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Old 04-29-2015, 08:26 AM
9,310 posts, read 5,224,226 times
Reputation: 2190


I am turning 28 this summer. I am back living at home after loosing my job a year ago and paying rent. I am questioned regarding my life choices heavily and try my best to keep them secret from my family.*

A lot of the questioning goes to me not settling down with life. I lost my job last May. Since then took one job, but after accepting it turned it down for another job. I did one day of training at the other job, but turned it down when offered a higher paying job. I left that job after four month's because couldn't be guaranteed of work and driving in the snow to work was a challenge. During that period I accepted a per diem job, but turned it down due to my work schedule not being consistent.*

Leaned on an old boss for a job knowing wouldn't plan to stay there long. Long behold find put my family persuaded my uncle in writing a letter to HR to hire me. This has been a huge controversy in the family. Family sees if I leave this job I am insulting my uncle and was the only reason I got the job.

Now I am working at my current employer. Went from working 40 hour's to 24 hour's a week. Actually was offered a job prior to this one, but rejected that offer to this job. Was a bit higher pay, but drive is a stinker. Anyways couldn't tell my family I took this job. So about week ago after thinking I blocked my mom on Facebook finds out working at this other hospital.*

I was able to avoid confrontation momentarily with my mom saying per diem but if they like me can work there in 3 month's full time.

Anyways mom wants me working more complains about my ideas of not wanting to drive 60 miles a day for an extra shift. Where I be open to working am extra shift if working that day.*

A lot of anxiety comes from my driving. Recently been in a few accidents and it makes driving nerve racking for me. I like to either be close to home or less crowded working area's.

So now I applied for a job closer to home. Really hoping it goes through. With my own moral dilemma of not staying at job's for long period of time. With my family questioning me hopping around it is stressful.

On top of that there frustration that went to school for criminal justice not working in the criminal justice field. However, my degree was required for three of my previous job's.

I been applying less to places concentrating on area's closer to home, better hour's, and on fields interested in.

Now a bit more information they question me on is my decision to go back to school. Been flip flipping with wanting to go to nursing, to physical therapy, to occupational therapy, and to teaching.

Decided finally teaching is what I want to do. Sent my application in, but family questions why do I want to rack up such debt. Mind you program going in is in my town if you do an internship at a school system of their choice they pay for your education...minus a few fees.

That is kind of the reasoning even if a cut in hourly pay looking at the job in my town. It is a night job close to places of where I be interning...as well as the school hoping to be accepted to.

Then continue to criticize me for getting married in fall of 2016 not 2017 if school ends in December 2016. I do agree a bit, but think it will all work out.

They furthermore criticize the decision to move put after December with my fiance mom and her save up money till the summer. Will continue to pay rent, but to her mom. My mom feels I am abandoning her and rather her be homeless.

Hope to find work by the fall of 2017 and fiance woud be finishing nursing school in the fall of 2017. Figure be established by then a bit. Then looking at the possibility of renting over the course of two to three year's. I still work per diem at this other job I just applied to.

My fiancé mom be retiring possibly moving out of state. Would consider moving put of the state and look with my fiance on a house to buy out of state.

I am not sure I just have mixed feelings on how my family us reacting to me. I feel as if I am the bad guy.
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Old 04-29-2015, 08:27 AM
9,310 posts, read 5,224,226 times
Reputation: 2190
I apoligize for post being lengthy. Other factors are from 8 month's working away from home racked up 10,000 miles on my car. At 25,000 miles on my car o travel 200 miles a week to my current job. Other reason looking for work close to home.

I love my family they are supportive at time's. However, they are very controlling and a lot of their words have a great affect on me. I have trouble making choices and feel a loss of own self identity when around them.
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Old 04-29-2015, 11:06 AM
4,761 posts, read 11,728,207 times
Reputation: 7878
1. It is YOUR life! You will spend MOST of your life at work... So best to choose a career doing something YOU like! If other people do not like it, then tough beans - it is NOT their life. Tell them to go fly a kite (after you have graduated and have your own home that is ).

2. The quitting jobs problem has an EASY solution! It seems the root cause is your fear of driving. You can go take driving lessons from a PROFESSIONAL DRIVING SCHOOL and learn "defensive driving". You can learn to not tailgate others and not allow anyone else to tailgate you (pull over and let them pass). Look both ways if you have a green light - be prepared to stop if someone runs a red light.

Learn to put on chains for snow/ice or use the proper tires and go SLOW.

There is a LOT to learn about safe/defensive driving - if you learn these things, you will have various methods of protecting yourself from other drivers - will feel MUCH safer driving!

Also you can live cheaply in a roommate situation - check out craigslist.org.

And find a location on a city bus line. Then get a job also on that bus line. Take the bus to work and then NO PROBLEM driving!

See just a couple of simple solutions and you will not need to quit your jobs anymore!

As for other people telling you negative things, re-arrange your life away from them, then don't listen to their negativity anymore. Hang up the phone on them if they have nothing good to say. Don't visit them if they just say nasty things and make you feel bad.

If they say good things, then talk away with them! (Might want to mention those are your new rules - after moving out of course.)
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Old 04-29-2015, 03:51 PM
9,310 posts, read 5,224,226 times
Reputation: 2190
Appreciate the feedback...it is tough. I deal a lot with criticism of settling down with my life and being a flake. I held y previous job for up to three year's and one prior for six year's. Then when told after finding a job six month's on unemployment a month later they say they couldn't guarantee me work. My family kept telling me to take this job got involved by talking to my uncle who works for the company to write a letter to HR without me knowing.

Was a confusing time family telling me to take this job, questioning why am I not going to be a cop then telling me I shouldn't be a cop, then I wanted to take a few on call job's telling me that they kick me out of the house, and questioning my contribution to my mom and the house.

Took the job okay job but paranoid about what I was touching cleaned up after surgeries. Did that for a month then took a job in another hospital. Not too far away 40 minute drive, but prefer to be closer to home. Family can't know I left the other job and working this job. Family upset mostly mom wanting to work close to home and moving around with work.

Feels school will lead to more debt. Questioning the marriage. Trying to make me feel guilty leaving her. Saying well let me take my money before you leave. You are abandoning me. You are making me homeless. Weird to live with your wife's mom. Making crude jokes about my fiance. Upset when I do see them.

It's stressful

The bus route takes 2 hour's to get to where I am going for work I work odd late hours so bit unsafe to take the bus.
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