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They're so worried about how others see them that they avoid interacting with people. They may spend hours daily worrying about whether they said something that made them look stupid. Any tiny conflict or misunderstanding can make them give up on a relationship. They may freeze up if someone makes any sort of overture to them. A few counterphobic types become so ridiculously social in self-defense that they are constantly calling, texting, partying, then going home and collapsing from how much it stresses them out. Those are often the ones who dare not check their phones immediately when the text alarm goes off, even if they're in 80-mph bumper-to-bumper traffic. Many, many, many people with social anxiety can't interact with others without having a drink or getting high first.
They're so worried about how others see them that they avoid interacting with people. They may spend hours daily worrying about whether they said something that made them look stupid. Any tiny conflict or misunderstanding can make them give up on a relationship. They may freeze up if someone makes any sort of overture to them. A few counterphobic types become so ridiculously social in self-defense that they are constantly calling, texting, partying, then going home and collapsing from how much it stresses them out. Those are often the ones who dare not check their phones immediately when the text alarm goes off, even if they're in 80-mph bumper-to-bumper traffic. Many, many, many people with social anxiety can't interact with others without having a drink or getting high first.
Wow, a HUGE part of what you wrote describes me. Except I don't self medicate with drinks or drugs (food appears to be my coping mechanism).
I got invited to hang out with a close friend who will be in town in a few weeks. She's moreso here to celebrate someone else's going away who is leaving the city I live in. But of course she's asked me to hang out and I absolutely dread hanging out with groups of people I do not know. Even though she won't be here for 2 more weeks I'm already thinking about it, and have had thoughts along the lines of:
-No one is going to talk to me
-I'm going to come off as quiet and weird
-I'm unattractive so no one is going to want to approach me if we go out
-I won't be able to 'think' of anything to be able to hold a conversation with people I do not know
-I'm going to be the 'third wheel'
-I'm boring and don't want to go out and spend time acting as if I'm not
Crazy thoughts huh? I'm just now realizing at 36 I think I really have this. It's not just depression. It's not just being quiet or boring. It's the fact my mind ruminates about having to be around people some times. It sucks so bad because I have a few close friends I think will be close friends for life, but I can't really expand my circle any more (with females or with males/dating) because I simply cannot get close to other people due to my anxiety of being in social settings.
What are the behaviors exhibited by people with social anxiety?
I'm pretty sure that I have it to some degree. Example: I recently attended a cousin's wedding. I don't see her or talk to her regularly, but she's my cousin and she invited me so I wanted to be there. So during the reception, I kept thinking to myself that I need to go over and congratulate her, tell her how great she looks, give her a hug, etc. But there were so many other people vying for her attention, and she's busy with stuff, so maybe I shouldn't bother her right now, I thought. But I HAVE to go over and speak to her at some point, otherwise it would be rude. So I finally decide to go over, and all I got to say was "Congratulations" before someone else pulled her away for a photo, so that made me feel like, yes I had picked the wrong time and she was too busy, and I screwed up yet another social situation. I also never got up the nerve to congratulate and introduce myself to her new husband which I had wanted to do, and I'm sure I would've done if I were not a socially anxious person.
I knew a person diagnosed with it and she told me she literally couldn't walk through a shopping mall without thinking EVERYONE was looking at her, judging her, etc.
She also had a screaming case of narcissism so...
I suggest there could be an overlap. Folk with SA seem to think at a very deep level, that they are The Most Important in the Room. They have little awareness of the fact that they are just another face to most people.
Maybe I'm biased. But I have had friends over my lifetime who exhibit SA symptoms and they are precious and special and fragile and sensitive and SELFISH.
What are the behaviors exhibited by people with social anxiety?
Fear of crowds because of a feeling of vulnerability when in them.
Social interaction with unknowns only when necessary.
Usually realists who can't pretend they're enjoying themselves when they're not.
They're usually unfairly judged by others to be negative and "cold" people.
Their anxiety stems from being an introvert in a world that demands constant social interaction with others.
I look at it (social anxiety) as a protective measure against the lies and deceit so abundant in society today....
It's such a broad topic and I think it manifests itself in many different ways with different people. From extreme shyness to clingy behaviors to even hysteronic or narricistic behaviors. Even selective mutism.
They're so worried about how others see them that they avoid interacting with people. They may spend hours daily worrying about whether they said something that made them look stupid. Any tiny conflict or misunderstanding can make them give up on a relationship. They may freeze up if someone makes any sort of overture to them. A few counterphobic types become so ridiculously social in self-defense that they are constantly calling, texting, partying, then going home and collapsing from how much it stresses them out. Those are often the ones who dare not check their phones immediately when the text alarm goes off, even if they're in 80-mph bumper-to-bumper traffic. Many, many, many people with social anxiety can't interact with others without having a drink or getting high first.
That exactly.
The worse part is you feel like no one else understands because if they don't have it, they don't understand. Sheltered life, always stressing, thinking, planning.
And to top that off, if they bring the matter up or say anything about any part of the anxious thoughts it can create more "fear".
self diagnosed social anxiety person checking in ! all these posts describe me. anyone have any experiences overcoming some of it? any coping mechanisms?
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I also never got up the nerve to congratulate and introduce myself to her new husband which I had wanted to do, and I'm sure I would've done if I were not a socially anxious person.
