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Old 08-07-2015, 07:24 PM
 
10,892 posts, read 1,750,582 times
Reputation: 3310

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Flower View Post
I know it hard to talk in person but the positive is you have started.

Here is an idea. When you are trying to talk to them, close your eyes & pretend it is a CD person.

I do understand your wanting to be able to post at CD. If you decide the hospital would be best (could help you quicker and start your plan for better health)- anyway, if the hospital would help you, we would be here when you finish!

Remember your mental health is imporant, do what is best.

I took a nap too and I woke from a dream that made me think that the people in the dream were in my apt. I was confused the dream world with RL! Strange.
.
I am glad u have ppl to talk with. Maybe print out what you told us here and share/ read to them?

Best wishes
Thank you!

 
Old 08-12-2015, 12:32 PM
 
10,892 posts, read 1,750,582 times
Reputation: 3310
I know this thread isn't a diary or journal but I don't know where to say this, so I think here is the best place. So, I'm not getting better, currently I can't keep the appointments with my doctor and psychologist because of a surgery I had the 10, some very bad ingrown nails for the people who may want to know, I'm stuck here and my health seem to worsen every day a little more, this make me feel enormously discouraged and isolated. Like I said in another post I try very hard to hope for better days but inside I know doing this is just hurting me even more and I really don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm scared and when I have to explain how I feel, I can't because it's too blurry and confused and a mix of so many things that it just doesn't make any sense at all. Also I think I've gone too far with my feelings and now it's too late to go back, but I wish I could because i've screwed things up and I'm too clumsy to know the right thing to do with it all.
I'm not good enough so all the people I love end up leaving me without a word
I'm ashamed of myself, so I know people can't love someone like me, I'malways complaining, it's like I'm just a stupid waste of space and air and each time I try to say something, it just sound agressive or rude or idiotic or naive or a mix of it all, I never know what to say, what to feel, what to do, so I just do nothing or do things but badly and other people have a bad image of me and it just make me cry stupidly because all I've ever wanted was to be worth something but no matter how I look at myself or at my life, there is nothing good in there and it will always be like that because I'm nothing, and nothing people like me just have to stay on the ground and shut up, never trying to ask for help ever again, I've learned that

Sorry, I know this thread has been open for a while now, but in fact I just really need(ed) to talk. To say things...

Thank you.

Last edited by Eden Morlevent; 08-12-2015 at 12:46 PM..
 
Old 08-12-2015, 03:42 PM
 
Location: On the East Coast
51,697 posts, read 13,621,013 times
Reputation: 80837
Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ- View Post
I know this thread isn't a diary or journal but I don't know where to say this, so I think here is the best place. So, I'm not getting better, currently I can't keep the appointments with my doctor and psychologist because of a surgery I had the 10, some very bad ingrown nails for the people who may want to know, I'm stuck here and my health seem to worsen every day a little more, this make me feel enormously discouraged and isolated. Like I said in another post I try very hard to hope for better days but inside I know doing this is just hurting me even more and I really don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm scared and when I have to explain how I feel, I can't because it's too blurry and confused and a mix of so many things that it just doesn't make any sense at all. Also I think I've gone too far with my feelings and now it's too late to go back, but I wish I could because i've screwed things up and I'm too clumsy to know the right thing to do with it all.
I'm not good enough so all the people I love end up leaving me without a word
I'm ashamed of myself, so I know people can't love someone like me, I'malways complaining, it's like I'm just a stupid waste of space and air and each time I try to say something, it just sound agressive or rude or idiotic or naive or a mix of it all, I never know what to say, what to feel, what to do, so I just do nothing or do things but badly and other people have a bad image of me and it just make me cry stupidly because all I've ever wanted was to be worth something but no matter how I look at myself or at my life, there is nothing good in there and it will always be like that because I'm nothing, and nothing people like me just have to stay on the ground and shut up, never trying to ask for help ever again, I've learned that

Sorry, I know this thread has been open for a while now, but in fact I just really need(ed) to talk. To say things...

Thank you.
DJ, don't ever give up on yourself. Life can be difficult but there is always hope for better days ahead. Try and be strong.
 
Old 08-12-2015, 05:03 PM
 
26,157 posts, read 16,313,373 times
Reputation: 17235
No dont ever give up DJ!!!!!
 
Old 08-12-2015, 10:39 PM
 
Location: I'm out searching for me... If you see me, let me know... ;--)
3,551 posts, read 1,998,137 times
Reputation: 8070
DJ I will also say do not give up!

Listen please. You are good, not bad. I also felt I was bad. I know the pain when I felt totally worthless.

DJ, just because you feel worthless does NOT make it so.

You are a wonderful human being. AGAIN YOU ARE a wonderful human being.

Start here, with this Truth.

Try this- a small thing I know you can try.

Say out loud:

I am goog enough.
I am good enough.
I am good enough.

Will you try this? Every morning and every night or ANY TIME you feel hopeless?

You may not believe it. Do it anyway. It is something you can do. Remember people here believe that it is true, it is like you can carry us with you.

Dear DJ, you can make it. I believe in your good heart.

Have a good Thursday and let us know how you are.

Last edited by Wild Flower; 08-12-2015 at 10:53 PM..
 
Old 08-13-2015, 09:57 AM
Status: "Time to take out the trash." (set 14 days ago)
 
4,548 posts, read 2,724,093 times
Reputation: 40846
DJ, you have a lot of people here who care about you! I know you can make it past the trying times you are having right now. Hugs............I know better days are in your future!!
 
Old 08-13-2015, 07:17 PM
 
3,115 posts, read 2,467,704 times
Reputation: 4937
I think it must be even harder to deal with when you are having mental health issues combined with physical health issues. At least give it a chance for the physical to get under control as that might be easier and quicker to accomplish. When you are fighting infection or feeling weak, it is very hard to feel ok mentally. you really do have a lot to deal with and it really is draining you. Please don't let it defeat you- you are a very intelligent articulate person and you will feel better.
see how many people on here are looking after you? we really do care.
 
Old 08-14-2015, 03:10 AM
 
26,157 posts, read 16,313,373 times
Reputation: 17235
Smile *

Very nice responses everyone!!!
 
Old 08-14-2015, 05:01 AM
 
10,892 posts, read 1,750,582 times
Reputation: 3310
Hello everyone,

Thank you for all the kind and helpful responses, I'm very touched and very grateful. I met some wonderful people here and I want them to know that I care for them a lot too.

I'd like to be strong, but it's a bit hard. CD is an incredible place when you know where to look, and even if I'm not getting better physically since I posted my first message, I feel a little better in my head, I know that many understand me and know what it's like to be in my situation, so thank you again for all the time everyone took in their lives to let me a message and help me feeling less worthless.

Last edited by Eden Morlevent; 08-14-2015 at 05:16 AM..
 
Old 08-14-2015, 12:53 PM
 
26,157 posts, read 16,313,373 times
Reputation: 17235
Thank you for the kind words DJ
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