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Old 11-02-2015, 07:02 AM
13,080 posts, read 16,282,204 times
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I have a very GOOD friend I've known for years....diagnosed with bi-polar since very young. NEVER was there "self harm" or bad spending habits involved...just ups and downs (sometimes quite severe) with depression.
When your friend spaces out for 15 seconds or so....if she's not deep in thought, it sounds more like mini strokes.
She sounds (to me) more like she's been truamatized by past relationships, and now has a fear of unfaithfulness.
When she tells you she loves you...by all means reciprocate (if you feel the same)...maybe her not wanting you to say those words is her way of offering you a way out..(which you're taking).....so TELL HER how you feel.
Maybe she needs to hear those words because she doesn't believe them herself.
Hugging, showing and TELLING someone you care for them can only trigger feelings of anxiety and stress (her trigger?) in someone who disbelieves you.
Good luck to you, I hope everything works out for you and her.
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Old 11-02-2015, 08:00 AM
Location: PANAMA
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Could be just BD, if it's BPD...watch out! they turn violent (BD as well but BPD is more physical violence)
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Old 11-02-2015, 09:10 PM
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Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
If she doesn't self harm she most likely doesn't have BPD.

They are changing the name of BPD to ERD anyway.

Emotional Regulation Disorder.

It's much more accurate and less judgey than BPD.
Nonsense. BPD is a spectrum and physical self-harm is just more on the extreme end (unless you're including other indirectly self-destructive or high-risk behaviors as "self-harm") As you can certainly be an over-emotional Jekyll/Hyde...without cutting yourself.

But I would agree that "Borderline" sounds almost too demented and maniacal. Not to downplay the condition, but it's more "simply" about being so easily overcome with powerful emotion that all rational reason is clouded over...and then reacting like a hurt, frightened child - in an adult body. Which can actually get "maniacal" in bad cases - so certainly should be taken seriously and not underestimated, either!

Anyhow, to the OP - if she's BPD, then you may likely be a White Knight Rescuer. That's one typical codependent pairing, at least. So if she needs healing, then so do you!
Rescuing Yourself from Your Need to Rescue Others
Are you a "White Knight?" Are you attracted to needy, damaged, or helpless people? Do you feel like your love can heal your partner? Are you overly involved in your partner's problems? Are you hungry for constant reassurance in relationships? Do you make excuses for your partner? Do you try to "save" people from themselves?

Last edited by pinemon; 11-02-2015 at 09:19 PM..
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Old 11-03-2015, 06:53 AM
10,194 posts, read 7,659,102 times
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Why does everyone seem to think their ex has BPD?
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Old 11-03-2015, 07:32 AM
13,080 posts, read 16,282,204 times
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maybe because it's easier than looking at the relationship they have, and don't understand.
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Old 11-03-2015, 02:31 PM
6,319 posts, read 6,067,310 times
Reputation: 11945
BPDs are the demons in the mental health world.

Why this is so, is beyond me.

BPD = Emotional PTSD.

It doesn't make you a bad person, mean to your partner or loved ones, or any of that crap it gets the blame for.

A lot of the behaviours I read blamed on BPD, seem more narcissistic to me.

But what do I know, im not qualified.
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