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Old 08-11-2015, 07:57 AM
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,855 posts, read 1,064,707 times
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I assure you - He hears you... He hears all of us... He just has a way of teaching us - and sometimes it takes us a long time to learn... Ask for patience, and wow... He'll make you learn about it... Do you know why a room is quiet during the test? It's because the teacher isn't talking...

When I refer to 'they' I'm referring to those with this dreadful disease...

They don't like change. They like today to be like yesterday - or else they are confused.
Make the move - assuring him of how great the new place is - if he comes up with a good reason for the move, then use his reason and keep assuring him that you're taking good care of him and that you'll always be together... in other words, keep loving him, holding him, ensuring him that it'll be ok...

When you move, try to arrange the furniture like it was where he is now. Try to keep as much as you can like it is now - learning new places, the arrangement of furniture - all that confuses and frustrates them...

They trend to have 'sundowners' - which means when the sun goes down, sometimes their moods change and typically for the worse. They can become combative - can argue... all after the sun goes down.

They'll place things in the weirdest places - they'll say that someone stole their item that they've placed... All the while, it drives the caregiver crazy having to not only having to find what they've misplaced, but letting them know that they are safe and nobody's going to hurt them or steal from them.

Most of all - and this one's a tough one - If he tells you that the sky is red, it's red. There's no point in arguing your point, no matter how valid. Let them think whatever they want to think, and don't argue or correct. It won't matter in 30 minutes as they'll no longer even remember that there was a discussion about the color of the sky... In this example, just look up and say, "And isn't it a pretty shade of red? - Do you remember the sunset we saw when we went ...." and let it go.

I AM SURE - that you'll do just fine. You'll certainly have your ups and your downs - but God doesn't give you more than you can handle... and when people tell me that I want to reply with, 'He sure has a lot more confidence in what I can handle than I DO!...."

I wish you nothing but happiness while dealing with this - God selected you to be his caretaker - and HE doesn't make mistakes... you won't either... Keep loving Him and him... and I know your husband will appreciate your support - even if he's not able to say or show it...
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Old 08-11-2015, 10:22 AM
4,287 posts, read 3,147,307 times
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Originally Posted by tarajane2013 View Post
I wonder if this is a rapid disease if so how rapid ?
No way to tell, unfortunately. My mother suffered with it for 10 years. There are some averages I believe on the Alzheimer's Association web site.

I know people are telling you to do what makes you happy but as you know, it's not that simple. Those people are not going to be there in Florida to help you.

Do you friends or family where you will be moving? If not, I'd think very long and very hard about going as it may be more difficult to meet people and make friends in your situation.

Have you thought through what happens if you get sick (or heaven forbid are hospitalized)? Is there someone who he can stay with or can stay with him? If not, I'd be sure to get a care giving service lined up that you could call in an emergency.

Personally, I would not want the increased work load of a farm (even if it's just chickens and a small garden) and caring for an Alzheimer's patient. It can be like having a toddler at home that can't remember things.

I mentioned this in my earlier post, is the property something that can be sold quickly if you change your mind or decide 5 years from now that you need to move to the city? If not, do you have the financial resources to get another place to live while that one is for sale? Have you considered all the other financial impacts of his illness and the move?

I really would start at thread in the caregivers forum (or ask that this be moved) on this topic as they will no doubt have some additional insight.
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Old 08-11-2015, 12:29 PM
676 posts, read 784,829 times
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Thank you Tumf, we looked at both houses today and we both liked them. He was thinking where he could put his outside chair while he reads and the other things we could do around there and I could have my chickens ,etc. Thank all of you. Will keep you posted. My very best to you all. Long, hard road a comin
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Old 08-11-2015, 04:50 PM
676 posts, read 784,829 times
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How in the world do you handle all the mood swings ????? He has started speaking softer and when I say HUH he gets very irritated. How fast can this proceed?? Morning is different noon is different afternoon is different night is probably the worst. How do you do it...Please help.. I am in FL and feel all alone with him in this state. But I do have friends here that helps. They want me to come down asap while he is still ok.Thanks
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Old 08-12-2015, 06:01 AM
16,719 posts, read 15,744,777 times
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Please take these questions to the Caregiving forum.

Do you not see how being in Florida alone is going to be a nightmare for you? I strongly urge you to stay where you are.
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Old 08-12-2015, 06:05 AM
676 posts, read 784,829 times
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will do thanks
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