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Old 06-09-2015, 09:34 PM
 
2,601 posts, read 3,222,779 times
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By that I mean I almost feel like I have to keep it a secret. No one will believe it because I'm so good at faking my way through life when it comes to hiding my sadness. I just don't let many people in on it.

My marriage is falling apart. I do not have it in me to even try to fix it (very long story). I work, have children, and go to school full time. I have other issues from my past I have never been able to deal with. Everything is crashing in on me. I finally sought help with the understanding that meds are my last resort. My diagnoses are anxiety and major depression, and I begin therapy later this month. I have to get the sadness under control before I begin my final semester or I won't make it.

I'm also struggling because school is out and I no longer have that focus. I feel lost. So much of my life was wrapped up in just being a mother. I now realize the past few years most of my identity has been my life as an outstanding student with something to prove. Now I'm just lost. I don't think I really know who I am.

I exercise regularly, I work, and I try to keep busy. I don't just lie around the house. I force myself. If I'm busy, I'm much better off; but I'm starting to wonder if that's even healthy or just an avoidance measure.

I cannot believe this is my life right now.
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Old 06-09-2015, 09:46 PM
 
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Sorry you are going through this. My sister had depression & anxiety and the meds and therapy helped her tremendously; in fact she's been fine for several years. Give it some time and I think you'll be feeling better too.
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Old 06-10-2015, 02:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
Sorry you are going through this. My sister had depression & anxiety and the meds and therapy helped her tremendously; in fact she's been fine for several years. Give it some time and I think you'll be feeling better too.
Thank you. That's my goal. Can't let this thing take over my life.
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Old 06-11-2015, 02:33 PM
 
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Harpaint's right, good luck to you ShinyHappyLucy...it's great that you sought help.
You don't have to talk about your "diagnosis" to anyone you don't want. If you feel that someone might not believe you....don't let it bother you. The main thing is you'll probably feel a lot better soon...meds and therapy can be good.
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Old 06-11-2015, 08:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Harpaint's right, good luck to you ShinyHappyLucy...it's great that you sought help.
You don't have to talk about your "diagnosis" to anyone you don't want. If you feel that someone might not believe you....don't let it bother you. The main thing is you'll probably feel a lot better soon...meds and therapy can be good.
I'm doing everything in my power to avoid meds. I have one semester of nursing school left. It scares me meds could mess with me and cause me to be tired or to lose my focus. Even if they're not considered side effects, I still worry it could happen.
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Old 06-11-2015, 10:10 PM
 
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But they are side effects. The antidepressant I am currently on makes me really lazy, or lets me be very lazy. Also they really do a number on my short term memory. Multiple times a day I will start something, move on to something else, and totally forget about what I was just doing and forget to go back to finish it. It sounds like you need a little vacation. I realize those can be hard to take and cost money. Can you get to the beach for a few days, or just a day trip? In the last few years i've found the beach to be better than any antidepressant i've been on.
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Old 06-12-2015, 09:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Aquarius37 View Post
But they are side effects. The antidepressant I am currently on makes me really lazy, or lets me be very lazy. Also they really do a number on my short term memory. Multiple times a day I will start something, move on to something else, and totally forget about what I was just doing and forget to go back to finish it. It sounds like you need a little vacation. I realize those can be hard to take and cost money. Can you get to the beach for a few days, or just a day trip? In the last few years i've found the beach to be better than any antidepressant i've been on.
I vaguely thought I remembered that from psych last semester but was too lazy to look it up. I'm going to keep fighting it as naturally as possible. Right now I don't have school to focus on and that's making it a lot more difficult. I'll probably be a good bit better once the next semester starts and I'm busy every second of my life. I hate that I tend to do better that way because no one can live every second of their life like that, but it's temporary till I can figure out another way to deal with it.
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Old 06-13-2015, 01:24 AM
 
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One thing you could try is Vitamin D 400-800 mg. since you are hesitant to take meds.

BTW I'm an RN too! Hope you're hanging in there.
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