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Old 01-31-2016, 08:16 AM
 
181 posts, read 237,999 times
Reputation: 67

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Hi, I need advice on tomorrow first day of work after month short disability leave.

This is about my husband. My husband going back to work tomorrow. He is affected by bipolar disorder, and after month of reovery, he is doing great, ready for work, totally stabile, just perfect! Life is happy again for meas well! ...But he doesn't know how to respond when coworkers will ask him what happened to him? Which hospital he was? And I am sure there are people there who are curious a bit too much. You know he just won't to say "ohh I have bipolar disorder and needed hospitalization etc." He just doesnt want to be open about it, especially that he works there for long time enough and not planning to change work.

What would be the best response to not make coworkers feel ignored and still let them know that he was ill. You know that kind of stigma thing... I understand him and somehow I am not effected by that stigma much, I belive in my husband, and I amhappy with him.

Thanks for your advice I am going to let my husband read it today,, so be please kind in your advice
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Old 01-31-2016, 09:31 AM
 
2,857 posts, read 7,658,988 times
Reputation: 2941
Kudos to your husband for his journey to wellness!
Kudos to you for standing by and supporting him!

His co-workers are not entitled to any explanation for his absence. But if he wants to say something he can simply say he was taking time to attend to some personal business and stop the conversation right there.

Wishing you both continued success!
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Old 01-31-2016, 10:10 AM
 
3,431 posts, read 3,355,376 times
Reputation: 4159
He doesn't have to tell anyone what hospital he was in, he doesn't have to tell anyone his diagnosis, he doesn't have to tell anyone what medication he takes.

I had a psychiatrist advise me against talking about it with anyone I work with. After ten years, I still haven't spoken to anyone about the details.

People will be nosy, but they have no right to that information. If he doesn't spill the beans, they have no way to use the information against him. It might be a good idea to keep it to himself, because of harassment possibilities.

A lot of people still have weird prejudices about mental illness. Some people would be scared of him if they knew the diagnosis, other people would make a big deal out of every misstep that he makes at work because they'd blame the illness.

He probably won't be asked by very many people, though. People might hint that they're curious, but he doesn't have to volunteer the information to them. Most people wouldn't have the balls to ask outright.

He can just say that he's feeling a lot better, he doesn't want to discuss the details, but he's happy to be back at work. Just leave it at that.
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Old 01-31-2016, 10:18 AM
 
Location: CO
2,454 posts, read 2,821,385 times
Reputation: 5225
He could say he had some health issues but is better now. Then change the subject. If pressed for further details he could laugh it off by saying health issues are too boring to talk about, and how are you? What's been going on around here?

Congratulations to your husband, this is a difficult road to plow, but I've seen in my own family how much progress can be made!
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Old 01-31-2016, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,405 posts, read 9,721,590 times
Reputation: 12301
I agree with all above. If he can't get off the hook with a person (a very nosy one), I would say "I had a bad case of the flu." In other words, I would tell a little white lie to someone who had no business asking.
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Old 01-31-2016, 04:06 PM
 
181 posts, read 237,999 times
Reputation: 67
thank you, my husband read it, got some positive vibration and he likes "I had a bad case of the flu." thank you for all your good comments. I know sometimes bad things happen to good people, just a life! cheers!
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Old 02-02-2016, 08:36 AM
 
Location: PANAMA
1,424 posts, read 1,150,385 times
Reputation: 1156
One question, when you are doing a job application and they ask you about your illnessess, aren't you entitled to tell them about your mental illnnesses as well ?

I know this is not relevant to the topic, but just wondering.
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Old 02-08-2016, 07:16 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
52,380 posts, read 41,164,172 times
Reputation: 73212
Quote:
Originally Posted by skywalker2014 View Post
One question, when you are doing a job application and they ask you about your illnessess, aren't you entitled to tell them about your mental illnnesses as well ?

I know this is not relevant to the topic, but just wondering.
Job applications should not have health questions. Those are only legal AFTER a job offer is made. And even then there are strict laws that govern such questions.

Quote:
The ADA places restrictions on employers when it comes to asking job applicants to answer medical questions, take a medical exam, or identify a disability.

An employer may not ask a job applicant, for example, if he or she has a disability (or about the nature of an obvious disability). An employer also may not ask a job applicant to answer medical questions or take a medical exam before making a job offer.

An employer may ask a job applicant whether they can perform the job and how they would perform the job. The law allows an employer to condition a job offer on the applicant answering certain medical questions or successfully passing a medical exam, but only if all new employees in the same job have to answer the questions or take the exam.

Once a person is hired and has started work, an employer generally can only ask medical questions or require a medical exam if the employer needs medical documentation to support an employee’s request for an accommodation or if the employer has reason to believe an employee would not be able to perform a job successfully or safely because of a medical condition.

The law also requires that the employers keep all medical records and information confidential and in separate medical files.
http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/practices/i...es_medical.cfm
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Old 02-11-2016, 10:30 AM
 
Location: PA
2,111 posts, read 1,971,590 times
Reputation: 5432
Your husband is not obligated to tell anyone why he was on leave. He could just say something vague like "I had to take care of some things" and leave it at that.

I've had to take short-term disability in the last two years for the same thing. I was worried that people were going to ask questions when I returned to work, but my worries were unfounded. People take leave for all sorts of reasons, and in my experience, people don't ask why.
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Old 02-12-2016, 05:40 PM
Status: "Daring to hope" (set 5 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
62,572 posts, read 59,428,330 times
Reputation: 75389
Interesting thread. I hope your husband continues to do well. My daughter was just hospitalized for bpd. She had been seeing a therapist but inpatient treatment is what she really needed. She is not employed at the moment, but she is being quite open about it.

Make sure YOU are taking care of yourself as well. Illnesses such as this can take a toll on family, too.
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