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Old 03-06-2015, 06:28 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 6,066,285 times
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Thank you.

As far as I know I am on the waiting list for the next DBT group which occurs in July.

They do it locally, connected through the hospital.

I'm very lucky to live nearby, and it will be free.
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Old 03-08-2015, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,954 posts, read 7,170,516 times
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That's wonderful. Please share how you do with it.
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Old 03-08-2015, 04:00 PM
 
Location: So Ca
18,261 posts, read 16,798,631 times
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Informative article in Time about DBT:
http://content.time.com/time/subscri...0491-4,00.html
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Old 03-12-2015, 06:07 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,323 posts, read 20,092,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
I had to think about this for a while, it's all still new to me and I'm still learning.

How BPD has affected me:

Primarily, dysfunction in relationships to the point I am almost totally isolated.

My kids don't speak to me, I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA why. This is a major grief in my life and has made me suicidal, but BPDs are suicidal anyway.

I had a major breakdown after my career hit the skids, or was it vice versa, and have been unable to manage day to day ever since, about 4 years ago.

In the last 4 years (indeed, many times over my 49 years) I have been homeless, a victim of crime, lost my house, career, kids, friends.

On the other hand I do not exhibit the Usual Feature of cutting or even at first glance, abandonment issues - yet ive come to realize that is whats behind every single action or thought ive ever had.

The scary part is, my own niece cuts. It seems as though there may be a genetic component but my niece was never neglected nor abused as a small child, as I was.

It's absolutely horrific and the only reason I was diagnosed is because I myself KNEW there was something more than just depression, which ive been treated for for years now.

I managed extremely well showing all the signs of Success, for years...then a couple of personal crises (my work, my kids/ex husband) and it finally all fell apart. I became pretty much unable to do anything, and this is still affecting me.

The major reaction I had to diagnosis has been MASSIVE relief. People with BPD absolutely hate themselves and feel major negative emotions daily, several times daily. They blame themselves for everything one minute, blame the world the next. Rational thought is a stranger, impulsive acts a relief.

It is incredibly painful and debilitating and I am absolutely amazed I have managed so well, in retrospect.

People probably just thought I was a b*tch at times but at other times I am extremely good company, fun, intelligent, generous and kind.

I am very prone to the black/white thinking and as a symptom of my horribly abusive childhood I have perfected the art of dissociation. I make massive efforts to NOT CARE first, before anyone can hurt me.

Thanks for asking the question, its the first time I've put my experiences in writing.
Thank you for sharing, and I applaud you for hanging in there. You have to give yourself credit for seeking a diagnosis and embracing it once it was given, rather than searching for some mechanism to avoid confronting the problem. I think this places you well ahead of others with this condition. I also read somewhere that the symptoms diminish with age. Others here, who know far more about BPD that I do, have given you some excellent advice here.

The woman I alluded to in my earlier post, is only 6 years older than you. When she turned 50, she unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide by overdosing on a hallucinatory drug, while trying to cure the lonely blues on New Years Eve. This was only a few months after her daughter unsuccessfully tried to end her life. It took years for this woman and daughter to develop a bond, but after four years, they are now living together, possibly repairing the damage.

Stay hopeful about yourself, your life, your relationship with your kids, as best your can. I do understand what you're going through very well. It is difficult for a man to cope with someone who has BPD, unless he knows in advance what it is, and is the type of person who is versatile and patient enough to support you unconditionally. Remember, nobody is perfect, and a beautiful thing never is.
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Old 03-14-2015, 01:47 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 6,066,285 times
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Thank you for your words of kindness.

I've always known there was something WRONG. Wronger than just depression which seems a walk in the park beside BPD.

As I've got older its got WORSE not better. I can no longer hide under the foibles of youth, and I cannot tell you the pain this has caused me over the years. I long for it to stop and am running toward anything that can help, but in the meantime its just the internet which seems wildly underesourced.

Plenty of articles of how to live with someone WITH BPD, precious few on how to Live At All for those who are actually afflicted.

I actually am very mild on the scale, in some respects.

I told a friend who is a psych nurse and she told me BPDs are her favorite patients, funny and intelligent, almost always.

Ive read Marilyn Monroe was likely BPD - another unwanted and abused child.
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Old 03-16-2015, 03:32 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,323 posts, read 20,092,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
Thank you for your words of kindness.

I've always known there was something WRONG. Wronger than just depression which seems a walk in the park beside BPD.

As I've got older its got WORSE not better. I can no longer hide under the foibles of youth, and I cannot tell you the pain this has caused me over the years. I long for it to stop and am running toward anything that can help, but in the meantime its just the internet which seems wildly underesourced.

Plenty of articles of how to live with someone WITH BPD, precious few on how to Live At All for those who are actually afflicted.

I actually am very mild on the scale, in some respects.

I told a friend who is a psych nurse and she told me BPDs are her favorite patients, funny and intelligent, almost always.

Ive read Marilyn Monroe was likely BPD - another unwanted and abused child.
I can't imagine the pain this has caused you and believe it is significant. Consider the perspective of this family therapist.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8INyxX6VNI


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC2sewmrjvs

Are you a "Grown Wounded Child?
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Old 03-18-2015, 12:13 PM
 
162 posts, read 126,781 times
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I have BPD. It is an absolute nightmare.

Make sure you see a therapist with a good track record of treating BPD. A lot of therapists refuse to work with us or just don't understand the disorder well enough to give you the proper treatment.
Good Luck!
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Old 03-20-2015, 12:48 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,323 posts, read 20,092,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veretina View Post
I have BPD. It is an absolute nightmare.

Make sure you see a therapist with a good track record of treating BPD. A lot of therapists refuse to work with us or just don't understand the disorder well enough to give you the proper treatment.
Good Luck!
How do you know you have it? Were you diagnosed? How long have you had it? What are your symptoms? It's informative to those of us interested in learning more. If you feel comfortable sharing, please do.
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Old 03-21-2015, 07:07 PM
 
1,810 posts, read 3,202,261 times
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I feel you all. I was diagnosed with the disorder many years ago, I've been on and off meds and therapies, it's extremely hard to cope at times.

Life and love are excrutiating struggles for us, but they can be won.
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Old 03-22-2015, 12:03 PM
 
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I am manic or BPD 2. I can function pretty well without medication. It is a lot of self awareness and recognizing triggers. The biggest stress from it is my mom is not diagnosed BPD with alcoholism. Watching her mood swings is looking at a mirror, but she won't admit it due to viewing it as a weakness. Drinks on average 20 to 30 glasses of wine a week. Smoking she smokes a pack or two a week. Really self destructive unhealthy behavior. The mood swings and behavior have affected me my whole life. I left escaped the house. Went crazy with the freedom made so many impulsive purchases I couldn't stop it felt great to have my own control over my life. Loss my job, loss my girlfriend, loss place to live, $7,000 in debt had to move back home. Life is getting better sort of.

Taxes are bumming me out another $2,000 just because of unemployment. Have to hide a lot of truth from my mom because I have no where else to go threatens to kick me out and family to. Very minimal support just my girlfriend and her mom.

Das was diagnosed with bipolar kind of nothing further on that end. He also might of been adopted or different father. I was four divorced my mom. Just started talking to him after a 15 year hiatus, 28 right now. Still controlling like my mom mood swings are not noticeable. Very his way or the highway type. Is very impulsive and can have random bouts of energetic moods.

He takes a different approach from my mom. Healthy running working out. His life hasn't been so great but finally improving.

Also supportive of me but can never tell if a lie or not. Where my mom is very critical and judgmental. Will question how I look saying I an fat or not cute anymore. Very stressful life at home that might go on for another year till I can financially stable myself and move out...marry the girlfriend...finish going back to school again.

For myself definitely energy loss a lot of distraction loss of exercise. However, I have been able to curb my depressive elusive from 16 to 4 a year. I had a bad one recently three week's long. Finalized with a lot of anger and fear got myself into a car accident so more bill's. Hopefully thing's will improve just have to have faith and hope.

Best of luck.
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