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Old 11-03-2015, 06:22 AM
Location: MA
1,622 posts, read 1,421,586 times
Reputation: 3018


Originally Posted by Ottawa2011 View Post
I think any personality disorder boils down to deflecting unpleasant emotions--and people with PDs have an expertise with it that can be mind-boggling to anyone who doesn't have experience with it. If you think you can force them to face something that they're unable to face, you'll never figure out a way to force them to do it -- that's like trying to nail jello to a wall.

BPD is frustrating to doctors and to people who know the BPD patient, but IMO that's part of what makes the condition rather tragic. It seems to me to be a type of PTSD. Especially people who self-injure, it's a compulsion to re-experience traumas. They're no longer in the maladjusted environment of their childhood, but they have some compulsion to recreate it. So in a sense, it's like they can never escape the neglect or abuse of their parents.

I like the way you said compulsion to recreate it. That sums it up. My SO's mother is 80 years old, but, is always complaining about something and recreating drama and especially about not having a boyfriend she simply will never be happy no matter what she puts her family through. Thank you it helps us understand the disorder better and put limits on her behavior and be less affected by it.
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Old 11-03-2015, 10:22 AM
Location: SoCal again
17,261 posts, read 14,230,330 times
Reputation: 34424
Wow, this thread really has taken off.

THanks for all your input, very interesting to read.
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Old 11-03-2015, 02:32 PM
Location: Cushing OK
14,545 posts, read 18,418,370 times
Reputation: 16831
Originally Posted by Ottawa2011 View Post
Unfortunately, there are lots of us who do need medication. No one says to a person with blindness, "Are you sure you want to use a walking cane/guide dog? Won't that change who you really are?" No one says to a deaf person, "Why don't you stop using the hearing aid? Maybe it's masking your real personality?" No one says to a wheelchair user, "Why don't you try to live your life without it? Maybe it's smothering your true self?" ARGH.

There's a long-standing bias against the mentally ill in Western society, it involves blaming the victim. If we had more self-control, more self-discipline, if we tried harder, if we had enough will power, we'd be able to tough it out. It's our "fault". Don't admit that you "need" medication, it's an admission of weakness. Don't let anyone think that you aren't "strong" and "normal". Well, normal people can go get stuffed. They're boring anyway...

I need medication, and I'm not ashamed of it. If this were the 1950s and these meds didn't exist, I'd have been thrown into an institution, maybe given a lobotomy, or maybe I'd be dead. I'll take my meds, no matter how experimental they are, any day. I like my life now.
I would have taken meds, but at a very minimum amount, and only with a doctor to monitor things. Thanks to the meds I would have to have major, and invasive surgery to fix it which would further limit my ability to absorb medication and nutrition. I also explained that I didn't absorb meds evenly, sometimes none, sometimes all at once and sometimes anything inbetween. Since the steadyness of the blood level matters, it seemed this should be important. But mr. I'msmarterthanyou dismissed it completely. I said the coated time release pill would be worthless. He dismissed that. I felt like my life experince and an illness which could have killed me didn't matter in his world. That is being disregarded and dismissed just as badly as saying its all in your head. One, who was the head of the department, decided to change a medication, and I came back telling him I didn't take it. I looked it up. There was an FDA warning about it causing a 'low salt' condition and not giving it to those with one. I printed it out. He tossed it out, said it 'shouldn't'. Shouldn't I get to decide this? And he is the department boss?????

I'm not saying not to take medication. I am saying take proper and necessary considerations. Like with the cataracs, a medication (serequel) linked to them should not be given to someone who has one. Simple and obvious.... but I was the one who found out why they happened, and when asked about it the doctor didn't think it was important. Two surgeries, one which did not heal right (the right pupal does not adjust to light, just stays open) should NOT have been necessary. We are WHOLE people and too many pdocs don't ever consider medical concerns. I told them I COULD not gain weight, that my medical doctor had said it would bring on bad problems with old surgery. But it too was blown off as unimportant. Anyone wonder why I don't trust pdocs anymore? The third resulted in yet another surgery.

The physical results have impacted my life as much or more than the moods. I will never chance it again. I got myself off them. I control my environment. I use behavoral modifyers I know work. I cycle some, but not enough to be a problem. And as I had nobody I could trust, I figured this out myself. The low level cycling I think I've always done is managable without pills for me, and any ways isn't I'll take over damaging my health.

I look up ALL meds now and decide if I'll take them or not.

I didn't mean it to say people's needs for help should be smoothed over or ignored. I just think that we are both mental beings and physical ones. Medical followup should go along with it. And patients should also be informed and discuss the risks of side effects with a medical doctor and the pdoc. If they choose not to risk them it IS their right. If something is indicated as do not perscribe, it should legally be the responsibility of the pdoc if there are results. Means they can be sued. This means they care about the patients physical health and work with medical personal if necessary.

I took medication which helped, but only when I had intentionally and gradually reduced it to a shadow of the first. I had tried to discuss this with the so called pdoc. He flat out refused to do this. I spoke to my case worker about him as it was the only way I could. Patients should retain the right to say no to something which goes in their bodies and not be vilified.

I'm not talking at all about weakness, just the right of a patient to decide on what goes in their body and be properly informed of risks, and without condenmation be allowed to say no. And they also need to require medical doctors follow those where there is any risk of bad results from the meds. And the patient gets all the information, makes the decision, and is not lied to or information minimilized.

Nobody should tell you that a deep health concern is not important, be it a psych one OR a medical one. BOTH matter. If you were told one your meds could cause some problem and you choose to take it fine, because it is YOUR choice. I just don't think that if a patient says no it should be accepted as well without recrimination.
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Old 11-05-2015, 07:16 AM
Location: PANAMA
1,424 posts, read 1,150,795 times
Reputation: 1156
Most bipolars fail on taking their meds and really listening to their doctor and there's a relapse on the condition. Bipolars can become stable if and only if they pay close attention to their doctor.

Also there is the "triggers" thing which can be very sensitive, specially for those around.

Sayin' "I'll decide when to take meds" is a recipe for disaster.
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Old 11-25-2015, 12:55 AM
Location: The Bubble
11 posts, read 5,452 times
Reputation: 32
Hi Eve :-)
What a sweet friend you are! He's lucky to have your support.

I'd STRONGLY encourage your friend to meet with another provider. I am of the opinion that pharmaceuticals should be a last resort, not the first or primary treatment, especially in the case of compulsive or anxious behaviors. Many behaviors influenced by anxiety respond better to CBT and other cognitive, rehabilitative, therapuedic treatments, over taking a designer, understudied psych drug wich may mask or numb the underlying issue. Your friend may need medications, but he also may just need to learn strategic coping skills and manage his emotions and anxiety in a cognitive way. Either way, I highly encourage him to consider at least two more opinions before resigning himself to the self defeating chain of prescription drug 'treatment'
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