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Old 01-30-2015, 02:17 PM
 
266 posts, read 347,069 times
Reputation: 320

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Today I was getting out of my car at Chipotle and there was a homeless man standing nearby. When I passed him he asked if I could help him get something to eat. Normally, when I'm asked for money, I just kindly say no. But since he asked for food, and we were standing outside a Chipotle, I said "Do you want a burrito?" And he said 'yes.'
So we went in, he asked if he could get a quesadilla. I told him to get whatever he wanted. I paid for the food (his food was still being made/quesadillas take a minute to heat up or whatever), went to get a soda, passed him when I was walking out and said "Enjoy" and he said 'thanks.' And that was it. I got in my car and drove home.
And now I feel 100% sad about this whole situation. Part of it could be that: is he truly homeless? Did I just get taken? But if I did, it was maybe eight bucks that I lost and its not going to make or break me. Or am I sad that he's homeless and without much? I have no idea. I feel like I was 'short' with him and could have been nicer. But I did a very nice thing! I did a mitzvah!
I sit here crying and upset and I don't know why. Could be that I'm still coming off Cymbalta (if you've read my other thread) but I just feel overwhelming sadness.
Any insight?
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Old 01-30-2015, 02:41 PM
 
5,697 posts, read 5,613,385 times
Reputation: 1939
you fed someone
let it go
why go one and on about it??
you will never find an answer to where this person is homeless
why not go volunteer somewhere
get involved
when I give money to someone
I say a prayer for them and then go on
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Old 01-30-2015, 03:05 PM
 
266 posts, read 347,069 times
Reputation: 320
You're right. It's over and done. I just didn't like/understand the sadness I felt.

Will be volunteering with The Boys and Girls Club in my area. Had my phone orientation yesterday.
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Old 01-30-2015, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
6,349 posts, read 3,210,147 times
Reputation: 3114
I can understand your feelings. You did a kind thing and you felt compassion for the man. Did you get taken in? Probably not. But even if you did, you did a compassionate thing. You did an act of kindness. So why the sadness? As you say, possibly because you are still coming off Cymbalta. But you have compassion and you are putting that to good purpose.

All the best to you.

Last edited by 303Guy; 01-30-2015 at 04:32 PM..
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Old 01-30-2015, 03:50 PM
 
266 posts, read 347,069 times
Reputation: 320
Thanks 303. Your words help.
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Old 01-30-2015, 04:23 PM
 
6,899 posts, read 3,623,969 times
Reputation: 2449
It was a great kindness.

What is so bad about feeling good? Allow yourself to feel good. You touched another life. I think you are a wonderful person.
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Old 01-30-2015, 06:05 PM
 
3,700 posts, read 3,061,014 times
Reputation: 2614
Don't sweat it. Sometimes acts of compassion and kindness can be overwhelming. That's not a bad thing. It's also why more people aren't able to do it.
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Old 01-30-2015, 10:17 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,545 posts, read 18,334,147 times
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I was homeless for a while. There are people who are genuinly hungry, and people who just want money. I've gotten food for people, bought it and given it to them. Some say no they want money. They didn't get money.

It was a good act. If the man was hungry, he got a dinner. People learn to survive any way they can and if its drugs or booze they want, they'll insist on money.

What people often don't get is respect as human beings, and when you give that, it is a great gift.
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Old 01-30-2015, 10:26 PM
 
16,066 posts, read 20,797,468 times
Reputation: 26376
Quote:
Originally Posted by box*of*rain View Post
Today I was getting out of my car at Chipotle and there was a homeless man standing nearby. When I passed him he asked if I could help him get something to eat. Normally, when I'm asked for money, I just kindly say no. But since he asked for food, and we were standing outside a Chipotle, I said "Do you want a burrito?" And he said 'yes.'
So we went in, he asked if he could get a quesadilla. I told him to get whatever he wanted. I paid for the food (his food was still being made/quesadillas take a minute to heat up or whatever), went to get a soda, passed him when I was walking out and said "Enjoy" and he said 'thanks.' And that was it. I got in my car and drove home.
And now I feel 100% sad about this whole situation. Part of it could be that: is he truly homeless? Did I just get taken? But if I did, it was maybe eight bucks that I lost and its not going to make or break me. Or am I sad that he's homeless and without much? I have no idea. I feel like I was 'short' with him and could have been nicer. But I did a very nice thing! I did a mitzvah!
I sit here crying and upset and I don't know why. Could be that I'm still coming off Cymbalta (if you've read my other thread) but I just feel overwhelming sadness.
Any insight?
I think you feel sad because to know that someone is having to beg for food is extremely sad.....I think for someone not to feel saddened by this would worry me....Course, someone un-effected would not have bought this person a meal either.
No disrespect....just an example.....but compare to finding a dog....and then helping them....and worrying if you could have done more to help. So, I'm assuming you have a mixture of sadness and guilt. I find that normal....If you feel concerned or overly worried, contact your Doctor and speak to him/her about it.
Thanks for being so kind...It was a very nice thing to do...And, I'm sure this person appreciated it very much....You touched a life today, be proud of yourself
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Old 01-30-2015, 10:47 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,545 posts, read 18,334,147 times
Reputation: 16831
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
I think you feel sad because to know that someone is having to beg for food is extremely sad.....I think for someone not to feel saddened by this would worry me....Course, someone un-effected would not have bought this person a meal either.
No disrespect....just an example.....but compare to finding a dog....and then helping them....and worrying if you could have done more to help. So, I'm assuming you have a mixture of sadness and guilt. I find that normal....If you feel concerned or overly worried, contact your Doctor and speak to him/her about it.
Thanks for being so kind...It was a very nice thing to do...And, I'm sure this person appreciated it very much....You touched a life today, be proud of yourself
Occasionally, I got help from people when I was homeless. I didn't ask but if someone would pay for my lunch I'd let them. It was so much more than the food, it was being acknowledged as a human being. The worse thing about being homeless was the way if people could tell you were invisible. What many don't know is a lot of homeless are working but don't have enough to live other than a shelter or cheap motel when they can.

Just being kind and treating the man like a real human being was a beautiful give.
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