U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-18-2015, 09:52 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 11,828,065 times
Reputation: 7879

Advertisements

You can resolve the "thing you did in the past" by apologizing to the person you did it to. (I am just guessing - it would help if you can say what you did!)

Also this can be resolved by something called "Psychodrama". A counselor can help you reenact what happened, then play-act an outcome which will give you closure. You can tell someone something you have always wanted to say. Maybe say you are sorry - whatever. The other person does not need to be there.

Look for counseling in the phone directory. Your county health department may also offer counseling for low or no cost.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-19-2015, 10:20 PM
 
7 posts, read 4,992 times
Reputation: 10
okay so what happened was i was like in like 5th grade over my friends house and his little brother kept saying things about sex and stuff and he was pulling down his pants and i was young and i didnt know what i was feeling at the time but i pulled mine down to and we touched each other and thats what i remembered. like i said im not gay that just happened and i was young and didnt know what to do and now i feel guilty and im scared of the future like what will happen if he like reports it or something please help me please this is serious and idk what to do and i wasnt playing girls the first time it didnt work out between us and i moved on please help
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2015, 10:16 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 11,828,065 times
Reputation: 7879
Quote:
Originally Posted by thewarmup20 View Post
okay so what happened was i was like in like 5th grade over my friends house and his little brother kept saying things about sex and stuff and he was pulling down his pants and i was young and i didnt know what i was feeling at the time but i pulled mine down to and we touched each other and thats what i remembered. like i said im not gay that just happened and i was young and didnt know what to do and now i feel guilty and im scared of the future like what will happen if he like reports it or something please help me please this is serious and idk what to do and i wasnt playing girls the first time it didnt work out between us and i moved on please help
"Children" are NOT charged with sex crimes like an adult would be if he did that to a child. BIG difference!

Furthermore it is quite normal for kids to experiment and check out each other's parts. This is part of growing up and learning.

Note that there is no sexual interest as this was before puberty. Also note that high school boys will also experiment with each other - then go on to be totally straight - get married, etc. Perfectly normal. (Men do not talk about these things except sometimes on the internet.)

Anyway you have NOTHING to be concerned about. "Straight" means you are attracted to women. "Gay" means you are attracted to men. And it does not mean a whole lot these days anyway - your business what you prefer. And nothing wrong with what you did as a child - no one can "report" you for anything!

As for the "reporting" thing... Something which may help you... Grown straight men will sometimes go to a gay bar to meet another man to experiment with. And these men are SCARED to death that someone they know will be there, see them, and go tell everyone! Now let's think this through...

Wouldn't the other guy ALSO not want anyone to know he was there? So NO WAY is the other guy there going to say the person they knew was there - because people would ask what they were doing there too!!!

So same with your situation as a child. The other kid will never mention this to anyone because he was also participating! (Not to worry - forgetaboutit!)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2015, 01:18 PM
 
7 posts, read 4,992 times
Reputation: 10
thank you that helps
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2015, 09:35 AM
 
22 posts, read 21,013 times
Reputation: 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
"Children" are NOT charged with sex crimes like an adult would be if he did that to a child. BIG difference!

Furthermore it is quite normal for kids to experiment and check out each other's parts. This is part of growing up and learning.

Note that there is no sexual interest as this was before puberty. Also note that high school boys will also experiment with each other - then go on to be totally straight - get married, etc. Perfectly normal. (Men do not talk about these things except sometimes on the internet.)

Anyway you have NOTHING to be concerned about. "Straight" means you are attracted to women. "Gay" means you are attracted to men. And it does not mean a whole lot these days anyway - your business what you prefer. And nothing wrong with what you did as a child - no one can "report" you for anything!

As for the "reporting" thing... Something which may help you... Grown straight men will sometimes go to a gay bar to meet another man to experiment with. And these men are SCARED to death that someone they know will be there, see them, and go tell everyone! Now let's think this through...

Wouldn't the other guy ALSO not want anyone to know he was there? So NO WAY is the other guy there going to say the person they knew was there - because people would ask what they were doing there too!!!

So same with your situation as a child. The other kid will never mention this to anyone because he was also participating! (Not to worry - forgetaboutit!)
Good points. This is clearly an example of children playing and really doesn't have any bearing on adult sexuality. The one way it could would be if you have thoughts in the present about sex or touching being wrong as a result that are getting in your way. If this continues to be a barrier for you, a qualified counselor should be able to help with that pretty easily.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-01-2015, 08:00 AM
 
Location: I live in reality.
1,109 posts, read 1,074,236 times
Reputation: 2157
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
If holding a girl feels terrible, bad and guilty, then you need to re-evaluate your feelings toward girls...
Looks like you don't like them much...
Where did you get that out of what he wrote? I got that he got MORE than he bargained for in a good way. The thing young guys sometimes feel guilty about is their erection that they get when touching a girl for the first times. I don't see that he dislikes females at all.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:22 AM.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top