Borderline Personality Disorder - Education and Support (confronting, effect, therapy)
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this is a tough question. Folks with personality disorders come to terms with this in their own time. One has to develop insight over time that something is not right. Its a process that can take years. Once diagnosed by a professional improvement can be seen in a year or two-
I was gas lighted in a relationship- by what I believe was a narcissist, (NPD) Or a Malignant Narcissist. Also this person could have overlapping Psychopathy (I cannot make a determination) Not qualified- but after a 1.5 year relationship, I can tell you and others here its the most insidious type of subtle abuse that over time builds . Its basically used to gain control over the 'victim'. My self esteem was shredded. After years of therapy- I am doing well now. Its been over 4 years since this 'person' exited my life. I am almost recovered- but will never fully get over what happened to me- most people remain changed forever. I was diagnosed with BPD in 2013.
Bi Polar disordered people tend to bully- can be very controlling, blame others, also have delusions of grandiosity (all similar to NPD) especially when they are in 'mania' . However they will over weeks or a few months 'crash' into depression. Narcissists can become dysphoric over lack of 'supply' or perceived ''injuries' to their inflated 'false self'. But NPD over time is far more 'stable' and consistent then Bi Polar disorder. Those with Bi Polar disorder lack the kind of 'emotional emptiness' to gaslight as well as those diagnosed with NPD or APD effectively.
As far as 'Gaslighting'- NPD or APD are the two disorders where this type of ambient abuse is used most. Borderlines can be manipulative to garner attention and support- and to avoid abandonment. But this manipulation is far less used to control, or exploit others. Borderlines also are far too 'emotional' to 'gaslight' like the other two disorders effectively. Histrionics also need 'attention'- can be manipulative (in a flirtatious, emotional way) - but seldom use 'Gaslighting'.
Those diagnosed comorbid with NPD and BPD will of course 'gaslight' but this from the NPD - not from the BPD.
Last edited by newerabuzz; 04-25-2015 at 05:13 AM..
I have never targeted my therapist for the record. Us Borderlines are hyper sensitive to people looking down upon us or not fully engaging. My therapist was great. He was very understanding and always engaged. If I had a bad therapist which a vast majority of them suck and only take on Borderlines to get paid not actually help, I would probably leave in a fit. Never ever attack. Some NOT ALL Borderlines will do that. I'm tired of the stigmas.
It's not really "targeting a therapist" when the client's issues come out in the therapy session. That, in fact, is the whole point of successful therapy: for a client to re-create their outside world in a place where they can examine their behavior with a safe person....and start changing it. And not all therapists are competent enough to handle that. When I was in grad school, they advised that those with an MA did not have enough education, training and experience to handle ANY personality disordered individuals competently (the clinician would need a PhD).
Many clients terminate before they ever reach a point in therapy in which they can feel safe enough to start actually examining and working on their feelings and behavior. It can be too painful. (Never mind expensive, time consuming, etc). So there are reasons that therapy is not successful for some clients, including those with Borderline PD.
You don't need to be a therapist to know when you are abused, cheated, lied to, and potentially "gas lighted".
Sure, we all have "bad" and "good" days. But this something else...
If the person doesn't want to be treated..well my friend...run if you can....BD, BPD, APD, NPD or any "D's" (disorder)are not worth livin' unless the person is willing to change or try to change that.
Always control your emotions...or they will control you!
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