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Old 01-20-2016, 07:08 AM
 
1 posts, read 954 times
Reputation: 10

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My girlfriend went to rehab in prescott az about 2 months ago. In the beginning i was all for her going to get help because she needed it and i wanted her to get better. But that changed. She was under a no contact rule the first 30 days which is understandable. Once the 30 days was up i got a call from her she was telling me how much she hated it there and wanted to come home. I told her i thought she should stay and finish it out. After that call is when everyrhing got messed up. She got in trouble dor calling me and they put her back on phone restriction. They made her block me on facebook and would not let her have any contact with me. In her 9th step they told her ro make ammends with everyone but me. They have taken her phone blocked me on her facebook and email. Yhis girl is the love of my life and they are trying ro tear us apart. What can i do? I havent talked to her in weeks, i havent seen her in months and now another girl from the same recovery center told me my girlfriend was kicked out for having sex with someone but i don't know how much truth there is to that because she still has not been online or had her phone or anything. Im really worried about her. How can i find out if shes ok or get in touch with her beforw these crooks ruin my relationship with the love of my life?
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Old 01-20-2016, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,405 posts, read 9,721,590 times
Reputation: 12301
[snip]

I must say, OP, you probably have a part in why the girl is there in the first place. So, why not just leave it alone and move on ? Best for you and for her.

Last edited by Jeo123; 01-21-2016 at 09:54 AM.. Reason: Thread moved
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Old 01-20-2016, 01:39 PM
 
266 posts, read 224,116 times
Reputation: 773
You can't allow yourself to become an enabler. Recognize that she is ill and needs professional help. It sounds like the facility is trying. I'm not saying that she is in the proper place. Maybe, maybe not.

My wife and I have spent over $300,000 over the last 10 years for our alcoholic son, placing him in the "best" rehabilitation hospitals, psych wards, AA rehabs, psychiatrists, etc. all across the country. You name it - we probably have tried it. Three suicide attempts, three dui's, and now in jail awaiting sentencing: to what prison and for how long.

Many experts say the patient needs to 'hit bottom' to understand their problem. My son has hit bottom and bounced on the bottom. He says he has no hope and will to the same things when he is released.

In my opinion, she will not get better until SHE wants to. Contrary to what she's saying - YOU are NOT what she needs at this time. That may be hard for you to understand right now. Unfortunately you will will come to understand if she stays on her present course.

I do hope you both come though this ordeal - safe. My thoughts are with you.
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Old 01-20-2016, 01:46 PM
 
4,196 posts, read 12,409,999 times
Reputation: 4153
good comments from DD above.....

I hope Joe sees them before this thread gets moved or deleted.....
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Old 01-21-2016, 07:48 PM
 
Location: So Ca
18,267 posts, read 16,805,525 times
Reputation: 15923
Quote:
Originally Posted by Difficult Dave View Post
My wife and I have spent over $300,000 over the last 10 years for our alcoholic son, placing him in the "best" rehabilitation hospitals, psych wards, AA rehabs, psychiatrists, etc. all across the country. You name it - we probably have tried it.
Have your read this book? One of my nephews has gone through a similar ordeal. Everyone in our family has read it more than once. Best of luck to you. Beautiful Boy | David SheffDavid Sheff

Quote:
In my opinion, she will not get better until SHE wants to.
This is so true.
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Old 01-22-2016, 12:29 AM
 
Location: TOVCCA
8,452 posts, read 12,276,711 times
Reputation: 12390
Sadly, very few addicts/alcoholics manage to stay clean and sober after doing only one stint in rehab. Relapse is the rule and they need multiple interventions. And unless you become one too, few relationships with an addict/alcoholic survive. Usually the stronger person leaves, or when that is impossible, turns off. In any event, it sounds like she broke the rules and is not really into accepting help.
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Old 01-23-2016, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,017 posts, read 18,516,044 times
Reputation: 32398
OP, you might want to reflect on why "the love of your life" is a person with so many HUGE problems. Any mature person would run from such extreme drama.
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Old 01-24-2016, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,405 posts, read 9,721,590 times
Reputation: 12301
^^^^^ this. That's what I tried to say when I initially replied to the OP but he took offense and told me to go "off myself". There are reasons why people get obsessed with each other and cannot let go. It's a magnetism very much connected to addictions and often hard to dissolve. Guess the OP has not benefitted from any of our advice and chooses not to return. That's typical with addictions.
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Old 01-24-2016, 09:11 PM
 
3,431 posts, read 3,355,376 times
Reputation: 4159
How old is this girl?
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