U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-30-2015, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Birmingham, Alabama
2,056 posts, read 2,096,969 times
Reputation: 3534

Advertisements

Well, the title sort of says it all. Turning 40 August 19. Born in Chattanooga, TN nearly 40 years ago.

I am proud of the small family I have. But I wish I had accomplished more to this point. As a person who suffers from bouts of depression, I'm trying to fight off those feelings as best as I can. Feelings of failure, incompletion, loss, etc.

I don't want my family see me regress. At this time. But I've lived a life of physical fitness, worked as an actor in TV, film, and commercial, and had a career in business fields such as accounting, taxation, and investment brokerage. But the world has changed, and I've changed. Having been married to the same wonderful lady for 16 years, raising two daughters together, I feel claustrophobic. And I have felt that way since 2010. I've struggled so much. And made her struggle too. And my children, I am sure as well.

I feel like a relocation would do me some good, and I've wanted to move to the west coast for a few years now, but it's just not a financially prudent move. I feel like we would struggle more than here in Alabama.

I'm looking for answers, but just thought I'd share here, since this is really my only online exposure, have very few personal friends, and no one I can share these thoughts with except for my wife, who already knows it all. She and I just can't find another perspective, or any semblance of an answer.

Thanks for reading. I love you all.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-31-2015, 07:13 AM
 
Location: So Ca
18,267 posts, read 16,805,525 times
Reputation: 15923
You sound as if you've accomplished a lot! Milestone birthdays are hard for a lot of people. You'll be fine.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-31-2015, 07:17 AM
 
761 posts, read 687,922 times
Reputation: 2230
I've been 21, 3 times over.
Wait until you reach my age.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-31-2015, 02:24 PM
 
4,287 posts, read 3,147,307 times
Reputation: 9564
Quote:
Originally Posted by CA4Now View Post
You sound as if you've accomplished a lot! Milestone birthdays are hard for a lot of people. You'll be fine.
I agree. You should be proud of what you've accomplished. Maybe talking to a therapist would help you process things.

Relocation doesn't sound like a good choice to me. You may find that you've just moved your challenges to a different geographic location.

Happy early birthday!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-31-2015, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Imaginary Figment
11,456 posts, read 13,100,228 times
Reputation: 4772
I am 44 now and have enjoyed my 40's probably more than any other age group.

Who defined the word "accomplishment"? You? Or was that an outside idea pre-packaged for us via decades of marketing? I'd imagine the latter. Marketing enslaves our minds, and ultimately makes us miserable. We end up thinking it's (whatever "it" may be at the time) never enough.

Sit alone and ask yourself what ultimately makes you content. When the answer comes, examine the origins a bit more. Why was that your answer? Where did that thought come from? If you can manage to go deep enough, an entire new life will unfold in front of you.

I only wish I had been so introspective many years ago.

Good luck.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-31-2015, 06:16 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,068 posts, read 15,250,400 times
Reputation: 36870
Save the world and then get back to us!


Happy 40th! You're alive and well--right? Your kids are healthy? Your wife is nice?

CELEBRATE!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-01-2015, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Philaburbia
33,665 posts, read 62,582,537 times
Reputation: 56347
Hang on ... It gets better once you realize that turning 40 is the most liberating thing that's happened to you so far.

It will come. I hit a major wall at 39 -- single, in a stale career, not really happy with where I was, compounded by the death of my father. It took me about a year and a half to work through the blues and the grief, until I reached the point where I just said "eff this!", found a new job that made me much happier, and proceeded to get on with life.

In the meantime, take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Eat well, get plenty of exercise, spend time with your precious family.

And happy birthday.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-01-2015, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Nashville, TN -
6,914 posts, read 3,665,749 times
Reputation: 8321
SLCPUNK and Ohio girl are bang on about one's 40s being a fabulous time. I have absolutely loved my 40s, and I'm sad that they're coming to an end in the next couple of years. They certainly haven't been without difficulties or self-doubt or unexpected detours, because they've given a fair share. And, yet, they truly HAVE been the most freeing, the most fortifying, the most fun years ever.

The other posters are right: you will discover more of your talents and strengths, and (at the risk of sounding trite), you will become more grateful for what you have and less anxious about what you don't. I think the 40s are a gift that keeps giving, because these years finally (hopefully) teach us to not sweat the small stuff.

Happy Birthday, OP, and welcome to one of the best periods of your life. Enjoy!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-04-2015, 01:15 PM
 
Location: Birmingham, Alabama
2,056 posts, read 2,096,969 times
Reputation: 3534
Quote:
Originally Posted by newdixiegirl View Post
SLCPUNK and Ohio girl are bang on about one's 40s being a fabulous time. I have absolutely loved my 40s, and I'm sad that they're coming to an end in the next couple of years. They certainly haven't been without difficulties or self-doubt or unexpected detours, because they've given a fair share. And, yet, they truly HAVE been the most freeing, the most fortifying, the most fun years ever.

The other posters are right: you will discover more of your talents and strengths, and (at the risk of sounding trite), you will become more grateful for what you have and less anxious about what you don't. I think the 40s are a gift that keeps giving, because these years finally (hopefully) teach us to not sweat the small stuff.

Happy Birthday, OP, and welcome to one of the best periods of your life. Enjoy!
Thank you DixieGirl and keep riding that bike! One of my fave pastimes too!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-04-2015, 01:22 PM
 
2,002 posts, read 2,868,628 times
Reputation: 3728
I'm 71 and feeling great. I have a wonderful wife that I've known for 42 years and I work out at the gym 3 times a week. Wives are great. I've had 3 of them. The first two were for practice. lol
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:29 PM.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top