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Old 03-11-2015, 08:15 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,119 posts, read 8,786,349 times
Reputation: 11672

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I've struggled with periods of depression and anxiety for my entire life. I had a childhood that was turbulent at times even though I have a good relationship with my parents as an adult. I also went through a divorce five years ago that left me devastated. I’m not upset about the divorce anymore, but my self esteem still hasn’t recovered. About a month ago I felt like I was spiraling out of control more than usual. I've been dating someone new since August and it's frequently long distance which has my tendency to worry and over analyze in over drive.

I feel empty a lot and like life is meaningless. I wouldn't hurt myself, but sometimes I wish I didn't exist, so that I could feel nothing. I’m so tired of trying to be happy. There are a lot of good things and good people in my life. I know I should be grateful and that just makes me feel even worse because there are so many people struggling just to survive and here I am with a home, food to eat, healthy (at least physically), and a job.

A month or so ago I decided I needed some help, so I finally found a therapist and I felt like it was helping. It’s my fault as I should have checked prior to, but I just got the bill yesterday and I can’t afford to keep going. I assumed my insurance would cover at least a portion of my visits, but they aren’t and it’s $100 per session. I simply can’t afford $400 dollars of therapy a month. I’m going to have to use my meager savings to pay off the sessions I already went.

It just seems like every time I try to take a positive step, I get knocked down. I don’t even know what to do next. I guess I just needed to vent – put this out into the world somewhere. I’m pretty sure all my friends are exhausted of listening to me try to sort myself out, and I feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to. And now I don’t even have a therapist. I feel so lost.
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Old 03-11-2015, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
6,311 posts, read 5,136,406 times
Reputation: 13829
Contact your benefits department and find out what mental health therapy is covered. Perhaps some is and that might offer you some relief.
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Old 03-11-2015, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,284 posts, read 5,015,292 times
Reputation: 4083
This might sound crazy, but changing my diet had a huge impact on my depression. In particular, eliminating wheat made me feel worlds better. I recommend reading Wheat Belly or Wheat Belly Total Health, if you can get either from your library. The difference really has been huge. Once I cut wheat out I was able to get off of anti-depressants and I've never looked back.
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Old 03-11-2015, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,284 posts, read 5,015,292 times
Reputation: 4083
Actually, depression is the topic if a recent post in the Wheat Belly blog:

Depression: Why not START with a nutritional solution? - Dr. William Davis
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