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Hi everyone, I am new here. After reading many topics about depression, loneliness and stuff like that, I decided to make an account, and share my thoughts with you, because i don't have anyone.
I don't know if I have depression, or just hormones because I am 16. But since 3 month (or 2), I have lost the joy to live. I always feel sad, lazy, and I am angry all the time, but I try not to be. My friends told me recently that I often change mood from super euphoric to very upset in few minutes. I am writing here, because I am lost. I have friends, I could talk to, but I don't trust them, some because I know them too well, and I know they would repeat it, some because we are not very close. And I have this one friend that I met this year, I really like her, not in love (I am a girl), I could talk to her, but I am afraid she will think that I am crazy or she won't care, and I don't wanna lose her.
So everyday, I do my best to pretend to be happy, but I am really not. I want to be happy, like really, but I have no reasons to be. My parents are divorcing, I am far away from my family, and we do not talk as much as we did before. I am lonely. I have lost interest in all my favorites hobbies. Sometimes i just wake up, look at the roof, and lay in bed for the next hours. I don't sleep well. Most of the time I sleep too much. I go to sleep a 6pm and wake up at 6:30am (for school) but I am still tired. But since few days i don't sleep enough. I lay in bed and think what is wrong with me, or why am I so sad. The only one close friend that I had, is 5000km away from me, and we don't talk anymore. I am not close to my parents. They got me at a very young age, and I have this feeling of being unwanted, they alway makes jokes that I ruined their life and stuff. Now they are divorcing, they always yell at each other, it's exhausting. But now I am happy my father moved, so they don't yell anymore. I don't know what to do to talk to that one friend, because of my fear to be rejected, and I don't want to be sad anymore, but it's like life is meaningless to me.
Am I depressive? Or is it just a bad pass? I am really lost and don't know what to do. So if you have read this post, I would appreciate your help, and tips to stop being sad, because I really don't want to be anymore. Oh and sorry if there are grammar mistakes, English is not my native language.
You do sound depressed, and also as if you have a lot of insight into what may be contributing to your sadness. Your parents' divorce is a large part of that, it appears, and it is normal and understandable that you'd be sad about that.
If your school has a counselor, please meet with him or her and tell him what you've told us here. Your doctor might also be helpful. Talking with whichever parent is the closest might also be a good idea.
Now that spring is on the way (assuming you're in the northern hemisphere), plan to get outside more and get sunshine, fresh air, and whatever form of exercise you enjoy - biking can be fun and adventurous, too.
As for making friends, find activities you enjoy and see if you can find others who share your interests. Does your school have clubs or special interest groups? If you can't find like-minded friends, then pursue your interests on your own - read, do online research, check out nearby places that relate your interests, etc.
BTW, you write exceptionally well - I'd say better than most American sixteen year olds. Hope that will cheer you up a little bit!
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