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Old 08-05-2015, 01:14 PM
8 posts, read 8,008 times
Reputation: 27


My husband has recently been diagnosed with MCI. It seems to me that he is much worse than the information that I read about MCI and what the doctor's have told me. I don't know if I am just in a panic, or if the doctors are not getting it. Husband's memory started declining about two years ago. He seems (to me at least) to be declining rapidly lately. It's not just his memory now, and not just his short-term memory. He asks the same questions several times a day. He has real problems with his cognitive abilities. I don't think he understands much of what he reads. He can't follow a plot of a movie or a complex TV program. He can't follow a conversation if more than one person is conversing with him. If we are in a group, he often repeats something that someone else said a few minutes before as if he had just thought of it himself. He eats about eight times a day. He can't seem remember that he just ate. He often forgets that he has eaten lunch or breakfast. Needless to say, he is gaining weight, which is not good for his situation. He's always been a moody person, but it's much worse now. He tells the same stories over and over about his past, (I think all of us "old people" do that to some degree), but he gets the details of them all mixed up now. He pastors a small church. This is affecting his abilities to continue to preach. He will now use the same illustrations in his evening sermons that he used in his morning sermons. He loses his place and skips points or repeats the same one over and over. I have spoken to him about he possibility of retiring, but he refuses to do so. It is just a matter of time until the church approaches him about this, and I know it's going to hurt him so badly. Needless to say, because of his work, I can't share any of this with anyone. We live in a very small town, and once a few people know, everyone will know. Right now I am doing my best to cover for him, but he often gets angry with me because I "help him too much." I know he is frightened and frustrated and doesn't intend to lash out at me. I love him so much and he is slowly slipping away. I guess I am looking for somewhere to vent, because I know there is no solution for this. Is anyone else coping with this better than I am?
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Old 08-05-2015, 01:46 PM
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Hello Ginee,

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can imagine how much anxiety it's causing you. I had never heard of MCI so I googled it. According to what I read, your husband's symptoms go beyond MCI. It seems like he really needs to see a doctor again to find out whether there's some cause you don't know about yet, or it's simply a progression of his previous diagnosis. In either case, it seems that early diagnosis is important so you can take advantage of any possible treatment. Would he be willing to see a doctor?
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Old 08-05-2015, 01:54 PM
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
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Can you video both sermons in the same day and show them to him so he gets the point?

I am so very sorry. He is lucky to have you.
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Old 08-05-2015, 05:15 PM
Location: Utah
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My 50 year old brother was diagnosed with this last year. He has a really hard time staying focused, is easily sidetracked and takes an increasing amount of time to complete the most basic task.

Mild cognitive impairment (MCI) causes a slight but noticeable and measurable decline in cognitive abilities, including memory and thinking skills. A person with MCI is at an increased risk of developing Alzheimer's or another dementia.

Experts classify Mild cognitive impairment based on the thinking skills affected:

MCI that primarily affects memory is known as "amnestic MCI." With amnestic MCI, a person may start to forget important information that he or she would previously have recalled easily, such as appointments, conversations or recent events.

MCI that affects thinking skills other than memory is known as "nonamnestic MCI." Thinking skills that may be affected by nonamnestic MCI include the ability to make sound decisions, judge the time or sequence of steps needed to complete a complex task, or visual perception.


He is very much aware of his declining cognitive ability. He & I work well together on projects around my house when he visits, because I organize "to do" lists and have a lot of interaction with him to make sure he stays on task.

Sadly, this decline has made it harder & harder for him to stay employed. He still has 3 minor children that he & his wife need to provide for.

More info about MCI here: New York Times article
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Old 08-06-2015, 10:23 AM
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When I read your story its like reading my very own. I to am a Pastors wife and I have attempted to cover up for my husband to keep him from getting his feelings hurt. I went to the doctor last year and found out that I was diagnosed with two ruptured disc. My doctor advised me not to travel an hour and a half with my husband to church any longer. Or I would be doing myself a serious injustice. And that I would need and operation much sooner. It has been a year since I last traveled with my husband to church. I cried and prayed through anguish because I could not be there to help him. But a small still voice said to me to trust God and allow him to protect my husband. Even though it has not been easy I have been determine to be obedient in-spite of what people have said. i discovered that he has since had time to see himself and has since made a dissension to retire at the end of the year. All I can say is trust in the Lord and He will direct your path and give you peace.
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Old 08-13-2015, 12:27 PM
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Thank you for your kind reply. Yes, he is willing to see a doctor, and we have been to pulmonologists, geriatric specialists, and this afternoon he will be going for an echo-cardiogram. He is getting really weary with all of these appointments and tests, though I think he is sticking it out for my sake and maybe thinking they will be able to help him. He is aware that his short term memory is failing, but not aware of the extent, or in denial about it, I don't know which. So far, no one has uncovered anything other than MCI with which to attribute his symptoms. He has good days and bad. Some days I can hardly tell that he is having a problem. Some days I worry when I go off to leave him while I work. (I work part-time four days a week just a few blocks from our home.) His geriatric specialist has started him on a very small (2.5 mg) dose of Aricept. She said if he continued to decline she would increase the dose to 5 mg. I intend to call her and talk with her about increasing the dose soon. He is tolerating the medication well without side effects. Aricept won't help him gain anything back that he's already lost, but it will slow the progression. Five mg is minimum therapeutic dose, and I don't want to wait until he has lost even more ground before stepping it up. I know I am trying to fix this, and I can't do it. I hate being so whiny about this!
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Old 08-13-2015, 12:30 PM
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WordKlas, thanks for your kind reply. No, unfortunately our small church doesn't have the capability of recording his sermons, and he would refuse to watch it, anyway. He would be afraid of what he would see. I have told him that he is using the same illustrations over and over. He has resources to find different illustrations, but I think he forgets from the time that I tell him until he gets in the pulpit that he is doing this.

I'm blessed to have him as well, he has been a very good husband to me for a long time.
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Old 08-13-2015, 12:32 PM
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eggalegga, I am so sorry to hear about your brother! Fifty is such a young age to be having MCI. He is blessed to have a sister like you.
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Old 08-13-2015, 12:39 PM
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willnette, my heart goes out to you. I will pray for you and your husband. I know that my faith is being tested now as it has never been tested before, because this is going to be a long haul, I think. I will pray that your husband's retirement is good for the both of you. I know that pastors have a difficult time retiring. Being a pastor is so much a part of who they are. I do know that God is in control of this situation, and He has promised to work it out for the good. I stand on that promise daily, but my heartbreaks at the thought of my husband, feeling old and unable to take care of himself, and of being hurt by a congregation who loves him, but needs an able pastor. Thank you for your kind words.
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Old 08-14-2015, 01:53 AM
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
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Just a few short years ago I found my mental capacity quite diminished. I had days that I could remember nothing of. Driving was challenging because I couldn't remember what I had just looked at and I had difficulty negotiating normal driving conditions. And so on.

Well, I have largely recovered! In just a few weeks my improvement was noticeable in my driving and also in my work. I now remember things I had completely forgotten and my medium term and short term memory is now OK. My mental capacity has improved a lot to the point that I almost feel 'normal' now and am still improving. I'm not young anymore either. So maybe there is hope for your husband but I don't want to give you false hopes.
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