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Old 10-02-2011, 03:50 PM
 
2,631 posts, read 6,990,817 times
Reputation: 1408

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Well getting beaten down by life made me very bitter and it also sucked away any personality I had. I have no charisma, or no "mojo".

Even though I'm doing ok for 23 especially in this type of economy I'm not where I want to be in life and it had a psychological effect. I knew that it did but I had no idea the extent in which it did.

For example I would try to flirt with a girl but in the back of my mind I was still miserable. So I forced a smile and awkward body language would show instead of a natural smile and relaxed body language.


Stress ways me down as well. Women sense this and high tail it out of there. So I guess the saying is true, you have to be happy with yourself first before you can make someone else happy.

I don't know if any other guys went through the same thing or is going through the same thing.

I have to get myself to where I want to be in life before I talk to women because I'm just going to end up turning them off emotionally. I can get plenty of initial attraction but it means nothing if I'm bringing depression to the table. The thing is I did not realize how miserable I really am for a long time or how angry, sad, and mean I come off.
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Old 10-02-2011, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Blah
4,153 posts, read 9,232,939 times
Reputation: 3086
Stop taking life so seriously...no one gets out alive anyhow.
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Old 10-02-2011, 04:05 PM
 
Location: I currently live in Washington DC
135 posts, read 146,824 times
Reputation: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Veyron View Post
Well getting beaten down by life made me very bitter and it also sucked away any personality I had. I have no charisma, or no "mojo".

Even though I'm doing ok for 23 especially in this type of economy I'm not where I want to be in life and it had a psychological effect. I knew that it did but I had no idea the extent in which it did.

For example I would try to flirt with a girl but in the back of my mind I was still miserable. So I forced a smile and awkward body language would show instead of a natural smile and relaxed body language.


Stress ways me down as well. Women sense this and high tail it out of there. So I guess the saying is true, you have to be happy with yourself first before you can make someone else happy.

I don't know if any other guys went through the same thing or is going through the same thing.

I have to get myself to where I want to be in life before I talk to women because I'm just going to end up turning them off emotionally. I can get plenty of initial attraction but it means nothing if I'm bringing depression to the table. The thing is I did not realize how miserable I really am for a long time or how angry, sad, and mean I come off.
Truthfully....you remind me alot....of me right about now,same age and all.
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Old 10-02-2011, 04:11 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,058 posts, read 18,228,362 times
Reputation: 37120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Veyron View Post
Well getting beaten down by life made me very bitter and it also sucked away any personality I had. I have no charisma, or no "mojo".

Even though I'm doing ok for 23 especially in this type of economy I'm not where I want to be in life and it had a psychological effect. I knew that it did but I had no idea the extent in which it did.

For example I would try to flirt with a girl but in the back of my mind I was still miserable. So I forced a smile and awkward body language would show instead of a natural smile and relaxed body language.


Stress ways me down as well. Women sense this and high tail it out of there. So I guess the saying is true, you have to be happy with yourself first before you can make someone else happy.

I don't know if any other guys went through the same thing or is going through the same thing.

I have to get myself to where I want to be in life before I talk to women because I'm just going to end up turning them off emotionally. I can get plenty of initial attraction but it means nothing if I'm bringing depression to the table. The thing is I did not realize how miserable I really am for a long time or how angry, sad, and mean I come off.
You think it is bad now!!!

Just you wait until you've lived to reach your forties, etc!

At the youthful age of 23 , you should be really resilient and quickly able to bounce back.

If not, then there is something wrong! You may have depression!!! Treated early and you will be back to your old self. Let is fester, and the cycle never ends!
Good luck!

P.S. Everyone has his own sack of rocks to carry.
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Old 10-02-2011, 04:21 PM
 
4,098 posts, read 7,088,290 times
Reputation: 5682
OK, so what is keeping you from putting on your happy pants and enjoying life? Remember the choices you make in life now, you have to live with later...
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Old 10-02-2011, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,204 posts, read 2,519,540 times
Reputation: 1551
You need to shake yourself out of this rut. You are way too young to be having these kinds of problems. YOu know there are plenty of people out there that have had life problems, if they all got as down as you we'd have a bunch of mopy, depressed people walking around. Pull yourself up by the boot straps, get out there and enjoy your life.
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Old 10-02-2011, 04:37 PM
 
2,631 posts, read 6,990,817 times
Reputation: 1408
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauramc27 View Post
You need to shake yourself out of this rut. You are way too young to be having these kinds of problems. YOu know there are plenty of people out there that have had life problems, if they all got as down as you we'd have a bunch of mopy, depressed people walking around. Pull yourself up by the boot straps, get out there and enjoy your life.
It's hard. I keep thinking about my problems over and over again. It's almost addicting and a bad habit. Then when I think about them I get extremely angry. I should get over it but I can't.
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Old 10-02-2011, 04:38 PM
 
2,631 posts, read 6,990,817 times
Reputation: 1408
Quote:
Originally Posted by picklejuice View Post
You think it is bad now!!!

Just you wait until you've lived to reach your forties, etc!

At the youthful age of 23 , you should be really resilient and quickly able to bounce back.

If not, then there is something wrong! You may have depression!!! Treated early and you will be back to your old self. Let is fester, and the cycle never ends!
Good luck!

P.S. Everyone has his own sack of rocks to carry.
I think it will end when I have more money and out of the whole I'm in. 1600$ a month would cause deppresion. I need to change that to 16,000 a month to be happy. You can't live life without money. I'm working to survive I think thats why I'm really depressed.
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Old 10-02-2011, 04:43 PM
 
9,001 posts, read 10,137,173 times
Reputation: 14525
Quote:
Originally Posted by Veyron View Post
Well getting beaten down by life made me very bitter and it also sucked away any personality I had. I have no charisma, or no "mojo".

Even though I'm doing ok for 23 especially in this type of economy I'm not where I want to be in life and it had a psychological effect. I knew that it did but I had no idea the extent in which it did.

For example I would try to flirt with a girl but in the back of my mind I was still miserable. So I forced a smile and awkward body language would show instead of a natural smile and relaxed body language.


Stress ways me down as well. Women sense this and high tail it out of there. So I guess the saying is true, you have to be happy with yourself first before you can make someone else happy.

I don't know if any other guys went through the same thing or is going through the same thing.

I have to get myself to where I want to be in life before I talk to women because I'm just going to end up turning them off emotionally. I can get plenty of initial attraction but it means nothing if I'm bringing depression to the table. The thing is I did not realize how miserable I really am for a long time or how angry, sad, and mean I come off.
Ok, this is coming from personal experience: you're not ready to date. Work on yourself, first, becoming the kind of person you want to be. I'm just stating the obvious. But I've also been down...and when you're on your back, there's nowhere to go but up Once you get closer to where ya' want to be in life, you should be able to open up more to women, and attract the kind of woman that you desire.
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Old 10-02-2011, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Rockwall
677 posts, read 1,533,532 times
Reputation: 1128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Veyron View Post
It's hard. I keep thinking about my problems over and over again. It's almost addicting and a bad habit. Then when I think about them I get extremely angry. I should get over it but I can't.
Dude!!!!
Focus on the positive in your life. You've gotten yourself in better shape and you're healthier. This is a huge accomplishment and I know that it's not easy.
You have a job. It may not be your dream job.... Keep learning and getting the experience you need for something better.
You have a choice- be positive or dwell on what's negative.
What say you??
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