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Old 11-16-2015, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,469 posts, read 46,735,666 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014 View Post
I mean to completely block him on Facebook....
Yep, if you block him on FB, then no trace of him will show up in your feed. You really don't need any triggers.
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Old 11-16-2015, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Empire State of Philly
1,904 posts, read 1,401,322 times
Reputation: 3122
I'm already undergoing therapy. I haven't quit.

Yes, I did have a "good" relationship with my father. He was a great listener growing up, he treated me really well when I was a child. When I turned 14, he became less "affectionate" as a parent and more of a mentor. The upbringing I had was very strict though. My mom wasn't great but my dad has always been kind to me. He was my mom's minion for a long time though. He put me trough college and helped me out even when he needed the money more than I did. He sacrificed a lot despite his lack "emotions".
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Old 11-16-2015, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Empire State of Philly
1,904 posts, read 1,401,322 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Yep, if you block him on FB, then no trace of him will show up in your feed. You really don't need any triggers.
We're not even friends on FB! It's just that his page is public. He was blocked for two years and that did not prevent me from thinking about him daily. There's something off.
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Old 11-16-2015, 01:13 PM
 
1,882 posts, read 1,183,894 times
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Your brain is stuck in a groove, and feeling these emotions and thinking these thoughts is a habit. You need to break the habit by filling your time and mind up with other things. Go out with friends, put a profile up on a dating site (if only to have some interaction with other guys, even if you don't end up having a relationship with someone there), get some new hobbies. Your mind is turning to this because it doesn't have anything else to focus on.

And block him. Doesn't matter that his page is public. Block him so you don't see it. Put an add-on in your browser that permanently blocks all of his sites, too.
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Old 11-16-2015, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Empire State of Philly
1,904 posts, read 1,401,322 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JasperJade View Post
Your brain is stuck in a groove, and feeling these emotions and thinking these thoughts is a habit. You need to break the habit by filling your time and mind up with other things. Go out with friends, put a profile up on a dating site (if only to have some interaction with other guys, even if you don't end up having a relationship with someone there), get some new hobbies. Your mind is turning to this because it doesn't have anything else to focus on.
As I said in my opening post, I have been "socially active". I've taken up a lot of hobbies purposely to avoid thinking of him. I get home as late as I can and make sure I'm always meeting new people or at least surrounded with people. I hate being alone because I focus on him. I've become a bit of an extrovert purposely to forget about him! I've really gotten out of my comfort zone, purposely.

When you move countries, you meet tons of people, you get a new circle, new friends, new structures. It's amazing but even when I get home at 2am, my mind goes right back to him. When I wake up in the morning, the same problem occurs.

I used dating websites throughout these two years and although I've been on a few dates, I'm never satisfied. I also meet guys rather easily with those websites, but my attention span is rather short. I usually stop taking to them after a few weeks.
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Old 11-16-2015, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,469 posts, read 46,735,666 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LostinPhilly View Post
I'm already undergoing therapy. I haven't quit.
Do you take medication for your anxiety? Have you specifically talked to your therapist about THIS problem??

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Old 11-16-2015, 01:24 PM
 
Location: PVB
3,826 posts, read 2,056,028 times
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I would suggest some professional help especially if you are getting ill and having panic attacks. I can imagine getting bummed out seeing an ex with someone else but getting ill and having an anxiety attack is not normal. After all its been 2-3 years. Its normal to try to remove all traces but to torture yourself by looking at his Facebook page makes no sense.
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Old 11-16-2015, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Empire State of Philly
1,904 posts, read 1,401,322 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Do you take medication for your anxiety? Have you specifically talked to your therapist about THIS problem??

No, because I never get anxiety attacks, except in extreme cases (usually before a big exam or an important interview or when I'm deeply "hurt"). Most GPs I went to and therapists told me I didn't need any medication. Truth be told, I get stressed out like most people but I don't have social or generalized anxiety.

When I told them about this specific matter, they gave me the advice I posted above (basically, broaden my horizons).
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Old 11-16-2015, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,469 posts, read 46,735,666 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LostinPhilly View Post
When I told them about this specific matter, they gave me the advice I posted above (basically, broaden my horizons).
The therapist's advice for obsessive thinking was "broaden your horizons"???
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Old 11-16-2015, 02:33 PM
 
6,805 posts, read 3,847,079 times
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You are obsessed over this because he basically abandoned you. I'm guessing you probable have some abandonment issues from your childhood.
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