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Old 05-28-2015, 10:50 PM
 
9,348 posts, read 5,307,739 times
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It's almost June and has been planning to come out to see me my dad since start of May for three day's. I saw my dad last year after not seeing or talking to him since 2005. I really didn't know when I be off from work started new job and can't predict my day's off until the schedule comes out. I have a three day weekend my dad could of seen me and in 2-3 week's have 4 day's off can see me.

I feel like I should tell him I am off. He called last week, but I don't know anymore. I can't explain it I feel terrible inside I don't know why I am afraid to start a relationship with my dad and that side of the family again. Am I a horrible person I just don't know.
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Old 05-29-2015, 02:27 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,322 posts, read 5,073,209 times
Reputation: 9781
Not a horrible person. If you are not ready yet, just tell him.
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Old 05-29-2015, 10:47 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 11,822,368 times
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Learn to communicate. If you know what days you will have off, let your dad know what days those are. If you don't know, let him know that as well.

It is called "making arrangements in advance".

Also "talking" is a WONDERFUL way to make advance arrangements. Try "talking" to your boss at work and asking if you could know what your schedule will be in advance. Say your dad wants to come visit you.
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Old 05-30-2015, 09:46 PM
 
13,080 posts, read 16,282,204 times
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You're not a horrible person. Something obviously has made you afraid. (for every action there is a reaction)
Try not to pressure yourself, if you're uncomfortable with it maybe you're not ready. There's nothing wrong with that.
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Old 05-30-2015, 10:56 PM
 
Location: Under the Redwoods
3,751 posts, read 6,495,531 times
Reputation: 6071
Good things can come from stepping outside of our comfort zone.
It's totally ok to be apprehensive about things we are unsure of.
As was said above, communicate. Don't stress yourself out trying to figure things out, sometimes it is best to just get in the back seat and see where you end up.
If you are anxious about spending time with your father, perhaps having to work during part of that visit would be a nice middle ground. It gives you a valid excuse to take a break from him a bit.
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Old 06-05-2015, 03:10 PM
 
Location: USA
1,589 posts, read 1,822,343 times
Reputation: 1659
Quote:
Originally Posted by RunD1987 View Post
It's almost June and has been planning to come out to see me my dad since start of May for three day's. I saw my dad last year after not seeing or talking to him since 2005. I really didn't know when I be off from work started new job and can't predict my day's off until the schedule comes out. I have a three day weekend my dad could of seen me and in 2-3 week's have 4 day's off can see me.

I feel like I should tell him I am off. He called last week, but I don't know anymore. I can't explain it I feel terrible inside I don't know why I am afraid to start a relationship with my dad and that side of the family again. Am I a horrible person I just don't know.
You are afraid. So it makes sense that you want to avoid facing that which could bring you pain. That's not being a horrible person.
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Old 06-05-2015, 06:01 PM
 
1,110 posts, read 894,798 times
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I agree with the posters that you are afraid of something. You have to sit down and ask yourself why your so apprehensive about re-entering that part of the family.

I have extended family members that I no longer communicate with and will only see at a funeral home sometimes. I choose not to be part of their drama and lies. My life is so much richer not having to deal with people like that. I wouldn't want them re-entering me life at all. I'm a good & honest person and stay away from people that aren't. It's for my mental health and maybe that's why you're afraid. You're not being horrible at all.
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Old 06-09-2015, 01:16 PM
 
9,348 posts, read 5,307,739 times
Reputation: 2200
Well see my dad in August. Waa afraid of him coming in because I felt my life was a horrible mess and ashamed of myself. I didn't want to deal with the rejection and embarsement of showing my dad how bad my life is. My fiancé encouraged me to see him though so that is good.
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