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Old 04-18-2015, 08:19 AM
 
Location: So Ca
17,933 posts, read 16,600,887 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
Does anyone have any advice on how to handle and help someone with BPD who isn't really getting any professional help?
This is a helpful link for families of those with BPD: Why BPD relationships are so complicated - BPD Central
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Old 04-20-2015, 08:06 AM
 
Location: PANAMA
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Someone mention "gaslighting" which is very common with BD and BPD relationships. Here is a good link on the matter:

What is Gaslighting? – www.loveisrespect.org
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Old 04-20-2015, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Hartford Connecticut
304 posts, read 327,200 times
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Natsku

this is a tough question. Folks with personality disorders come to terms with this in their own time. One has to develop insight over time that something is not right. Its a process that can take years. Once diagnosed by a professional improvement can be seen in a year or two-
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Old 04-20-2015, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Hartford Connecticut
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skywalker 2014

I was gas lighted in a relationship- by what I believe was a narcissist, (NPD) Or a Malignant Narcissist. Also this person could have overlapping Psychopathy (I cannot make a determination) Not qualified- but after a 1.5 year relationship, I can tell you and others here its the most insidious type of subtle abuse that over time builds . Its basically used to gain control over the 'victim'. My self esteem was shredded. After years of therapy- I am doing well now. Its been over 4 years since this 'person' exited my life. I am almost recovered- but will never fully get over what happened to me- most people remain changed forever. I was diagnosed with BPD in 2013.
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Old 04-21-2015, 02:12 AM
 
Location: Finland
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My ex gas lighted me a lot, I'm pretty sure he has NPD as well as BPD though, they apparently go together quite often.
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Old 04-22-2015, 09:46 AM
 
Location: PANAMA
1,424 posts, read 1,143,177 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
My ex gas lighted me a lot, I'm pretty sure he has NPD as well as BPD though, they apparently go together quite often.
Also with BD (bipolar disorder), usually "gas lightning" is the technique they use to not take control or remorse from their actions.

Often after their episodes they don't apologize, or just say "don't wanna talk about it".

If there's a term to this behavior...believe me...there is something very wrong with it.
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Old 04-25-2015, 04:54 AM
 
Location: Hartford Connecticut
304 posts, read 327,200 times
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Bi Polar disordered people tend to bully- can be very controlling, blame others, also have delusions of grandiosity (all similar to NPD) especially when they are in 'mania' . However they will over weeks or a few months 'crash' into depression. Narcissists can become dysphoric over lack of 'supply' or perceived ''injuries' to their inflated 'false self'. But NPD over time is far more 'stable' and consistent then Bi Polar disorder. Those with Bi Polar disorder lack the kind of 'emotional emptiness' to gaslight as well as those diagnosed with NPD or APD effectively.

As far as 'Gaslighting'- NPD or APD are the two disorders where this type of ambient abuse is used most. Borderlines can be manipulative to garner attention and support- and to avoid abandonment. But this manipulation is far less used to control, or exploit others. Borderlines also are far too 'emotional' to 'gaslight' like the other two disorders effectively. Histrionics also need 'attention'- can be manipulative (in a flirtatious, emotional way) - but seldom use 'Gaslighting'.

Those diagnosed comorbid with NPD and BPD will of course 'gaslight' but this from the NPD - not from the BPD.

Last edited by newerabuzz; 04-25-2015 at 05:13 AM..
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Old 04-25-2015, 09:38 AM
 
Location: So Ca
17,933 posts, read 16,600,887 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veretina View Post
I have never targeted my therapist for the record. Us Borderlines are hyper sensitive to people looking down upon us or not fully engaging. My therapist was great. He was very understanding and always engaged. If I had a bad therapist which a vast majority of them suck and only take on Borderlines to get paid not actually help, I would probably leave in a fit. Never ever attack. Some NOT ALL Borderlines will do that. I'm tired of the stigmas.
It's not really "targeting a therapist" when the client's issues come out in the therapy session. That, in fact, is the whole point of successful therapy: for a client to re-create their outside world in a place where they can examine their behavior with a safe person....and start changing it. And not all therapists are competent enough to handle that. When I was in grad school, they advised that those with an MA did not have enough education, training and experience to handle ANY personality disordered individuals competently (the clinician would need a PhD).

Many clients terminate before they ever reach a point in therapy in which they can feel safe enough to start actually examining and working on their feelings and behavior. It can be too painful. (Never mind expensive, time consuming, etc). So there are reasons that therapy is not successful for some clients, including those with Borderline PD.
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Old 04-25-2015, 12:26 PM
 
Location: PANAMA
1,424 posts, read 1,143,177 times
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You don't need to be a therapist to know when you are abused, cheated, lied to, and potentially "gas lighted".

Sure, we all have "bad" and "good" days. But this something else...

If the person doesn't want to be treated..well my friend...run if you can....BD, BPD, APD, NPD or any "D's" (disorder)are not worth livin' unless the person is willing to change or try to change that.

Always control your emotions...or they will control you!
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Old 04-27-2015, 06:47 PM
 
Location: PANAMA
1,424 posts, read 1,143,177 times
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Trending topic on Yahoo:


Borderline Personality Disorder May Be as Disabling as Bipolar Disorder | Psych Central News
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