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Old 11-22-2015, 03:32 PM
 
1 posts, read 621 times
Reputation: 10

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This is a vent/rant.

I am possibly the sweetest girl anyone has ever met, but if you get kicked too many times, you can change from a sweet girl very quickly. I let my parents, my siblings, people in my school dictate my whole life. I'm so tired of not knowing who I am because I'm so trapped in who everyone else is. My mother treats me like i'm disposable, like something you'd scrape off the bottom of your shoe. She only wants to talk to me so I'll say what she wants to hear. I'm not allowed to form my own opinion, and when I do, it's either wrong or stupid. I told her a couple of weeks ago that this girl I knew died, and she said "I don't want to talk about that right now, it's too sad" Don't mind me if Im sad or hurt.

Don't get me started on my father. He isn't present, and when he is, he doesn't really care about who I am, or what interests me. He just likes it when I shut up. And I haven't talked to him in 3 months and it's funny because he can try to talk to my other two sisters, but I;m just not worth the effort. He was going to try to get child support money from my mother. That's the only reason he let me stay with him, and I thought it was to make up for everything he's done before.

My sisters/brother are probably the most selfish people that you'll ever meet. They only care about what interests them, and them only. I have felt left out my entire life. To have your parents constantly talk about how they don't need me, that I need them, and how easy it would be for them to just erase me from their life. My sisters will only talk to me when they need me to keep a secret about them going out, or when they want to get drunk and make sure nobody says anything. Which is so ironic because even if I were to tell my mother she wouldn't care.

So my mother doesn't think twice about my estranged sister who's only estranged to me to thanksgiving dinner. Nevermind the fact that she's called me all of this crap to her friends, but my feelings mean nothing to her. It's like i'm a butler and I'm just here to serve. When I do something remotely wrong, I am punished to no end. It's like I'm the resident punching bag. Had a bad day at work? Yell at Niah. Get in a fight with your boyfriend? Take niah's phone. It's a constant mill of pain, and I hate it and I don't know what to do. I don't want to talk to my family, because that's not even what I consider them anymore. I don't know how to rebuild my vision of myself, because the way I feel about myself was built in my foundation. Help?
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Old 11-22-2015, 07:14 PM
 
10,194 posts, read 7,663,789 times
Reputation: 24015
You know, I was the bottom of the barrel in a family like yours. I didn't even see it until I was deep into therapy.


But my mom, who is borderline and narcissistic, would describe her family the way you did.

So part of me things you should get therapy to recover. Part of me thinks you need to get therapy to not play victim.
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Old 11-22-2015, 07:27 PM
 
1,614 posts, read 1,308,770 times
Reputation: 2658
You sound like your a minor so will respond to you as such. Your background and family are sad to say dysfunctional and that can be a serious negative. Am telling you now you are a special person irregardless of the family dynamic. If your still in school you need to talk with someone you trust like a counselor. If your being physically or emotionally abused you also need to let your counselor know. You need adult intervention. Can you talk with a friends mother? It sounds like you are the one who is less likely to be the family problem but are taking alot of flack. Do you have grandparents there for you? Dont just come on here and not listen to advice others give you. You are special and in spite of everything you can have a good future. There is someone out there who can help you. Keep us informed

Last edited by luv my dayton; 11-22-2015 at 07:47 PM..
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