Stress and Guilt (depression, sleep, insurance, system)

[RunD1987]

This week has been a drainer of energy. With having head and chest issues due to allergies. However, received a letter from an insurance company that an accident four week's ago they were investigating a claim put against me/my insurance. Dealt with that this week and next week. Started new job four week's ago had it's ups and downs some skills at work trying to get the hang of.

I did propose to my girlfriend last Saturday that was awesome. However, I stress a lot...a lot comes from my mom who stresses a lot about money. I am in $8,000 worth of debt, starting 16 month college program in the fall, paying off damages to my car, and paying my taxes off.

Also going to start working in two week's my normal part time schedule of 24 hour's a week paycheck will only be around $400 to $500 a week. Different from my $800 to $900 right now a week.

My mom not sure if upset I didn't tell her till a week later I got engaged. I just was worried how she would take it. Also which, I thought I did blocked access from my mom questioning if I started a new job. That is a big issue I feel. As a lot of history with my family wanting to keep my previous job. I haven't told my mom about the new job. Told her it was just as needed job I can pick up extra hour's as needed. In three months if they like me cab pick up part time work. I know I spun a Web of lies, but really concern how my mom will take it. Hopefully, can tell my mom around July I took the other job.

Feeling overwhelmed a lot lately but running has been helping.

[Billy_J]

You remind me of me!

Sometimes I have had "too much on my platter" and could just not handle any more - for the moment. So I also "deferred stress" by not telling someone something they would hassle me about.

Anyway that is good if you can put off dealing with your mom if you are currently overloaded. Give yourself a bit of leeway...

[usayit]

I'm along the same lines...

For me, I found creating lists and journaling helps... Writing down seems to allow me to "let it go..." and revisit later.. It allows me to subjectively examine my "list of worries", prioritize them, strike out the items that I do not have control over, and systematically work through the highest priorities one-at-a-time. I also journal my thoughts about them to help rationalize them.

I'm a very rational and logical person but when my depression and anxieties get the better of me, I tend to be irrational. Writing about those thoughts and re-examining them after I've moved to a better state of mind helps tremendously deal with the daily stressors and avoids making irrational decisions. I have a few close friends/family that I will at times share my struggles (journal entries) to help vent it out.

Unfortunately for people like us, life gets ever so more complex after marriage and kids especially when the entire family depends on my successes in the workforce. I keep an eye what I can do simplify life. I keep my debts to a minimum, for example, as it is one lesser thing to worry about.

I wish you luck..

[RunD1987]

O I like the idea of journaling it out. I can't stand schedules but thinking of getting a pocket calendar. Also week before the new month I pay my bills off on certain day's. That way I don't forget, and don't have to perseverate on them as much. Exercise helps clear my thoughts out. I say my biggest worry is my mom. I moved back home after losing my job. However, I feel guilty staying with my fiance at her mom's place at times, which I do to escape from the home environment with my mom. After the marriage plan to live at my girlfriend's parent house pay rent there while saving up for an apartment together over the year finish school up.

Hoping school works out again is another big concern with the car. The car was in an accident being a lease worried with lease ending in a year. Can I pay out of pocket the $1,000 deductible to fix the car how long will that be. Can I pay for college if I get in can I get through with just grants/loans. Will I loose my new job.

I really have to work on distracting my self from these thoughts. Because working only three day's a week no school right now it's tough. I run in the morning and exercise that is an hour of the day. Laundry is sporadic throughout the day if motivated. Walk the dog two or three times a day for 5 to 10 minutes a day. I try to allow an hour to read but that makes thing's a lot worse. If motivated and weather is good go for an hour walk. Then if fiance is not at work or at school or studying job see her for a few hour's. Still leads a lot of hour's of the day open and sleep at night is terrible since I go to bed feeling wide awake due to the day.

I plan on once off orientation with work pick up an extra shift so that way can work three days doing 16,8,8 something like that three times a month. Take the fourth week as a break to enjoy self. I use the money from that extra shift to help pay...I cook one or two meals week for my mom and my fiance. Also towards my Netflix for movies I rent. Then at the end of the month use it for trip like go to the movies or the beach just to enjoy self. Whatever is left over I will put towards savings.

Right now trying to put $450 a month in savings and hoping by the end of April/start of May start out with $1,000 emergency fund.

[RunD1987]

Forgot to mention I realized sugar, cheese, and grease get me down a lot. Been trying to cut grease out only doing pizza or takeout once every other week. Helps saves money, my mood, weight, and feel healthy. Also chocolate helps with mood and energy. Trying to cut down to one cup of coffee s day.