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Old 07-28-2015, 07:51 AM
 
676 posts, read 785,145 times
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Wow, how great to have him back again. I am expecting the same thing. This am he said he felt drained but it will take a few weeks to adjust. Thanks
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Old 07-28-2015, 08:54 AM
 
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Originally Posted by tarajane2013 View Post
Wow, how great to have him back again. I am expecting the same thing. This am he said he felt drained but it will take a few weeks to adjust. Thanks

Now that you mention it, one of the biggest symptoms my husband had re the dementia was fatigue and sleeping too much. He couldn't even stay up and watch a movie until 10 pm before, but this is getting better too. I hope you'll see good improvement and post about it. The whole thing is so scarey.
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Old 07-28-2015, 09:42 AM
 
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I will post good or bad, but I can't wait. I am having more tolerance now ever since my doc had to tell me he can't help it. Good luck to all. The roads will long and hard but we will all be here to help. I know you have helped me. We will all smooth the roads and make them livable.
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Old 07-28-2015, 12:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tarajane2013 View Post
I will post good or bad, but I can't wait. I am having more tolerance now ever since my doc had to tell me he can't help it. Good luck to all. The roads will long and hard but we will all be here to help. I know you have helped me. We will all smooth the roads and make them livable.

Thanks. There are so many stressful aspects to this, we all need support and sharing information.
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Old 07-29-2015, 06:07 AM
 
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Right now my husband is so pissed off. He keeps saying well, you know I have Alz....He is just mad at the world. I really can't take much more. He wants his own car even tho we have a truck and I am not working and will take him anywhere anytime but he says that's not he point. I don't want him to drive he is on so many meds. I don't know when but the doc said 2 weeks for it to kick in well I don't know if I can wait that long. I'm not sure what to do . We both agree that we don't make enough money to separate. He said I could have 2/3 and he the rest yeah right. I am in such a low valley right now. Then sometime today he will apologize for the things said this morning. My doc put me on Buspar to help me deal with all this. I have been on it for 3 days so I am waiting........
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Old 07-29-2015, 07:55 AM
 
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I'm really sorry this is happening. They hate losing their independence and can get really mad about it, which is understandable but hard to deal with.

I tried to quit arguing and told my husband that I just don't like to be apart from him because it makes me feel insecure. He fell for it and never realized that the reason I felt insecure was from worrying if he was lost or something (he had gotten lost twice and strangers at a gas station called me). I also found that it helped to thank him for little things like making a good cup of coffee or putting the sheets in the dryer, like you would a child.

I hope the Buspar helps you survive.
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Old 07-31-2015, 09:36 AM
 
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Monday night I am going to my first Alz. group meeting. I told my husband it is for anger management for me but it kind of the same thing. I get so angry at him. He is still pissed off and so angry. He packed his bag and was going to his sister's but I told him that is not the way to settle all this back and forth bickering. We even argue about how to put our pops in the fridge, now how sad is that !!! He forgets things that I KNOW he should remember and that makes me see red. See, it's not all his fault. I am so angry that he is not the man I married and it's not all his fault. He is not the "man of the family" now. I do everything. He fell yesterday coming out of the house cause he had crummy shoes on and really banged his arm, well guess what, that pissed me off. He KNEW not to wear those shoes out and I told him that but you think he would listen or did he just forget. I really hope this group helps or I am going to go off somewhere.........Thank you all for listening.
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Old 07-31-2015, 02:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tarajane2013 View Post
He forgets things that I KNOW he should remember and that makes me see red. See, it's not all his fault. I am so angry that he is not the man I married and it's not all his fault. He is not the "man of the family" now. I do everything. He fell yesterday coming out of the house cause he had crummy shoes on and really banged his arm, well guess what, that pissed me off. He KNEW not to wear those shoes out and I told him that but you think he would listen or did he just forget. I really hope this group helps or I am going to go off somewhere.........Thank you all for listening.
First let me say I'm very sorry you have to go through this. My mother had this awful disease for years. I know it's extremely difficult for the caregiver.

I'm going to speak very plainly here but you absolutely don't KNOW what he should remember. He has Alzheimer's. He may forget what you told him 3 minutes ago or something that you literally told him 100 times. He may have forgotten to wear better shoes and/or he may not know any better now. It happens with the disease. Alzheimer's also affects their ability to walk and coordination so he may not be steady on his feet. He may fall more. I know how hard it can be on the family but none of this is his fault. I would not argue with him over the little things (like pops in the fridge). It will just upset both of you. After she got the disease, my Mom used to tell us she made the best key lime pie ever and I know for a fact she never made key lime pie in her life. We would just agree with her and tell her it was the best.

You also need to figure out a support system for YOU - friends, family and little things you can do for yourself (a relaxing bath, a box of good chocolate, etc.) to help you get through this because it's only going to get harder.

I hope that the group helps you and gives you some good resources.

Last edited by Rowan123; 07-31-2015 at 02:25 PM..
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Old 07-31-2015, 05:45 PM
 
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Thank you for speaking plainly. I wonder how long I will be in denial ??? Do these patients even in the very early stages get very sarcastic and mean talking sometimes ? Now, our best friends for life live near us and now he seems so very jealous of him. He has 2 Harleys, a mini coop, a HD truck and a HD trailer. everything he would want. But now he could not ride a HD..he can barely walk ;-( he has always been accident prone but now he has fallen 2 times in the last two weeks. And guess what, yep it makes me mad. That's my problem though. I am going to try and glean everything I can from my group Monday. I really sometimes I think it would be a good thing if we just moved to FL..we have a house in mind if you have read my other posts. It's just a matter of driving down and looking at it. Maybe driving down would give me some idea of what he is feeling and how he travels. Thanks to everyone and I will report back after Monday. I can't believe this is happening to me/us.
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Old 08-01-2015, 11:26 AM
 
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This morning out of the blue DH said " I wish I had an old Harley like the one I had a long time ago." Guess what, yeah I got pissed. (he can't help it) I said yeah, how in the world do you think now you can ride a Harley. They don't drive themselves. He said Hell, all you got to do is lift your foot to change gears and I said what about when you stop does it balance all by itself. He yeah. He can't lift his left arm to take a shower how in the hell is he going to hold on to the handlebars. I just frikin give up My face went numb and my heart raced. Thanks for being here. My keyboard is taking a beating........
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