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I have always been prone to anxiety. I even had a bout of agoraphobia when I was in my early 20s that lasted a few months. Starting about 9 months ago we had a string of deaths in my family. My husbands grandfather died of pancreatic cancer 4 weeks after being diagnosed. 2 months later we found my husbands brother dead in his bedroom from a drug overdose, 1 month later my husbands god father died, 8 days lateru grandmother (who I was extremely close to, you could say she was my mother) died, and 3 weeks ago my other grandmother died a tramtic death (she was sitting on the couch grabbed her head screamed and was dead before she collapsed onto the floor).. In the middle of this I also has allery testing which induced an anaphalaxis reaction. It scared me to death and I now fear another one will suddenly happen and I will be alone without help. I carry epipens but I'm scared to death to have to use them.
I began having crippling attacks after my closest grandmother died in Jan. It started with me driving on the highway and suddenly out of nowhere a feeling came over me that was so bad I almost crashed the car. My arms went numb and I couldn't stop this "feeling". I had to call a friend to talk to me till I made it off the highway . I was going 90 at one point to make it to the exit, literally screaming for her to help (keep talking). I haven't been able to drive alone on the highway since. Just thinking about it and the same feeling comes over me.
I had another bad one a few weeks ago dropping off my daughter at school , I made it to work and it was so bad and wouldn't stop I literally ran out of the morning meeting and drove straight to my doctor.
It's gotten to the point where I can't stop the anxiety about the anxiety. I fear driving on the highway because I think if something happens ( attack) how will I get help.
I should mention all of their deaths happen on the 8th or the 8th month. My brother in law died on my birthday (Nov 8) as did my uncle 2 years prior and his is also buried in plot 8. My grandmother died on Jan 8th and my other died 8/28. I seem to be irrationally terrified of the number . Tomorrow is my anniversary (sept 18th) and is also the date my first child died (mid term miscarriage). I feel like my life is spinning in out of control and I'm slipping back into agoraphobia. Can anyone make recommendations on maybe something to read or coping mechanism?
wow, you've experienced a lot of tragedy lately! I'm so sorry! Your reaction is completely understandable.
Here's a couple thoughts which might help.
1) Consult a therapist- You've been through a huge ordeal, and maybe you need professional help. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
2)For driving- Focus on the process of safe driving... e.g. thought process = focusing on driving at the appropriate speed, staying in the middle of the lane, and spotting potential hazards in front, beside, and behind you.
Engage in the process of being a safe driver and let that be your coping mechanism.
If you are completely unwilling to try it yourself, hire a driving instructor and ensure they have a drivers ed car. Those cars have wheels,brakes, and gas pedals on both the passenger and driver side. If you start driving terrible they can override you and take over.
As for the rest of your anxiety, you simply have to disengage from it. Realize that obsessing over unpredictable things is the worst life-strategy you can have. When you realize you are engaging in a process which is detrimental to you, decide that you are smarter than that, and rebel against engaging in such processes. Over time, if you continually switch to more productive/enjoyable processes, you will feel stronger knowing that you have ways of dealing with anxiety.
The more you can do yourself, the stronger you will feel.
Find a therapist. Between mild medications and some basic anxiety techniques you can learn to apply, you should rebound. I had about 36 months of these continuous hardships so I know what you are going through. Inevitably, people who are important to us do die. However to be slammed with so many losses in such a short time -- especially those that are total surprises -- will bring down the emotional health of anyone. Don't be embarrassed to find help.
Find a therapist. Between mild medications and some basic anxiety techniques you can learn to apply, you should rebound. I had about 36 months of these continuous hardships so I know what you are going through. Inevitably, people who are important to us do die. However to be slammed with so many losses in such a short time -- especially those that are total surprises -- will bring down the emotional health of anyone. Don't be embarrassed to find help.
Agree !
I had panic attacks after we lost my father. Therapy & a little medication will make a big difference. Don't suffer, do get help.
1) Consult a therapist- You've been through a huge ordeal, and maybe you need professional help. Nothing to be embarrassed about....................
Maybe?? Maybe?? You must be joking. The OP was driving 90 on the freeway in her haste to get to an exit (the only reason for the haste being a "feeling") all the while screaming into her cell phone. In California at least, it is illegal to drive while talking on a cell phone for safety reasons. If that picture doesn't scare the hell out of you as a fellow road user I don't know what possibly could. She is a clear andpresent danger to herself and others. This is an emergency, not some "understandable" reaction. Emergencies require emergency measures.
Maybe?? Maybe?? You must be joking. The OP was driving 90 on the freeway in her haste to get to an exit (the only reason for the haste being a "feeling") all the while screaming into her cell phone. In California at least, it is illegal to drive while talking on a cell phone for safety reasons. If that picture doesn't scare the hell out of you as a fellow road user I don't know what possibly could. She is a clear andpresent danger to herself and others. This is an emergency, not some "understandable" reaction. Emergencies require emergency measures.
Chillll.. sorry I didn't type my sentence exactly how you wanted it. She is going to have to keep driving anyways even if she gets treatment.
You shouldn't suffer through debilitating panic attacks. If the first doctor you see can't offer you any relief, see another one. Believe me, they can prescribe anti-anxiety medications and mood stabilizers that will blunt any strong emotions that may be controlling you--without sedative effects. You've been through a lot, and I wouldn't say that feeling of being out of control is healthy at this point. You're absolutely right to be reaching out for help and some sort of treatment.
Don't be afraid to try a prescription. The medications nowadays are nothing short of a miracle, IMO, for the results they have. They can have some side effects, yes, but usually these are fairly mild and they'll fade quickly.
The medication will take the edge off, and help you cope with any therapy you might get, either from a counsellor or a psychologist. An MD can refer you to someone well trained. Good luck.
I'm so sorry Sweetbottoms I don't have much advice unfortunately, I suffer anxiety too but yours stems from a very real place. It's okay to give yourself a little leeway, after everything you've been through it's understandable you need a break, and someone to hold your hand through the grieving/anxiety process. I agree that professional help will provide you a release valve for your intense feelings. You don't have to deal with this on your own. I have found anti-anxiety medications to be almost life changing for myself.
ETA I can't rep Ottawa anymore but what s/he said ^^^
You are having bad panic attacks. You really need to see a therapist/psychiatrist but they are usually backlogged for 6 months.
Plus any type of meds you start (ssri) will take months to kick in.
I would suggest going to your normal doctor, telling him about your issues and having him prescribe you some Xanax/lorazepam. Take the recommended dose and don't drive until you are used to it. Perhaps even take a few days off. Make an appointment with a therapist and take the benzos until your appointment.
Please don't try to ride it out, or drink it away. These deaths will most likely take years to get over so you really need a long term plan, not a quick fix.
I have been in and seen extremely similar situations to yours and most of them have played out this way.
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I don't have much advice unfortunately, I suffer anxiety too but yours stems from a very real place. It's okay to give yourself a little leeway, after everything you've been through it's understandable you need a break, and someone to hold your hand through the grieving/anxiety process. I agree that professional help will provide you a release valve for your intense feelings. You don't have to deal with this on your own. I have found anti-anxiety medications to be almost life changing for myself.
