopping, eating a burger, or straitening her hair.....everything is tomorrow tomorrow. timesheets for instance are suppose to be signed daily but i realize their busy however i am always obsessing over tasks, some major big assignments she gives me and some small trivial errands like ask for this that follow up with etc.

a friend of mine is suggesting cause i am a 'privileged' European and my supervisor and the staff are predominantly a visible minority that are 'oppressed' that they look at me and dislike me as I "have more then them and even though they don't know me personally can see i have a better life" so she feels that plays a factor and she is just feeding off my anxiety and giving me more tasks and changing things etc to throw me off. I'm almost done when I finish university - while what I mentioned bothers me i cant really do anything and that's a bold assumption that could be true. but my main question here is any tips to get through the rest of this term? should i just go sit do my work and leave? how about getting my stuff signed and getting my files I keep asking for back!?? should i just sit down and do the 4ish things I need all at once and ask for 10 minutes of her time next time im in or do one at a time each day? i rather just get my stuff signed in one shot but she always seem bothered and say tomorrow, tomorrow. also any tips with lowering my anxiety? i made a master list of all my tasks but i still write a to do list for each day before i go in but then keep worrying and it before i go in- then never gets done- then i keep rewriting- its getting so tiring. any advice please?