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Old 08-22-2015, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Austin
13,576 posts, read 7,777,928 times
Reputation: 15283

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Recently, a man I knew committed suicide. He was handsome, smart, successful, well liked, young. He was financially well off and his family very prominent in his town. He had it all it seemed.

I never saw him down in all the years I knew him.

We weren't close friends. He never confided in me. I wonder if he ever confided in anyone by sharing his terrible pain. Unlike other physical ailments, depression is one of the few diseases society blames and shames the patient for their suffering.

If only society would overcome the prejudice and ignorance towards mental illness. We lose many wonderful people to this terrible physical disease called clinical depression. He was one of them.....
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Old 08-23-2015, 01:34 AM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,545 posts, read 18,413,482 times
Reputation: 16831
Quote:
Originally Posted by texan2yankee View Post
Recently, a man I knew committed suicide. He was handsome, smart, successful, well liked, young. He was financially well off and his family very prominent in his town. He had it all it seemed.

I never saw him down in all the years I knew him.

We weren't close friends. He never confided in me. I wonder if he ever confided in anyone by sharing his terrible pain. Unlike other physical ailments, depression is one of the few diseases society blames and shames the patient for their suffering.

If only society would overcome the prejudice and ignorance towards mental illness. We lose many wonderful people to this terrible physical disease called clinical depression. He was one of them.....
We 'recognize' mental illness as real, and we talk about it, but underneath the feelings haven't changed that much from when people were locked up in hospitals as dangerous to society. Just look at the threads about why one should never date someone bipolar, with all the 'they's. We're all individuals. Casting out absolutes like 'never' and 'all' is the stamping diverse individuals with a stamp and pushing them out of the way. And if you're having problems, then who wants to end up with the stamp, seeing how society views it?

I'm sorry about your friend. Depression is as terrible a disease as cancer but we've been led to believe you can cure it with a pill. If you can't, then its just easier to pretend it doesn't exist. We don't want to spend the money to provide the services beyond that pill which are far more expensive. Its a lot worse for people who depend on state run clinics since often they see someone for ten minutes maybe four times a year and leave with the script they'd already written. So you have your pills and now you should be fine. If they don't work, then its up to you to deal with the system which is overloaded already.

Most people I know with a diagnosis tend to keep it to themselves since too many people look at them through a different lens after they know.
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Old 08-23-2015, 03:55 AM
 
1,110 posts, read 894,798 times
Reputation: 2290
I'm also sorry about your friend. We never really know what's going on in other people's lives unless we live with them. Sometimes those people don't really know everything and are left in the path of destruction that a suicide leaves them with.

I agree with ^^^.

When I look back at my own depression off and on over the years and was able to handle on my own up until five years ago, my depression was caused by people that had a mental illness, but refused to acknowledge it.

I could never understand why I've been a doormat all my life and an easy target for users, abusers and manipulators.

I'm older and the era I grew up in didn't discuss sexual abuse. My older brother repeatedly molested me when I was 8. I never told a soul until Feb. and that's 50 years after the fact. My brain pushed that abuse or hid it all of my life until something he said triggered those memories.

Because of what he did to me at such an early stage in my life, he messed up the normal thought processes of how a child copes and takes that into adulthood. That's the reason I've been a doormat all of my life. It's my goal to never be like that again and am working on speaking up for myself and not allow people to take advantage of me anymore.

I wish he'd have said something like that 30 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of emotional turmoil throughout my adult life. It explains why I've tolerated abusive behavior from people that refuse to see their own behavior as a sickness. That, in itself, is an unspoken epidemic in today's society.

Anyone with a severe mental disorder is screwed in today's society. The parents of kids with such disorders are trapped and then shamed when their kid looses it as a teenager or a young adult. Hospitals push these people out into the streets because of the insurance companies. The only choice a parent has after these kids are thrown out of the hospital is to have them arrested and thrown in jail for the safety of themselves, their family and society.

We can't help our own citizens with problems, yet we help other countries and take in and financially support those that shouldn't be here.

People that look down their noses and judge someone with depression, in my experience, were narcissists, abusers and sociopaths that caused my depression and I'm sure millions of others.
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Old 08-23-2015, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Austin
13,576 posts, read 7,777,928 times
Reputation: 15283
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightbird47 View Post
We 'recognize' mental illness as real, and we talk about it, but underneath the feelings haven't changed that much from when people were locked up in hospitals as dangerous to society. Just look at the threads about why one should never date someone bipolar, with all the 'they's. We're all individuals. Casting out absolutes like 'never' and 'all' is the stamping diverse individuals with a stamp and pushing them out of the way. And if you're having problems, then who wants to end up with the stamp, seeing how society views it?

I'm sorry about your friend. Depression is as terrible a disease as cancer but we've been led to believe you can cure it with a pill. If you can't, then its just easier to pretend it doesn't exist. We don't want to spend the money to provide the services beyond that pill which are far more expensive. Its a lot worse for people who depend on state run clinics since often they see someone for ten minutes maybe four times a year and leave with the script they'd already written. So you have your pills and now you should be fine. If they don't work, then its up to you to deal with the system which is overloaded already.

Most people I know with a diagnosis tend to keep it to themselves since too many people look at them through a different lens after they know.
Telling someone about depression is a call for help. There are more of us who will listen and care than some depressed people realize.

A pill, or another, or another, or another is a thread of hope to correct the brain chemistry and have another life. Silence assures no hope and possibly death.
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