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Old 04-03-2015, 07:52 PM
Location: LA, CA/ In This Time and Place
5,445 posts, read 3,727,193 times
Reputation: 5069



But you should leave him, no
Other way.
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Old 04-04-2015, 07:13 AM
Location: The 719
15,307 posts, read 23,376,422 times
Reputation: 14469
My wife, MrsGowdog, calls it Alanot.
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Old 04-05-2015, 02:40 PM
Location: Central NY
5,339 posts, read 3,761,365 times
Reputation: 14361
Default Family

I am the youngest of 3 daughters. Dad was a violent drunk, Mom drank to watch how much Dad drank, sisters forgot the misery we all went through. By the grace of God, I didn't get the drinking gene. But I sure did get the behavior.
I went to counseling, al-anon meetings, codependent-no-more meetings. At some point I realized I had to break off with the whole family.
Now, so many years later, with three out of the four drinkers dead and the fourth dying, I think about all the lost family years and I must say I wonder if I did the right thing. They were victims, too, not just me. I reached out for help; they did not. I tried to help middle sister but she could not handle recovery. It's not easy as most recovery people will tell you.
Now my children do not have a relationship with me for various reasons; of course I'm never told what they are. Old saying you can't fix something you don't know what is broken.
I'm now 73 and feeling quite alone and very lonely. I don't know what I would say to someone who was struggling with this same problem. Gut instinct is good, never ignore it. Save yourself is something you must do. But no matter what you do, it can still turn out to be a very big emotional mess.
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Old 04-06-2015, 12:56 AM
Location: MA
1,622 posts, read 1,421,190 times
Reputation: 3018
You say nothing because you aren't there anymore. All they care about is there drugs......
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Old 04-07-2015, 09:29 AM
Location: Philadelphia
11,945 posts, read 10,939,073 times
Reputation: 8152
He is the only one that can make the effort to stop-sad as it is there is nothing you can do. I have some personal experience with it and have (had) very good friends that are addicted to oxys-it is an awful, awful addiction. They are not "there" ever -and will always be high or thinking about how to get high. They will lie about using, about spending/getting money and the lies will only beget more lying.

It's true that there are real withdrawal symptoms- flu like symptoms and achy legs/arms when an oxy addict stops using but I still believe that the mental aspect is #1. Suboxone and methadone can help withdrawal symptoms but they can also become another addiction-I have known people that have gone to rehab for suboxone.

When the time comes, he'll stop but it's never guaranteed and it could be years from now and I'm sure you deserve better.
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Old 04-07-2015, 11:23 AM
194 posts, read 153,099 times
Reputation: 264
Get him some kava. Its helped many an addict reach sobriety.

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Old 04-10-2015, 06:24 AM
162 posts, read 126,817 times
Reputation: 374
Opiates addicts are the worst. They get clean then Xanax then they are back on opiates. It really sucks because they make a bad name for anyone who NEEDS Xanax.

Really really ask yourself is it truly worth it? Is it worth the shady people, the possible overdoses, jail time, etc. I've seen opiates addicts turn their lives around. But if you give them the benefit of the doubt they will run with that. Tell him he either gets clean and gets his mental health in order or you leave. Don't fall for any tricks. It's simple.
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