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Old 06-24-2015, 12:42 PM
 
10,892 posts, read 1,750,582 times
Reputation: 3310

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My mother don't love me.
I think that I know why I don't want to live anymore, apart from my bad health, I have a mother who just don't want me around her anymore.
That's my "life"...

I have this other problems too, I don't know how to socialize with people, I'd like to be funny and agreeable and all, but I can't, I'm always sad, depressed, I can't just forget that I'm going to have surgery soon, I can't be funny, so people don't talk to me because I'm depressive and I made them depressed... I ask too many questions too, "is it ok ?" "did i do something wrong ?" "are you mad at me ?" "what are you doing ?".... when people are not responding to me I feel bad, I reread my posts and ask myself continuously "what have i done ?", other people have their lives i know, but the first thing si think is "i did something wrong and they don't want to talk to me anymore", is that normal ? i'm like that for everything, for my operations, with the doctor it's the same, i ask him a million things, and it's like that with strangers too, i ask them questions, because i want to do things Ok, so i ask them things, but other people don't want me to, they just think i'm insane and they want me to leave them alone, some are too polite to say "f*** ***" so they just ignore me...
I really don't know what to do with myself.
Even when I think it's already the worst, it's getting worsier, I don't know how that works.

Last edited by Eden Morlevent; 06-24-2015 at 01:03 PM..

 
Old 06-24-2015, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
602 posts, read 594,702 times
Reputation: 583
Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ- View Post
My mother don't love me.
I think that I know why I don't want to live anymore, apart from my bad health, I have a mother who just don't want me around her anymore.
That's my "life"...

I have this other problems too, I don't know how to socialize with people, I'd like to be funny and agreeable and all, but I can't, I'm always sad, depressed, I can't just forget that I'm going to have surgery soon, I can't be funny, so people don't talk to me because I'm depressive and I made them depressed... I ask too many questions too, "is it ok ?" "did i do something wrong ?" "are you mad at me ?" "what are you doing ?".... when people are not responding to me I feel bad, I reread my posts and ask myself continuously "what have i done ?", other people have their lives i know, but the first thing si think is "i did something wrong and they don't want to talk to me anymore", is that normal ? i'm like that for everything, for my operations, with the doctor it's the same, i ask him a million things, and it's like that with strangers too, i ask them questions, because i want to do things Ok, so i ask them things, but other people don't want me to, they just think i'm insane and they want me to leave them alone, some are too polite to say "f*** ***" so they just ignore me...
I really don't know what to do with myself.
Even when I think it's already the worst, it's getting worsier, I don't know how that works.
Sorry, I didn't read the entire thread, but it sounds as if you do worry too much of what others think of you. If you want people to respond well to you, you need to become a person that is first ok with yourself. Perhaps you should just work on liking yourself first and others will follow. That is one lesson I have learned and still struggle with at times. I firmly believe that depression is "hate turned inward". Try to discover what you like about yourself and be OK with yourself, even if you are alone. I think that is the first step. Sorry if I am repeating someone else's advice or post.
 
Old 06-24-2015, 01:27 PM
 
10,892 posts, read 1,750,582 times
Reputation: 3310
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annilyna View Post
Sorry, I didn't read the entire thread, but it sounds as if you do worry too much of what others think of you. If you want people to respond well to you, you need to become a person that is first ok with yourself. Perhaps you should just work on liking yourself first and others will follow. That is one lesson I have learned and still struggle with at times. I firmly believe that depression is "hate turned inward". Try to discover what you like about yourself and be OK with yourself, even if you are alone. I think that is the first step. Sorry if I am repeating someone else's advice or post.
Thank your for answering, I'm always grateful for any reply.

Oh yes, I think/worry too much of what other people think. I'm self-conscious too. I overanalyze everything all the time. You know sometimes, it's just "a little thing" for everyone but it look like a mountain to me. I know it's not normal but I can't do all the things at once, so now I've got surgery, and if I'm still alive after all of that again, maybe I'll try again to work on myself, but there is a lot to do and it's very discouraging.

Thank you again for your advice, much appreciated.
 
Old 06-24-2015, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
602 posts, read 594,702 times
Reputation: 583
Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ- View Post
Thank your for answering, I'm always grateful for any reply.

Oh yes, I think/worry too much of what other people think. I'm self-conscious too. I overanalyze everything all the time. You know sometimes, it's just "a little thing" for everyone but it look like a mountain to me. I know it's not normal but I can't do all the things at once, so now I've got surgery, and if I'm still alive after all of that again, maybe I'll try again to work on myself, but there is a lot to do and it's very discouraging.

Thank you again for your advice, much appreciated.
Good luck with everything and I hope your surgery goes well. Really - you can't control what others think of you, and don't waste your time or energy worrying about others. Take care of yourself. Feel free to PM me if you just want to chat.
 
Old 06-25-2015, 02:51 PM
 
10,892 posts, read 1,750,582 times
Reputation: 3310
I'm so so, stupid, I need to grow up, understand that the world is not full of hugs, kisses and people that loves each other instantly, but I really don't know why I don't seem to be able to integrate that and I do the same mistakes over and over again.
Why is everything so hard ?
 
Old 06-25-2015, 10:59 PM
 
35,312 posts, read 43,907,305 times
Reputation: 30762
You in Montreal DJ? if so i can recommend a life coach who helped me a great deal when i got to a point in life where i was out of gas physically and mentally,I went through several psychologists and found them to be useless,they just go by their book, no real personal interaction or personal interest.
6 sessions with the life coach had me back on track with a renewed passion and purpose to life.
 
Old 06-26-2015, 02:17 AM
 
10,892 posts, read 1,750,582 times
Reputation: 3310
Quote:
Originally Posted by jambo101 View Post
You in Montreal DJ? if so i can recommend a life coach who helped me a great deal when i got to a point in life where i was out of gas physically and mentally,I went through several psychologists and found them to be useless,they just go by their book, no real personal interaction or personal interest.
6 sessions with the life coach had me back on track with a renewed passion and purpose to life.
I'm not in Montreal, no, I'm in France, so...

Thank you still for your proposition.

J.
 
Old 06-26-2015, 06:00 AM
 
3,114 posts, read 2,467,704 times
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Very sorry to read your posts- I am confused though. You said you have injections of morphine along with some other meds? What are you being treated for? I might have missed it but I tried to re-read the thread and I don't quite follow.
Also, how old are you?
I am hoping you have better days and get some good news and suggestions.
 
Old 06-26-2015, 06:23 AM
 
10,892 posts, read 1,750,582 times
Reputation: 3310
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayvenne View Post
Very sorry to read your posts- I am confused though. You said you have injections of morphine along with some other meds? What are you being treated for? I might have missed it but I tried to re-read the thread and I don't quite follow.
Also, how old are you?
I am hoping you have better days and get some good news and suggestions.
Yes, two morphin injections by a nurse who come home. But I'm going to have to stop because I can't mix my meds together. I don't know how things work where you are ? The other medicine I take are xanax and lamaline for anxiety and pain, but lamaline is so useless, that's why I take morphin, you know it's that sort of pain that goes through your body from head to toe ? I'm still waiting for my tests results also, that's why I'm also confused about my own situation, so I try to not say things that I'm not sure of.
And my health situation is a little complicated, I can't really summarize it in just a few words, English isn't my mother tongue so I have some difficulty writing precicely what is really going on, I'm sorry if I don't make any sens and I confuse you.
I'm treated for ingrown nails, bad head and bones pain ((morphin) that I still don't know where it come from) and some other things I don't want to talk here. So I know it's a little stupid because I come here for advice but I don't tell everything to everyone.
I'm 20.
And thank you really, I'm a bit overwhelmed by everything, so I really appreciate any reply.

There is also that decapitated man on the news, I'm not really "surprised" but sometimes I just really wish the ground open and swallow me.

Last edited by Eden Morlevent; 06-26-2015 at 06:33 AM..
 
Old 06-26-2015, 06:48 AM
 
35,312 posts, read 43,907,305 times
Reputation: 30762
Only 20 you've got your whole life ahead of you.

Life is a voyage that starts at a point A and ends at a point B for some its a long enjoyable ride, for others its over soon after it starts and for others its a long journey of pain , suffering,and mental anguish which sounds like the trip you are on DJ. I'm not sure how fixable your medical maladies are DJ but i would suggest getting a large dose of positiveness into your life,it cant hurt and may improve your outlook on life.
Remember life is the greatest gift of all,dont waste the experience as you only get one chance at it.
A book called "the Secret" by Rhonda Byrne i found very helpful in getting me on the positive side of life, a French version is available,
http://www.blogparanormal.com/parano...ensee-magique/

Last edited by jambo101; 06-26-2015 at 07:55 AM..
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