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Old 01-29-2016, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Mesa, AZ
42 posts, read 41,635 times
Reputation: 42

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I'm 24 and work for the Arizona Department of Child Safety as a Case Manager. I've been with them for 4 months. I can't focus good on the job now. All I deal with all day is cases of child abuse. Neglect and physical and sexual abuse on kids. It's taking its toll on me bad. It's so depressing seeing all these abused kids and images and detailed descriptions of it. I knew it would be when I took the job, but I thought I could handle it. I try to not think about it when I'm not at work, but it's hard to. I try to take my mind off it by going horse riding or going to rodeos or going to the gym. But I can't get it all out of my head.

My relationship with my girlfriend is really being affected too by it. All I wanna do when I get home is sleep and sometimes I feel like crying because of all the abuse cases I deal with. I can't sleep well at night either. I just lay there thinking about it all. We aren't supposed to be judgemental at DCS on the abusers. Our priority is supposed to be about the kids and the kids alone. But sometimes I just wanna beat the Hell outta the abusive parents. But I can't. I can't handle this much longer but I can't just leave a job with no job to go to. My girlfriend keeps pressuring me to try and tough it out, but I can't. It's so depressing and hard. I just feel like I'm going downhill quick.

I'm so depressed and like I said all I do is sleep or cry. My relationship with my girlfriend is suffering emotionally, socially, and intimately. I don't know what to do other than leave the job but like I said I can't leave a job without one to go to. Maybe I should just go back and work on my Grandpa's ranch. Being a cowboy is something I do best. But I don't know. It's a state job with good benefits but it's burning me out so bad. I can't do it anymore but I don't want to be looked at as a failure. Just trying to vent and not be thought of as crazy or something. Any advice or thoughts?
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Old 01-29-2016, 06:46 PM
 
Location: U.S. Pacific Northwest
251 posts, read 155,364 times
Reputation: 591
There are lots of good jobs with benefits out there that won't destroy you. What's the worst that could happen, realistically, if you quit? What's the best that could happen? Repeat the question, this time imagining what if you stayed?

You need to love yourself a little on this one. The pain is yours; I can't imagine it for you, and neither can your girlfriend.

Pain management here looks like a plan and a backup plan. Can some counseling help buy you some time to work out what you want to do without making yourself crazy? Or acting impulsively?

There's no dishonor in leaving a place that hurts you. Discomfort, yes. I have recently done this myself. I can say that while I'm not happy, yet, I now know peace. It's much easier to think in peace.

I don't think you can't make a decision. I think you already know what the decision, and because it to is painful, it must be wrong.


What decision causes the least hurt and the most healing? What problems do you want to solve? And what can you do to create the situation that supports what's right for you?

Go in peace, friend.
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Old 01-29-2016, 09:38 PM
ERH
 
Location: Raleigh-Durham, NC
1,289 posts, read 1,810,967 times
Reputation: 2463
I'm sorry you're going through this. Someone I know used to work in the special victims unit of our local law enforcement agency. He transferred out at his earliest opportunity. The things he saw and heard -- it really affected him for a long time.

Get out while you can. Make a fresh start, or go back to something you know before you lose yourself entirely.
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Old 01-29-2016, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Mesa, AZ
42 posts, read 41,635 times
Reputation: 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by ERH View Post
I'm sorry you're going through this. Someone I know used to work in the special victims unit of our local law enforcement agency. He transferred out at his earliest opportunity. The things he saw and heard -- it really affected him for a long time.

Get out while you can. Make a fresh start, or go back to something you know before you lose yourself entirely.
Yeah I'm working on it. It's nothing like I thought it would be. I have applications in everywhere. I just can't do this anymore.
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