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Old 06-30-2015, 08:28 AM
 
9,352 posts, read 5,307,739 times
Reputation: 2200

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Hi, lately been down, lost, and losing hope. Work schedule is having a major effect on my mental health with the lack of consistency, ever changing hour's, and never set schedule.

In addition to, having at times too many day's off...work three day's off five day's or work five day's off for five day's. With time off I just want to withdraw myself from the world and then overwhelm myself with negative thoughts and just don't want to wake up.

However, hoping to change it. It is a bit stressful a lot is riding on this new job prospect. Hoping to be transfered to a night job closer to home with my company working full time.

That would allow me to have a consistent work schedule. Time to return to college. More income to pay off bill's and possibly indulge on activities to keep my mind preoccupied.

Thinking will help with my mind is planning to join the YMCA and maybe a running/swimming club to socialize with people. A nursing student club at my community college or/and hiking club. Hope to get involved in some volunteer opportunities with my church.

Maybe pick up an on call second job.

Fiancé is starting nursing school in the fall so time together will be limited. However, we planned up until October to camp one weekend a month. Hoping to make another weekend trip to Cape Cod again. Also planning on going country/line dancing once a month. Also up to November planning to hike every other weekend.

Also looking probably to learn a language and maybe do paint by number/work on book writing. Definitely going to read more hopefully watch less of TV.

Planning to save up to fix and buy my car. Save up for the wedding and save up for a place to rent.

It's a bit nerve-racking everything hinges on whether or not I get this job transfer, stressful.
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Old 06-30-2015, 03:30 PM
 
9,352 posts, read 5,307,739 times
Reputation: 2200
Not sure if my work ethic is messed up. My mom says should forget about my fiancé will still be there and work as many hours as possible. However, I worked 60 to 70 hour's for three month's about 2 year's ago in another psych hospital. That's when I had my first break. I maybe pick up two extra days a month, but that was when I was close to work and had a set schedule.

I think traveling two hour's round trip, rotating schedule, and work environment just adds to the stress and depression. The travel eats away at my wallet to and financially I am already struggle, so it's a catch 22...financial struggles add on to the depression.

I don't know why I am such a hot mess.
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Old 06-30-2015, 03:52 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
602 posts, read 594,492 times
Reputation: 583
Sounds you may be feeling overwhelmed - which is perfectly natural and justified, as it sounds like you have a lot of things happening in your life. Have you tried mindful meditation exercises? Sometimes that helps some people.

You can also try to make a list, to help prioritize the events going on in your life, and how much time and effort you will devote to each one. Try not to spread yourself too thin. Find out what your long-term goals are, and see what events happening NOW are helping you achieve those goals, and which do not.
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Old 06-30-2015, 05:43 PM
 
9,352 posts, read 5,307,739 times
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I tried prioritizing but feel so limited with finances and work ha
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Old 06-30-2015, 11:04 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
602 posts, read 594,492 times
Reputation: 583
Hey, you and me both! I also had a lot going on personally (painful divorce and other things that I won't get into) all at once.

Thankfully, I had family members that could offer me support and guidance.

Do you have loved ones that you can lean on during these trying times? You mentioned you are engaged, and you have your mother - do you feel, that if you explain your feelings truthfully to them, that you can trust their guidance and perhaps they can see what they can do to help lessen or at least ease your burdens? Sometimes just moral support, the feeling that they understand, or them empathizing can do wonders. Be open and honest - sometimes it does more harm than good, if you pretend to be stronger for their sake or for appearances, or think that you can just take it all on your shoulders.
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Old 07-01-2015, 03:31 AM
 
9,352 posts, read 5,307,739 times
Reputation: 2200
I feel like a burden to my fiance and my mom believes depression is just an excuse making it up

Appreciate the feedback
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