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Old 09-18-2015, 05:34 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 6,069,900 times
Reputation: 11945

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someones trip trapping across my bridge.
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Old 09-18-2015, 06:35 PM
 
9 posts, read 7,996 times
Reputation: 15
Sorry people, I am stressed out and can't address your confusion very well.

@Liberated: I have a bit severe of adult needs, so I don't think she would be up to it. Having a relationship will transform me into an energetic person, so I should probably find someone who I can at least go on long walks with.

I guess it is just too complicated for anyone to believe. Maybe I should just give up...

@cindersslipper: Oh come on, don't be like that, I took your advice, thanks! Be happy!

Last edited by Hi Im New; 09-18-2015 at 06:38 PM.. Reason: Addressing a post made while I was typing my post.
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Old 09-18-2015, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Up North
174 posts, read 201,818 times
Reputation: 210
You're limiting yourself.

My friend can go for miles in her wheelchair or hand bike, and she can kayak for hours. She's also a competitive swimmer.

You say that you are disabled, my friend in the wheelchair never feels disabled... she doesn't have limits, only looks for the positives. You've stereotyped her... and call yourself disabled.

Get rid of your self-pity and don't look for excuses.
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Old 09-18-2015, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
23,795 posts, read 25,721,772 times
Reputation: 52857
If you're for real, it's good that you want to put yourself out there, but a woman isn't some sort of miracle cure that's going to solve all of your problems. Do you have friends that you can do things with, too?
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Old 09-18-2015, 06:59 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
10,195 posts, read 20,927,024 times
Reputation: 13374
Have you joined an organization that helps people with disabilities live normal lives? I used to teach classes for one and met a lot of great people there. You could volunteer or work in one yourself and perhaps find support in your search for a partner.
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Old 09-19-2015, 03:00 AM
 
Location: Illinois
4,754 posts, read 4,564,550 times
Reputation: 12928
The purpose of a relationship is not to keep you on track, make it safe for you to work, make you energetic, or transform you. A relationship is about companionship and, ideally, love. You make it sound like you are looking for a life coach.
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Old 09-19-2015, 05:49 AM
 
17,725 posts, read 15,696,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hi Im New View Post
I have a bit severe of adult needs, so I don't think she would be up to it.
What does this mean, "adult needs"?

Quote:
Having a relationship will transform me into an energetic person, so I should probably find someone who I can at least go on long walks with.
Is this what your health care professionals have told you?
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Old 09-19-2015, 06:11 AM
 
4,279 posts, read 3,584,962 times
Reputation: 14247
You have no energy due to an illness, yet a relationship with magically transform you into an energetic person?

Okay...
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Old 09-19-2015, 06:22 AM
 
248 posts, read 254,427 times
Reputation: 464
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hi Im New View Post
Having a relationship will transform me into an energetic person, so I should probably find someone who I can at least go on long walks with.
Being in a relationship has never magically transformed anyone into a different kind of person and, it is a completely unfair expectation to put on a potential partner. You will not find a quality partner by looking for someone to "fix" you. Work on being the best "you" you can be without depending on a romantic partner and you'll be much more likely to find one.
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Old 09-25-2015, 12:01 PM
 
9 posts, read 7,996 times
Reputation: 15
Okay, I'm back from checking out websites for people with my disability. They surprisingly think a LOT like I do about relationships. It is pretty common for people like me to gain extra energy and motivation in a relationship. Except most of them have gross complications, and I'm quite squeamish about it.

@Liberated: Maybe you're right. Is she early thirties or younger? I have to keep reminding myself to keep an open mind.
However, I really don't appreciate you stereotyping me after saying not to stereotype. Low energy is a more severe problem than missing limbs and even retardation.
On the plus side, I snapped myself out of depression lately. Well, as long as someone seems to be helping me make progress into this issue, I'll have hope.

@fleetiebelle: Uh.. Thanks for the encouragement? I guess? Yes, I have friends, but not the type who do anything much. It seems like only people who've gone through a LOT, like I have, and are left with low energy, are able to sympathize. Unfortunately, they're not available for what I'm looking for...

@ellie: That sounds like a very good idea. Sorry, I'm not really sure what sort of organization or situation you're talking about. More info would be greatly appreciated. Although, I am a bit squeamish...

@MoonBeam33: Not you, nor anyone else, has any right to define what a relationship is. I'm a selfless and very supportive person, and I've trained myself to be the perfect partner for over a decade, and you're seriously selling yourself and humanity short by stripping a relationship down so much.

@zentropa: Read near the bottom for your first answer... I have spent plenty of time with therapists, and shared my experiences with them, and they agree that a relationship would be a good thing for me. I've experienced a sustained increase in health and energy levels while pursuing relationships with interested women. There just aren't many of those...

@carnivalday: Haha, I'm used to the skepticism by now. It's not going to be acceptable to be skeptical about it soon, due to a lot of scientific efforts being done in psychology and general medicine. I'm not some low-life beggar or con artist you can simply throw out with the trash like that.

@KKay9: That may be good advice, for a NORMAL person, but I'm far from normal. In my ten plus years of studying relationships, I'd have to say you are absolutely wrong. Relationships change people more than anything else in life.


Okay then, I guess I have nothing to lose by telling you all what my conditions are... I don't think it will help my chances any, but I'll do just for the slim possibility that it might.

1) I have mental/emotional scars from childhood abuse and neglect which are mostly resolved, except for severe trust issues and stress disorder.
2) I developed Crohn's disease at puberty, and an overwhelming libido or whatever it is, at the same time, my mom died of cancer, and I then had no access to care and almost died several times.
*) The main problem I'm dealing with now is the sexual issue (adult needs). When I'm in public, around an attractive woman, I have to try not to see her there, otherwise I will have to resist the urge, and if I resist for too long I have blackouts, and I could do.... anything.... when I'm in a blackout. They said it would get easier and maybe go away, but after more than ten years, IT HASN'T. That's why I don't want to find someone out in the open, that's why I've been trying to find a relationship, so that I can be satisfied enough to be safe around women in public. For some reason, solo activities don't reduce the symptoms, even if I do them for most of the day. I've read that it's a common symptom of childhood abuse.

So yeah, maybe I just dropped a bomb and will be banned or something, maybe you'll stop paying me any attention like everyone else does. If anyone out there thinks they might be able to help me, I promise to be a gentleman and become the knight in shining armor that women want, because, I'm confident that I'll be able to, but only after I find someone.
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