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Old 01-26-2016, 05:15 PM
 
23 posts, read 40,202 times
Reputation: 18

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Hi,


So I'll start by saying I am not a psychologist, nor am I trying to diagnose anyone or get a diagnosis. It is more of curiosity as I know someone who to be exhibits very abnormal behavior and I feel like something might not be quite right with them. They have been like this basically their entire life as far as I have known them and talked to other people that have known them, although I will say it has worsened with their old age. I live with them so I get to see this behavior first hand, but they treat everyone about equally in regards to how they act. I am not going to paint a pretty picture of them but this is truth about them.


Here are some of the symptoms:


1. Controlling and possessiveness:
Ex: Constant monitoring, following you around going behind you, watching what you do. She has an excessive irrational fear that you are going to misplace something or make a mess in her house. Extremely manipulative, wants full control over you, will try to make you feel guilty like you wronged her, does not want you to have any relationships or friendships outside of her.

2. Obsessive about cleaning. She will literally "deep" clean the house 2 sometimes 3 times a week. Ex: After we had a alarm system installed the other week where two guests had to come over and she spent the next day cleaning the house for 4 hours straight. She perceives the house to be dirty (by her standards) but it is really not.


3. Excessive pickiness: Everything, including stuff that is not hers has to be in the exact order that she wants it in. She will rearrange my stuff. The bed has to be made right when she wakes up, no exceptions. Cannot stand when someone else is in her house even if it is family. She will hide and pout about it until they leave. Nothing is ever good enough or clean enough for her.


4. Excessively worrisome:
Cannot relax about anything, does not understand jokes at all (no sense of humor especially cannot mentally grasp sarcasm). Very easily offended. If she calls you once and don't answer she will continue to call you (back to back) until you either do answer or turn off your cell phone. Extremely uptight. She is constantly worried about what other people are doing. She is honestly so concerned about what other people are doing she can't even focus on her own life. All she does is sit around and clean and worry about stuff.


She has many sleepless nights from worrying. She cannot turn her brain off and go to sleep because she worries so much.


5. Cannot maintain relationships with people because of these traits. Does not have many (if any) close friends. Her behavior pushes people away and tarnishes relationships even her own family. She isolates herself very much.


6. Incredibly judgmental of other peoples lives. Very inadaptable, does not try to change. Does not try to understand other people if they act differently from her. Very hypocritical though. Yet she expects you to change to adapt to her needs and cannot understand when you don't.




7. Completely unaware of her behavior and how she comes off to people and how the perceive her. Her mood can change from black to white in less than a second.


8. Paranoid: Always afraid someone is talking about her behind her back, she will follow you around and listen to make sure you aren't doing it. Cannot even talk on the phone around her or she will linger to make sure no one is talking about her.


9. Constantly miserable. Very negative personality, constantly complaining. Makes other people miserable around her which is why she has very few if any close friends.


10. Turns everything into a huge deal. Even the smallest insignificant thing. She would have the same reaction if a nuclear missile struck NYC as if you left a wet towel on her bathroom floor. (I am not exaggerating).


My personal belief is that she uses cleaning the house as a way to feel in control. She does not count though so as far as the symptoms of OCD go, so I am not sure she has those, everything has to be in order or it bothers her but she does not count or anything like that, she doesn't have a repetitive ritual in her cleaning or anything. She is just literally obsessed with cleaning. She will clean the house and then two days later she will remark of how dirty and disgusting it is and clean it again.


This is consistent behavior. She treats everyone the same, regardless if family or friend, regardless of age or maturity. She has done this to her spouse as well has her daughter, she even does it to complete strangers.


What could this be? What could be wrong with her psychologically to make her be like this? I personally think she needs to see a therapist or get on medication but obviously that is not my decision. I would just like to know more about how she thinks so I can better deal with her. Anyone know some one like this? What sort of psychological disorders line up with this behavior?
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Old 01-27-2016, 06:15 AM
 
10,194 posts, read 7,663,789 times
Reputation: 24015
Sounds like a personality disorder. The bad news is that there is very little that can be done for it medication wise, and therapy is not helpful to people who don't recognize they have a problem. However, she might benefit from some medication to manage her anxiety and ,if willing, some therapy to help her cope with anxiety.

It might be more helpful for the people who her behavior impacts to get therapy.
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Old 01-27-2016, 06:25 PM
 
3,431 posts, read 3,357,874 times
Reputation: 4159
I'm not a psychiatrist either... it does sound like there could be more than one thing going on. Perhaps Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, due to the cleaning. The worrying, controlling, the tendency to get upset about disruptions to routine... that could be some form of Asperger's (milder end of the autism spectrum), or maybe it could be OCD "ruminating" (obsessing over particular thoughts)... really this is impossible to diagnose over the web. There could be many problems behind the "symptoms" that you're seeing.
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Old 01-27-2016, 07:11 PM
 
2,857 posts, read 7,661,294 times
Reputation: 2943
I agree with the previous posters. She could be suffering with a personality D/O.
They have now "clustered" these disorders into 3 groups. Personality D/O's frequently share symptoms and the diagnoses get fuzzy so the "clusters" are helpful especially in your description.

Take a look at Cluster "C" here- http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-c...s/con-20030111
The traditional treatment for these conditions is to treat the symptoms. So whatever symptoms are her most debilitating/worrisome will determine the course of action.

As annoying/infuriating as it is for those around her, it is probably hell on earth for her.
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Old 02-02-2016, 09:44 PM
 
2,055 posts, read 703,621 times
Reputation: 1925
I agree with the above, probably either OCD or OCPD (they are different)
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Old 02-07-2016, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Viva Las Vegas
33 posts, read 29,553 times
Reputation: 41
Default My Opinion

Quote:
Originally Posted by JCC112 View Post
Hi,


So I'll start by saying I am not a psychologist, nor am I trying to diagnose anyone or get a diagnosis. It is more of curiosity as I know someone who to be exhibits very abnormal behavior and I feel like something might not be quite right with them. They have been like this basically their entire life as far as I have known them and talked to other people that have known them, although I will say it has worsened with their old age. I live with them so I get to see this behavior first hand, but they treat everyone about equally in regards to how they act. I am not going to paint a pretty picture of them but this is truth about them.


Here are some of the symptoms:


1. Controlling and possessiveness:
Ex: Constant monitoring, following you around going behind you, watching what you do. She has an excessive irrational fear that you are going to misplace something or make a mess in her house. Extremely manipulative, wants full control over you, will try to make you feel guilty like you wronged her, does not want you to have any relationships or friendships outside of her.

2. Obsessive about cleaning. She will literally "deep" clean the house 2 sometimes 3 times a week. Ex: After we had a alarm system installed the other week where two guests had to come over and she spent the next day cleaning the house for 4 hours straight. She perceives the house to be dirty (by her standards) but it is really not.


3. Excessive pickiness: Everything, including stuff that is not hers has to be in the exact order that she wants it in. She will rearrange my stuff. The bed has to be made right when she wakes up, no exceptions. Cannot stand when someone else is in her house even if it is family. She will hide and pout about it until they leave. Nothing is ever good enough or clean enough for her.


4. Excessively worrisome:
Cannot relax about anything, does not understand jokes at all (no sense of humor especially cannot mentally grasp sarcasm). Very easily offended. If she calls you once and don't answer she will continue to call you (back to back) until you either do answer or turn off your cell phone. Extremely uptight. She is constantly worried about what other people are doing. She is honestly so concerned about what other people are doing she can't even focus on her own life. All she does is sit around and clean and worry about stuff.


She has many sleepless nights from worrying. She cannot turn her brain off and go to sleep because she worries so much.


5. Cannot maintain relationships with people because of these traits. Does not have many (if any) close friends. Her behavior pushes people away and tarnishes relationships even her own family. She isolates herself very much.


6. Incredibly judgmental of other peoples lives. Very inadaptable, does not try to change. Does not try to understand other people if they act differently from her. Very hypocritical though. Yet she expects you to change to adapt to her needs and cannot understand when you don't.




7. Completely unaware of her behavior and how she comes off to people and how the perceive her. Her mood can change from black to white in less than a second.


8. Paranoid: Always afraid someone is talking about her behind her back, she will follow you around and listen to make sure you aren't doing it. Cannot even talk on the phone around her or she will linger to make sure no one is talking about her.


9. Constantly miserable. Very negative personality, constantly complaining. Makes other people miserable around her which is why she has very few if any close friends.


10. Turns everything into a huge deal. Even the smallest insignificant thing. She would have the same reaction if a nuclear missile struck NYC as if you left a wet towel on her bathroom floor. (I am not exaggerating).


My personal belief is that she uses cleaning the house as a way to feel in control. She does not count though so as far as the symptoms of OCD go, so I am not sure she has those, everything has to be in order or it bothers her but she does not count or anything like that, she doesn't have a repetitive ritual in her cleaning or anything. She is just literally obsessed with cleaning. She will clean the house and then two days later she will remark of how dirty and disgusting it is and clean it again.


This is consistent behavior. She treats everyone the same, regardless if family or friend, regardless of age or maturity. She has done this to her spouse as well has her daughter, she even does it to complete strangers.


What could this be? What could be wrong with her psychologically to make her be like this? I personally think she needs to see a therapist or get on medication but obviously that is not my decision. I would just like to know more about how she thinks so I can better deal with her. Anyone know some one like this? What sort of psychological disorders line up with this behavior?
Hi, Ive read through your post and I am going to respond in a different post. Give me about 15-20 minutes. Jenn

Last edited by MLBFANATIC; 02-07-2016 at 09:51 PM.. Reason: misspell
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Old 02-07-2016, 10:28 PM
 
Location: Viva Las Vegas
33 posts, read 29,553 times
Reputation: 41
Talking DSM-5 personality disorders she may have

*The DSM-5 lists ten personality disorders, and allocates each to one of three groups or ‘clusters’: A, B, or C *


*Cluster A (Odd, bizarre, eccentric)
Paranoid PD, Schizoid PD, Schizotypal PD

*Cluster B (Dramatic, erratic)
Antisocial PD, Borderline PD, Histrionic PD, Narcissistic PD

*Cluster C (Anxious, fearful)




**Out of the choices from above, from what you have described, in my opinion, she may have no less than one or more of these personality disorders.
Ive taken just what I believe she may have from the complete DSM-5 list.


Paranoid personality disorder
Cluster A comprises paranoid, schizoid, and schizotypal personality disorders. Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive distrust of others, including even friends, family, and partner. As a result, the person is guarded and suspicious, and constantly on the lookout for clues or suggestions to validate his fears. He also has a strong sense of personal rights: he is overly sensitive to setbacks and rebuffs, easily feels shame and humiliation, and persistently bears grudges.
Histrionic personality disorder
People with histrionic PD lack a sense of self-worth, and depend for their wellbeing on attracting the attention and approval of others. They often seem to be dramatizing or ‘playing a part’ in a bid to be heard and seen. This is especially distressing to them, as they are sensitive to criticism and rejection, and react badly to loss or failure.
Narcissistic personality disorder
In narcissistic PD, the person has an extreme feeling of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, and a need to be admired. He is envious of others and expects them to be the same of him. He lacks empathy and readily exploits others to achieve his aims. To others, he may seem self-absorbed, controlling, intolerant, selfish, or insensitive. If he feels obstructed or ridiculed, he can fly into a fit of destructive anger and revenge. Such a reaction is sometimes called ‘narcissistic rage’, and can have disastrous consequences for all those involved.
relationships.
Anankastic personality disorder
Anankastic PD is characterized by excessive preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules; perfectionism so extreme that it prevents a task from being completed; and devotion to work and productivity at the expense of leisure and relationships. A person with anankastic PD is typically doubting and cautious, rigid and controlling, humorless, and miserly. His underlying anxiety arises from a perceived lack of control over a world that eludes his understanding; and the more he tries to exert control, the more out of control he feels. In consequence, he has little tolerance for complexity or nuance, and tends to simplify the world by seeing things as either all good or all bad. His relationships with colleagues, friends, and family are often strained by the unreasonable and inflexible demands that he makes upon them.
Avoidant Personality Disorder
Research suggests that people with avoidant PD excessively monitor internal reactions, both their own and those of others, which prevents them from engaging naturally or fluently in social situations. A vicious circle takes hold in which the more they monitor their internal reactions, the more inept they feel; and the more inept they feel, the more they monitor their internal reactions.



**The Anankastic personality disorder also deals with OCD (the crazy ass cleaning & thinking the house is always dirty} OCD is mistaken a lot for counting things, doing certain things in order, washing your hands 100 times a day. Those are traighst of OCD but her disorder focuses more on control....hence the Anankastic personality disorder.


*With all of that said {and read}, lol, is she bat**** crazy?. I don't know, I've never met her. I *can* say, however, that she needs to see a psychiatrist and be prescribed medications for whatever her diagnosis is.
If she doesn't, what you're describing will never stop in my opinion.
It has gotten worse with age and will continue to if not remedied.
I'm so sorry that you have to live in that type of environment. It simply isn't healthy.
Is moving out within your means?
Please let me know if I helped some.


Jenn :-)
Resourses:
Bachelors Degree in Clinical Psychology
Previously licenced Certified Pharmacy Technician

Last edited by MLBFANATIC; 02-07-2016 at 10:31 PM.. Reason: misspell
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Old 02-07-2016, 10:37 PM
 
Location: Viva Las Vegas
33 posts, read 29,553 times
Reputation: 41
Sorry, I meant to type OCPD, not OCD.
Sorry, I don't have my glasses and can't see for ****, lol.
I beleive she has OCPD....which is a personality disorder, not OCD which manifests usually from anxiety.
Jenn
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Old 02-08-2016, 11:52 AM
 
13,081 posts, read 16,289,083 times
Reputation: 15363
obsessive compulsive disorder...paranoia.....sociopath
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Old 02-13-2016, 10:37 AM
 
Location: PANAMA
1,424 posts, read 1,150,943 times
Reputation: 1156
An NPD could be that way as well. On some level and with some of the traits of the OCD.
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