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Old 09-21-2015, 09:50 AM
Location: usa
889 posts, read 1,420,686 times
Reputation: 342


I'm a 29 year old female. I've been suffering from depression since I was a teen. I've never been on meds, just Ativan for brief anxiety at 24. CBT did work for a few years and I was relatively happy. Had a decent job, graduated from college and was happy. I've pretty much have been struggling with it for over the past year and a half. I relocated to a new city and I'm just not happy at all. I pretty much stayed indoors all weekend. I have been trying to find a new job since I relocated 2 years ago with no luck (I live in a major city), all of my friends are married/engaged, and I have a physical chronic illness that's getting harder to deal with. Not to mention that I work a lot and have little time for socializing. I just don't know what to do, therapy just makes me feel worse and I'm tired of feeling miserable. Wil this ever end?
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Old 09-21-2015, 09:55 AM
3,073 posts, read 2,430,435 times
Reputation: 3009
I know how that feels, at one point of time, I been through similar situation like yours. What I found helpful is, if you can find some kind of hobby or interest to keep you busy, that kind of feeling goes away. However, that doesn't mean it will definitely work because I had one time where I was busy doing something, but my mind was still thinking about the problem, and I was still depress. So, try to find something that you are really into and make your mind focus on it. I hope this help.
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Old 09-23-2015, 03:56 PM
Location: 1000 miles from nowhere
549 posts, read 464,523 times
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I don't think it does, ever, fully go away. I too am 29 and have been dealing with it since I was 16 (diagnosed anyways, probably had it much earlier). Maybe my perspective isn't helpful since we are at pretty much the same place. But I think you can learn to live with chronic depression, as much as you possibly can. I've had great experience with antidepressants, especially Wellbutrin. That's what gets me out of bed many days. Whereas if I don't take it I don't think I could even manage the simplest things in the bad spells. There are so many different types out there, for instance I hated Prozac. I also take Xanax to balance the edginess that springs from the additional energy the Wellbutrin gives me. Mostly, I feel content on this particular mix. I also exercise as much as I can.

My worst depressive spells are when life feels stagnant. I definitely encouraging you to keep applying to new jobs, you never know when you might hit on the right one. A hobby is a really great idea. Especially one that gets you outside, or at least out of your home. Zoning out on too much TV and internet (as I can be prone to) is not so much. I don't tend to socialize by choice by I love connecting with my family. Maybe it's time for you to leave the city? It doesn't seem to bring you any joy. And big cities are such rat races, so stressful by nature. (I am a country girl at heart, so this is just my perspective of course).

I can empathize with you, of course I don't know about your illness, but the fruitless job search, the lack of supportive partner, etc are all things I get. By the way I've never found therapy all that effective since it for me it just stirs the hornet's nest. Perhaps consider medication, because it can make a HUGE difference once you hit the right one. Either that, or a change of situation (place?). I truly wish you the best. Life is hard enough, even not carrying the weight of depression. Depression sucks but it can almost always be managed, I promise.
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Old 09-24-2015, 02:25 AM
Location: Raleigh-Durham, NC
1,276 posts, read 1,795,603 times
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I am in my 40s. I never realized depression was a recurring thing. When I had my first breakdown as a junior in high school, I thought it was a one time thing. When I had postpartum depression, I blamed it on the pregnancy, of course. When I broke down again 8 years later, I remembering crying in my car and thinking "the depression's back." But when I broke down AGAIN in 2012...well, the light bulb went off. Now, I realize it *will* come back, but I'm determined to not let it sneak up on me. I am managing IT, it is not managing ME.

I have found talk therapy immensely helpful, but I only engaged in it after I'd been on meds for a while. At the height of my most recent breakdown, I spent the first year waiting for the magic pill to do its work, trying this dosage and then a different one. One day I realized there was no magic pill. The meds help correct my errant brain chemistry, but I have completed thousands and thousands of hours of HARD work to pull myself out of it. Fixing my brain chemistry is what makes me want to DO the work...to work on getting better instead of sleeping the days away.

Talking to the therapist is, for me, like stepping on the scale at Weight Watchers. What I mean is that there are TWO people at WW who knows your weight: yourself and the person who weighed you. The person who weighs you has no control over what you eat, whether you exercise, etc. The same goes for the therapist. She can only listen to what I tell her, offer advice and new perspectives, etc. It's ME who has to go out in the world and do the work, because it's ME I'm cheating if I don't work at it.

OP, I really think you may need to medicate. It's a personal decision, of course, one that should be made only after consulting with your doctor. If the first drug doesn't work, try another. I went through several before I found one that clicked. I was on it, happily, until it stopped working...and that's when I sank downward (without realizing it). Thankfully, I've only had to go through one trial with my current med; it started working immediately.

When you read this, know that I'm pulling for you. Message me any time you need to.
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